Marriage license in the am.....

1mobags

and we still have no idea what to do about our names

Why is it so hard?

[Deleted User]

Very exciting! Are you debating weather or not to Change your name?

1mobags

Well he may be changing his name from his biological fathers to his mothers maiden name. If he does I'm trying to decide whether to keep my name or double barrel. I like the idea of having the same name but don't want to lose mine. If he keeps his name he doesn't want me to take it or our future kid..... He hates it that much. He is unsure because he feels like everyone knows him as his name and is worried it would be weird to change it..... I think no weirder than when women change their name. I wish it was easy but the decision has to be made soon!

[Deleted User]

Yeah that is a big decision. If he decides to change his name people will get used to it. You could always make your maiden name your middle name and change your last! Good luck! Lots to think about!

LuckyGirl1713

wow that is a bit of a pickle to be in.  one of my fi's best friends did exactly what your fiance is thinking about doing.  he has zero relationship with his biological father and he has a wonderful stepfather so when he was 18 years old he actually took his stepfather's name.  he said most people he knew completely understood and it took a few months but everyone got use to using his new last name.  good luck!

tiny speck

Can you just get the marriage license in your current names and figure out the legal changes later? It might not be ideal, but it should be possible, and you don't want to have to rush or not feel 100% sure on this decision.

tmw7278

I think your FI should definitely take his mothers maiden name if he feels that strongly about it. I have 2 male friends on FB that I went to HS with who did the same thing. I'm sure he is nervous about the change now but will feel soooo much better once its done. Good luck!

orangehills

Why would you need to have your new names for the license? In CA at least you do the license in your current name and then change your names after. I'm keeping my last name as a new middle, so first- middle- new middle- new last. I'll go by new last socially and on bills, my current last name at work since they know me as that. And on fbook- I'm showing both lol. If he hates his last name that much though, he totally should change it, it's not weird at all!

tiny speck

Also, yeah, I agree it seems unnecessary to need your new names when you get the license now that I think about it and Orange pointed it out, but maybe it's a requirement in your state?

anssett

I seem to have a magic super power. My ex husband took my last name and so is FI... *shrug* You can do whatever works for your situation. There are no rules. People will make mistakes with any name change. Correct them politely and move on. Who cares. I love the idea of being "allowed" to change my name, but I love mine so much I never would. I'm glad other people have that option.

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_marriage-license-in-the-am?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:ca47a4f9-8824-443b-bbfe-932ee1f17875Post:a12b861b-82ad-41b0-bc04-a4d61cfa469f">Re: Marriage license in the am.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Why would you need to have your new names for the license? In CA at least you do the license in your current name and then change your names after. I'm keeping my last name as a new middle, so first- middle- new middle- new last. I'll go by new last socially and on bills, my current last name at work since they know me as that. And on fbook- I'm showing both lol. If he hates his last name that much though, he totally should change it, it's not weird at all!
Posted by orangehills[/QUOTE]

I can't be sure because I haven't applied for mine yet, but I think there is a space on the license that asks what your new names will be so they have record of it prior.

ETA: At least in MA anyways.

1mobags

Well we decided! He was still unsure and asked me what I thought. I think he was worried about changing it even though he had good reason, he's had his name for 35 years. I said I was okay with either but if he kept his name, I personally viewed it as his father not having any hold over him... They may share a name but that doesn't make him his father. He is the redemption of the name as his own wonderful person. So he decided to keep his name. I chose to double barrel with no intention of changing legally right now.... Only if we have kids but that way it's there should I chose to use it. We are announcing ourselves with our current last names. The double barrel is for us only right now. And yes we had to put new last name on the application for the license in ma..... Thanks for all the support and comments