Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?

faile556

Just curious what the split was, who's doing what?

If you're writing your own , are you sharing what you wrote? What if one person writes way more than other and you don't share so you don't know?

If you're not writing your own, religious restriction, don't want to cry your face off, something else entirely?

orangehills

We aren't writing our own and are going very traditional. It is slightly religious since we are having the ceremony at a church, it's basically I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. And then there is something after this part that brings more God and religion into it, but I'm blanking.

[Deleted User]

I'm writing our vows. They will be the same thing. I stole something I found online that I liked and tweaked it a little.

I had printed out pages and pages of vows for us to go through, as a couple, and to choose what we liked best about them--so that we could cobble together our vows, together.

Well, I must have been drinking when I dreamed up that grand idea, because I haven't been able to get FI to even look at the document of various vows, no less tell me what he wants to vow.

Therefore, I am writing them. I have a degree in writing anyway, so I suppose that's best.

[Deleted User]

We're going with a traditional Methodist service.  We never really wanted to write our own and thought that if both sets of parents used the traditional vows and they're still together 40+ years and so did our grandparents then there must be something to them :-)

BrittRN+

Our JOP gave us a bunch of different options, so I'm combining my favorite parts of a few. FI really didn't want write our own personal vows because he didn't want to get too emotional and that's just fine with me.

mabapunta

We want to write our own, but keep them short so I can actually say it all without breaking down so much into happy tears that I can no longer speak. HA.  We'll write them together and altho I don't want them to religious, because I am not a religious person, we might use those as our base. But I don't have tons of ideas. We're waiting on our officiant to give us some ideas and I've been Googling it, too.

phoenix870509

FI wants to write our own vows. I wanted traditional but it means so much to him to write our own, so we are. He is already done with his. I, on the other hand, am struggling. Here is what I have so far (hasn't changed in 3 weeks...bad case of writer's block):

[FI], I remember the first time I met you...for the second time. I guess fate decided we would be a pretty cute couple. It's been an interesting 6 years, but I wouldn't change anything for the world. Everything we have been through has only strengthened our relationship. When I look at you, I still get those butterflys I felt all those years ago when I fell in love with you. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Sounds scary, but with you I'm not afraid. I promise to love you always, even during post-season...although I might not like you very much.

faile556

These are great keep them coming!

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_vows-are-you-writing-your-own-or-going-with-your-relgionofficiantetc-standard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e1286d66-5965-4479-bb61-97517baa6676Post:f0eae2f5-cab2-467a-9212-f6fdd5780841">Re:Vows Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our JOP gave us a bunch of different options, so I'm combining my favorite parts of a few. FI really didn't want write our own personal vows because he didn't want to get too emotional and that's just fine with me.
Posted by BrittRN+[/QUOTE]

I did this too. My JoP gave me about 15 different ceremony scripts and I picked and choose which vows, which ring reading, which intro etc that I wanted. My FI and I are not religious so I left out anything religious. We wanted a short ceremony which is why I did vows that were already part of a general script.

[Deleted User]

We're getting married in the Catholic church so we can't write our own vows. I don't know if we would anyway. FI seems like he wouldn't have wanted to; I might have wanted to go either way. But, as I said, moot point as we have to do the official, sacramental language

orangehills

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_vows-are-you-writing-your-own-or-going-with-your-relgionofficiantetc-standard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e1286d66-5965-4479-bb61-97517baa6676Post:1dcfda3f-8bce-475b-8675-d90e2049e112">Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?</a>:
[QUOTE]FI wants to write our own vows. I wanted traditional but it means so much to him to write our own, so we are. He is already done with his. I, on the other hand, am struggling. Here is what I have so far (hasn't changed in 3 weeks...bad case of writer's block): [FI], I remember the first time I met you...for the second time. I guess fate decided we would be a pretty cute couple. It's been an interesting 6 years, but I wouldn't change anything for the world. Everything we have been through has only strengthened our relationship. When I look at you, I still get those butterflys I felt all those years ago when I fell in love with you. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Sounds scary, but with you I'm not afraid. I promise to love you always, even during post-season...although I might not like you very much.
Posted by phoenix870509[/QUOTE]

I think this is cute! But I think I'd take out the "although I might not like you very much" and leave it at even during post season. Keeps it upbeat still. But I'd say you don't have writer's block, it sounds good!

Spunky414

Along with our friend who is officiating we've written our entire ceremony and vows ourselves. Our officiant wrote the intro and a closing himself, FI and I wrote everything else together but our vows. We agreed on a word count for the vows, wrote them separately and then shared them to make sure we were on the same page. I think FI is tweeking his a little since his read kind of like a list. 

tiny speck

We're just doing the standard vows. We got to choose between 3 or 4 options but but we didn't really modify them.

phoenix870509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_vows-are-you-writing-your-own-or-going-with-your-relgionofficiantetc-standard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e1286d66-5965-4479-bb61-97517baa6676Post:c99f3b6b-a66b-465d-a54c-2e8ce7ff6674">Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard? : I think this is cute! But I think I'd take out the "although I might not like you very much" and leave it at even during post season. Keeps it upbeat still. But I'd say you don't have writer's block, it sounds good!
Posted by orangehills[/QUOTE]

