Destination vs At Home Wedding

I really need some help from you ladies! After visiting a few local venues FI and I are finding it really hard to stay in our 10K budget area and we are paying for everything ourselves. The majority is food and drinks spent on GUESTS when this is OUR day! I initially wanted a destination wedding but then we thought it might be selfish to those family members who are unable to come (money, health, elderly, etc) but now we are heavily considering it! I think we would rather trade in having a party for 100 people for memories of a tropical wedding 20 years from now. We want to honeymoon in Hawaii so we would just do it all there. I'm just not sure how it will be received by family members. Has anyone else battled with this decision? Anyone out there having a destination wedding? How did you weigh your options? Are you finding it much cheaper? Please help me with my pro and con list TIA

I won't have to go look at ANOTHER venue (been to 4 and i'm burnt out)
Save more money
Can move our wedding date up (currently September)

My 81 year old grandmother won't be able to attend and we are really close :(

ps I'm also posting on the destination board but I really love the advice from my Columbus Knotties!

Re: Destination vs At Home Wedding

  • edited December 2011
    *** wedding date currently September 2012 (i forgot to put the year)
  • edited December 2011

    FI and I decided to have a destination wedding after pricing out venues also! It was a hard decision for me (not him he wanted beach all the way), but after the thought of paying over $30 per plate for people we barely know and talk to we felt this was the way to go. We are doing ours in Destin, Florida and inviting only our immediate family and closest friends. FI has a large family so we are still inviting 100 people but that doesn't mean that everyone is coming. We are just renting a beach house, having the ceremony there and having a "bbq" type atmosphere for the reception. This was the best option for us, because my mom offered to give us any extra money in our budget that we don't use and everyone gets to be relaxed on vaca for a week!

    I agree that its a hard decision, but honestly i've never heard anyone regret saying they had a destination wedding!
  • edited December 2011
    We originally started with the idea of doing a destination wedding (with only immediate family- like 15 people) and then having a large reception at home. Needless to say, that plan did not go over well at all with our families, and we felt really bad about having people have to pay so much money. (A flight for one person was over $600!!) So after lots of drama, we decided to keep everything here, and I am SO glad that we did. I think I would have really regreted not having it here with all of my friends and family, and I am secretly glad that all of my family objected to the destination wedding because I think it would have been a huge mistake for us! Destination weddings can also be very expensive, so I would look at how much the costs are going to be to do it, and then maybe make your decision. HTH!
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  • edited December 2011
    One of my best friends is getting married in NY but she is from OH so it's kind of a destination wedding for her entire family and friends. She only gave us 6 months notice and it has been really hard to save the money to afford to go. I think if you choose to do a destination wedding choose a place that is more readly accessible to your guests- ie Florida, SC and if you want to go to Hawaii either make that a later trip for you two or go one a honeymoon after a weekend on the beach. Please make sure to give your guests lots of time to save the money because many of them would like to be there for your special day.
  • csh96csh96 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I love the idea of a destination wedding.  You could always have a cheaper and more casual reception later to celebrate with close family and friends.  Price everything out first and make sure that those you really need to have there can be there.  We ended up not going with that option because of my father's health and I just couldn't get married without him walking me down the aisle.
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  • edited December 2011
    I think you should do what you would make you and your FI happy. Having said that to Hawaii is VERY expensive. Have you priced this out? If you are doing this to save money I'm not sure how much you would actually save. Also, be prepared for some people to not be able to afford that trip. Florida may be cheaper... If that is what you want, go for it. But... I think you could have wedding here for about the same amount of money you would be spending on Hawaii, especially if your guest list is only 100. while you always plan for 100% attendance it is unlikely that every single person would attend. It is very important to me to celebrate with family and friends so getting married in my hometown was a no brainer for me, but everyone is different!
  • KellyRVTKellyRVT member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Take a look at the Clintonville Women's Club, they are very reasonably priced and you can bring your own alcohol. Also, the Swim and Racquet Club only charges $500 and you can bring in your alcohol AND caterer. You could definitely do it for under 10K at either place. Hope this helps!
  • edited December 2011
    We originally wanted to elope, then after the complaints of many family members we loomed into having it here. But we realized we would be giving ip what we really want! And as much as I love my family and friends, I just can't give in to their demands on my wedding day :( And even though we've "decided" it's still tough. Good luck in deciding, I know it's really a difficult choice.

  • edited December 2011
    Thank you everyone for the great insights and opinions. In the end FI and I have to do whats best for us and not try to satisfy everyone else because it will be impossible. We talked with our parents this weekend and they are on board and are willing to support us wherever we choose. Right now I am so overwhelmed so I think I just need to take a step back from the wedding and breathe!
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