My mom is being a little difficult... anyone else?

Blondy214

I've been working on the wording for invitations I know its a bit early, but I go back for my last semester of grad school next week, and I kind of at least want to have the order pretty much ready to go, because when the time comes to order them I'll be pretty busy.

I talked to my mom about it yesterday and she didn't like the wording that I used. I have "Together with their parents Bride and Groom invite you to ... blah blah". She wants all of the parents names on the invitations. 

FI parents and my parents are both divorced, so it makes the wording pretty awkward:

"Bride's dad and Bride's mom 

and

Groom's dad and Groom's mom

invite you to ... "

Also, FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. My mom bought my dress, and his parents have offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but other than than, we are paying for everything. I don't like the wording because it seems as if our parents are hosting and inviting people, and that is not the case. 

I tried telling my mom this but she kind of changed the subject. Sometimes she can be difficult when it comes to wedding related things. Her vision is completely different from mine.

Sorry this is so long! I kind of needed to vent. Has anyone else experienced this? Is anyone else parents or FIL trying to control certain things about the wedding?

vk2204

I would just stick with your original wording. Order them and be done with it. LIke you said, she isn't hosting and you are being pretty generous putting 'Together with their parents'. Are either of your guys' parents re-married? Like would FI's step mom be pissed her name wasn't on there and vice versa? You could use that as an argument and say it would be too cluttered?

Good luck!

joheryl

Another option would be "Together with our families"... maybe she would like that one better?

Christine9866

We are doing "Together with their families" we are also paying for our wedding and just liked the sounds of this better.

orangehills

I would stick with Together with their families/parents, don't let her talk you into changing it. My mom is paying for the entire thing and she didn't want her name listed, so she had me do Together with their parents, mainly so that invites could come to my house and she wouldn't have to give a speech if she didn't want to! (stage fright.) It's a good way to word things

Spunky414

Ditto to what everybody else said. If your mom is being difficult about all the wedding stuff limit the information you give her or only tell her after the fact.

jesslynn1012

Could you do

"Brides name,
daughter Mr. Brides Dad and Ms. Brides Mom"
and
 "Groom's name,
Son of Mr. Groom's Dad and Ms. Groom's Mom"
invite you blah, blah....? 
Or something to that effect?  Could include together with their families or not?

erbear84

Hah.  My mom said I was planning the "Worst wedding ever" so I know about difficult moms.

I was planning on doing "together with their families" on my invites.  I think it's succinct.  

ChiGirl2013

She's not paying for it, so her opinion is just that - an OPINION.  It's not a command, it's not the law, and it most definitely isn't the final say.  Word it the way YOU want it and send it off to the printer's.  She'll get over it.

tiny speck

Yeah I think "together with their families/parents" is your best bet, and if your mom isn't paying or hosting she really doesn't have the right to dictate how things are. Whatever you do, don't end up writing "Bride's Mom and Bride's Dad" on the same line like that (some goes for groom's parents) if they are divorced: the "and" linking them on the same line implies that they are married to each other, so they should be on separate lines, in the event you do decide to list all names.

Blondy214

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_my-mom-is-being-a-little-difficult-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:fcb0f82f-0ccf-4ac2-8a83-f47d9ebbb201Post:a5110b44-c6b0-4cea-b912-eb1037097507">Re: My mom is being a little difficult... anyone else?</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you do "Brides name, daughter Mr. Brides Dad and Ms. Brides Mom" and  "Groom's name, Son of Mr. Groom's Dad and Ms. Groom's Mom" invite you blah, blah....?  Or something to that effect?  Could include together with their families or not?
Posted by jesslynn1012[/QUOTE]

<div>This might be an option. I'll have to play around with the wording a little bit more. I really liked "Together with their families.." which is what I originally had. Ultimately, we're going to word it the way we (FI and I) like it and my mom is just going to have to get over it. She can just be difficult sometimes. All I really want from her is support for the decisions that I make on wedding related things, but she instead gives me her opinion and does not let up on it <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" /></div>

shipsinthenight

Ours combines the two: Bride and Groom together with their parents, Dad and Mom Bride and Dad and Mom Groom, invite you to join in a celebration of love and commitment at their wedding. Date, location, reception to follow, reception address. My parents are contributing a little less than half of the wedding budget, and fi's parents are only doing the RD, but I wanted to include both sets of parents on the invites. I didn't want a "traditional" or "formal" wording, so the parents are not listed as Mr and Mrs, but by their first and last names. I think it's a good combination of event appropriate wording and the more casual vibe we are going for. And I can't imagine anyone objecting to it. Ok, that's not true, I COULD see fi's family maybe objecting, but as they aren't paying for anything, they don't REALLY get a say. ButI feel like they'll be happy with it. And fi liked it, so that's all I really care about.

Your mom does need to get over it. And I REALLY feel like people who aren't paying for anything should butt out. FMIL, who I really like, has been the one throwing a wrench in things for us. I've written about it in other posts, but she and FFIL think we're spending too much, not being realisic, inviting too many people...But they're not contributing, so I don't see as they have any room to interfere and make fi question things we had already agreed on! I understand it comes from a place of love, but it's not helpful...

rachelm13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_my-mom-is-being-a-little-difficult-anyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:fcb0f82f-0ccf-4ac2-8a83-f47d9ebbb201Post:4d6dda9f-dcf2-47e5-ae32-16cd98bfa18d">Re: My mom is being a little difficult... anyone else?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hah.  <strong>My mom said I was planning the "Worst wedding ever"</strong> so I know about difficult moms. I was planning on doing "together with their families" on my invites.  I think it's succinct.  
Posted by erbear84[/QUOTE]

AHAHAH I am glad I am not alone!  My FMIL said something similar to me. 

We are also doing "together with their families".