Wedding Party

vk2204

We are getting ready to ask everyone to stand up with us as our bridal party. Ours seems pretty large. I am asking 7 girls to be BM's and then I have 2 younger cousins (9 and 7) who can call themselves whatever they want - FG/BM. FI plans on asking 6 or 7 plus 2 RB's.

I know we have a lot of people, but the general rule around here is ask the people you would call at 3am to help you bury a body. And I couldn't imagine not having them up there with me on our wedding day. But here is my 'dilemma'. One of the girls I plan on asking is a twin. I am obviously closer to the one, but am still good friends with the sister, mostly because of twin 1.

I guess I just want to hear your perspective on this. I don't want to ask her just because I feel bad. But I still feel bad. Am I over thinking this? Please tell me yes.

Also, tell me how many are standing up for you!

Christine9866

I'm sure you are fine with just asking the one! Even though they are twins they still have separate friends,etc. I am sure she will understand and not even think into it and I would just ask the one. As far as people for our wedding I have 6 bridesmaids and FI has 7 groomsmen. We also have 2 flowergirls and 1 junior groomsman.

redjellybean128

One of my BMs is a twin and I'm friends with her sister as well, but much closer with the one that is BM.  So far no issues that I'm aware of.  So I think you might be overthinking a little. I am inviting the sister and her husband to the wedding though. 

In terms of size, our wp is 6 bridesmaids and 5 Groomsman and a Ring Bearer. 

ChiGirl2013

The few sets of twins I've known have always been beyond happy to have seperate lives, interests, friends, etc.  Maybe if they were 5 and you were asking them as flower girls, it might be a tough situation.  But these are grown women and they realize that you're closer to one than you are to the other.  I honestly don't think it will be an issue.

Do you feel you're close enough to the other twin to WANT her as part of your WP?  Maybe if you feel you HAVE/WANT to involve her, she can be your personal attendant, or be the first one at the reception hall to make sure everything is set up.  I honestly don't think you will need to give her a job for the day, though.  Twins understand that they're not going to both be on the same wavelength in every single situation.

Our wedding is very small, so we're only having 1 attendant on each side, plus dd as our flower girl.

vk2204

Thanks ladies. I do feel like I am over thinking this.

At one point both sisters were my best friends. We have known each other since 6th grade. And since we have grown up and moved forward in our lives, we have kind of gone our separate ways.  What really helps my friendship with twin 1 is our FI's are boyfriends lol so they want to hang out even more than we do. Time to stop thinking about it, I will take a deep breath and get over it lol.

court4608

I think if you are closer to one and good friends with the other then the one you are good friends with should uderstand. You're right, a wedding party is made up of the ones that you hold the closest to you in your life, you're over thinking it because you're a nice person and I have the same problem as you do, thinking of others when it comes to the wedding before thinking of yourself! You put whoever YOU want in your bridal party, you can still invite the other twin to the festivities like the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and even the morning of getting ready for the luncheon if you're having one? She can still be involved in your big day and still feel as if shes part of the magic! :)


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:d141ba2b-6b9f-4a60-bd0d-a84845290225Post:e2d067e1-f2f2-4ef2-b35d-38d9ecf8d3ad">Wedding Party</a>:
[QUOTE]We are getting ready to ask everyone to stand up with us as our bridal party. Ours seems pretty large. I am asking 7 girls to be BM's and then I have 2 younger cousins (9 and 7) who can call themselves whatever they want - FG/BM. FI plans on asking 6 or 7 plus 2 RB's. I know we have a lot of people, but the general rule around here is ask the people you would call at 3am to help you bury a body. And I couldn't imagine not having them up there with me on our wedding day. But here is my 'dilemma'. One of the girls I plan on asking is a twin. I am obviously closer to the one, but am still good friends with the sister, mostly because of twin 1. I guess I just want to hear your perspective on this. I don't want to ask her just because I feel bad. But I still feel bad. Am I over thinking this? Please tell me yes. Also, tell me how many are standing up for you!
Posted by vk2204[/QUOTE]

shipsinthenight

I would just ask the one twin. I'm sure they will both understand. I'm asking 2 sisters, and we've all been friends since we were little. At one point I was closer with one than the other, and then it switched for a while. Now I would say it's about equal. I can't imagine asking one and not the other, but it sounds like you may havea slightly different situation.

I've already asked all my BMs, the two sisters, my cousin, and another lifelong friend who is now my accompanist. I'm thinking of asking two of my voice students to be our accolytes. We have one flower girl and no ring bearer. Fi has asked his best friend/ex roomate, another co-worker/ex-roommate, and he's thinking of asking his uncle...We both like symetry, and he wants to have another GM, but he doesn't have lots of close friends, so he's having trouble deciding who to ask.

erbear84

I think you'll be just fine asking one!  

We already asked everyone.  I have my MOH (currently in England and will be there until my wedding) and 4 BMs and he has his Best Man and 4 groomsmen.  Our baby nieces will be our flower girls - they'll be 4 and 2 and they'll love the crap out of the girly dresses.  I may have more fun shopping for their dresses than my own!  

eddiesgirl11

Vk- as a twin myself I think you are fine to just ask one.If both girls had the same friends and you only asked one then I would see a problem. My twin and I have different friends and I wouldn't be offended if she was in a wedding and I wasn't 

svanculin

Agree with PPs, you should be fine asking the one. Of the twins I know, they would probably be more offended if you asked them just because they were twins, because they tend to get lumped together a lot. We have three people on each side, my 2 closest friend and my brother on my side, and his 2 brothers and closest friend on his. I've already asked my side, he still hasn't lol

mabapunta

I agree on inviting just the one twin you're actually really close to. The sister will understand

I decided on my bridal party very easily and early on, even though I didn't ask any of them in the elegant way I had originally planned. My MOH and one BM are my best friends from college. My other BM is my closest friend since moving here. My FI is still deciding on his party. He's debating whether to exclude college friends just because they don't really talk anymore - but I think that's fairly normal for guys...so who knows! I think we agree on having equal numbers...so he needs to come up with 3 groomsmen No RB or FG.