Engagement Party Guest List a Wedding Guest List?

heatherfitz

I am recently engaged. I know some of my friends are throwing together an engagement party for FH and myself for sometime next month. I have no idea who is invited or who is coming.

I am planning on having a small New Orleans destination wedding. For the guest list, I am planning on inviting close family and friends. We are on a budget so they will have to cover transportation (it's about a 10 our drive from where we live) and lodging. We will cover everything else.

My question is, do I have to invite everyone who shows up to this engagement party to my wedding? Since I have no say in the matter, that hardly seems fair. I only want a handful of people at my wedding in the first place. I've read that "etiquette" says I have to, but I mean come on. I think an engagement party should be about celebrating an engagement, not making dibs on a wedding invitation.

NatMarie2689

If you have no say so in who is invited to the engagement party, then I would say you do not have to invite all those people to your wedding.  I did the opposite, I had a bridal and a couples shower where I invited close friends and family, then invited a lot more to the wedding.  I think since you are doing a destination wedding, it is perfectly OK for you to invite the number of guests you would like and can afford!  It's your day, so do it your way!  Good luck!

heatherfitz

Thank you for your input! This is all so new to me so I'm slowly trying to figure everything out, haha. And I would hate to offend anyone, but my wallet isn't endless! :P

Thanks again

sammyjames

One of my best friends is having a small destination wedding next year, and she's doing the same as you.  We're throwing her larger parties here so her family can be a party of the celebration, since most of them can't/won't be able to make it to the actual wedding itself.  I think, even if it breaks whatever etiquette rule, it's a good thing the engagement party list is longer.  As long as they realize the reality of a destination wedding (it's gonna be small), this gives them a chance to share in your wedding, even if they can't be there for the actual ceremony.  I say go for it.