We always say we always like each other except during post-season baseball. I'm a Yankees fan and he's a Ray's fan. If I tell one of our friends I don't like FI very much at the moment they automatically say "Post-seaon?" There are a lot of baseball/football/hockey people coming to the wedding.

orangehills

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_vows-are-you-writing-your-own-or-going-with-your-relgionofficiantetc-standard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e1286d66-5965-4479-bb61-97517baa6676Post:c6327346-2ea8-4424-8bc1-f25e95579c4a">Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard? : We always say we always like each other except during post-season baseball. I'm a Yankees fan and he's a Ray's fan. If I tell one of our friends I don't like FI very much at the moment they automatically say "Post-seaon?" There are a lot of baseball/football/hockey people coming to the wedding.
Posted by phoenix870509[/QUOTE]

Ohhh that makes sense then. Lol. I think those vows are good. I majored in English so you'd think I could think of stuff to write for vows but I just couldn't for the life of me think of anything to personalize it, so I just said screw it- I'll go old school. It's really hard!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_vows-are-you-writing-your-own-or-going-with-your-relgionofficiantetc-standard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e1286d66-5965-4479-bb61-97517baa6676Post:c6327346-2ea8-4424-8bc1-f25e95579c4a">Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard? : We always say we always like each other except during post-season baseball. I'm a Yankees fan and he's a Ray's fan. If I tell one of our friends I don't like FI very much at the moment they automatically say "Post-seaon?" There are a lot of baseball/football/hockey people coming to the wedding.
Posted by phoenix870509[/QUOTE]

<div>Go Rays!  ;-)</div>

adawn1981

Traditional vows!  I don't even know what to write in a birthday card, and neither does FI!  Plus, I would cry too much   We are lazy.

phoenix870509

Okay, after a session with my MOH I think I finally finished my vows! I know I posted them on here before but now this is the finished product!

[FI], I remember the first time I met you…for the second time. I guess fate decided we would be a pretty cute couple. It's been an interesting six years, but I wouldn't change anything for the world. Everything we have been through has only strengthened our relationship. When I look at you, I still get those butterflies I felt all those years ago when I fell in love with you. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Sounds scary, but with you I’m not afraid.

 

I promise to love you always, even during post season, although I might not like you very much.

I promise to trust you, even when I do not trust myself.

I promise to respect you, honor you, and live together in mutual weirdness.

And I promise to grow old with you, cherishing each moment we share.

I, [my name], take you, [FI's name], to be my husband. Now you’re stuck with me!

bdpbride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_vows-are-you-writing-your-own-or-going-with-your-relgionofficiantetc-standard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e1286d66-5965-4479-bb61-97517baa6676Post:e9dc2d2a-549c-46d9-80a4-7a490aa7a3d9">Re: Vows - Are you writing your own or going with your relgion/officiant/etc standard?</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, after a session with my MOH I think I finally finished my vows! I know I posted them on here before but now this is the finished product! [FI], I remember the first time I met you…for the second time. I guess fate decided we would be a pretty cute couple. It's been an interesting six years, but I wouldn't change anything for the world. Everything we have been through has only strengthened our relationship. When I look at you, I still get those butterflies I felt all those years ago when I fell in love with you. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Sounds scary, but with you I’m not afraid.   I promise to love you always, even during post season, although I might not like you very much. I promise to trust you, even when I do not trust myself. I promise to respect you, honor you, and live together in mutual weirdness. And I promise to grow old with you, cherishing each moment we share. I, [my name], take you, [FI's name], to be my husband. Now you’re stuck with me!
Posted by phoenix870509[/QUOTE]

Ahh I love the 'mutual wierdness',  my fiance and I say that to each other too!

I wanted to write ours but that made my fiance nervous so we are sticking to whatever the officiant give us to say.  He did say that instead of writing our own vows, we could exchange a letter to each other that day before the ceremony and that would kind of be like our private love note/vows to each other. I liked that idea a lot and already have what I want to say almost finished up.  I cried the whole time I was writing it!

lamoeller

[QUOTE]I promise to love you always, even during post season, although I might not like you very much. I promise to trust you, even when I do not trust myself. I promise to respect you, honor you, <strong>and live together in mutual weirdness</strong>....
Posted by phoenix870509[/QUOTE]

<div>Cute vows!  I love the Dr. Suess reference - we have that quote on our wedding website. :)  The only change I'd make is instead of "even during post season, although I might not like you..." change it to "even during post-season, when I might not like you very much."  Just a grammar suggestion, but like you said - your guests know your story and will get what you mean!</div>

phoenix870509

Thanks ladies! My MOH suggested the Dr. Suess quote. I always say "I'm not crazy, I'm unique" and we are a pretty unique couple. I just hope I can get through the whole thing without crying or my voice breaking!

allychase

I have no idea what our vows are... and haven't even thought about it until right now. We went over the order of the ceremony with our pastor but haven't discussed anything else. Looks like it's time to set up a meeting with him to get down to the nitty gritty, since tomorrow marks 6 weeks til the wedding! 

I always imagined writing my own, but I KNOW I am going to be a hot mess and can barely get through vows I have to repeat let alone spill my guts about how I feel about the love of my life in front of 150 people... lol

sis180

We found some cute vows on Pinterest and will be using those.