Advice on Bridesmaid Drama

raven541

One of my bridesmaids is getting married two months before me. She told me her weddings colors and did not want me to use them. I met with several florists and the first words out of my month is the fact that I cant use those colors. I told my friend that I had decided on a florist, which happened to be the same one she is using for her wedding. She emailed the florist to make sure I wasnt using her colors. The florists made a mistake, looked at the wrong client, and told her my major colors were the same. My friend didnt believe me the florist was wrong and yelled at me. She said the florist had no reason to lie.

The florist has now admited to her that she did make a mistake and looked at the wrong file. However, I am highly offended and upset that she did not believe me. Needless to say damage has been done and I dont know if I even want her as a bridemaids any more. What would you do if it was your friend?

[Deleted User]

How close of friends are you? She should not be treating you this way. Is she angry that you scheduled your wedding around the same time as hers? Who chose their date first?

[Deleted User]

p.s. I think a true friend would put their own feelings aside and say they want you to chose whatever makes you happen, even if that does mean you will have the same colors.

raven541

I thought we were close friends, but apparently not since she made such accusations. She scheduled her wedding first. I was forced to move my wedding from the fall to the summer in order to allow family to attend. She said that she was fine with the wedding date.

I agree that a true friend wouldnt care. If the roles were reversed, I could care less about what she had in her wedding as long as she was happy.

However, I respected her wishes, and strictly told everyone to exclude that color. Yet she doesnt believe me.

Queen Jane

I thunk your friend is ridiculous for trying to tell you not to use certain colors, so there's that. I would try to let it go and see if it blows over, but she sounds a little cray cray.

louisianablue

There was no excuse for her to have acted this way.  I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this, but I wouldn't apologize to her.  She was kind of out of line, and I hope that she realizes that this is not a big deal.

sammyjames

She emailed the florist and asked about YOUR wedding colors??  Not to mention her reaction over the mistake...  Sheesh.  I'm sorry, hon.  She needs to realize that YOU are having a wedding too, and you should be able to have all the things you want, regardless of what she says or has for her own wedding.  As a friend, she should respect that. 

Hang in there. 

Tango19

If I was in your shoes and my friend did that to me I would tell her she is nuts because a real friend can handle the truth or at least respect what you have to say. I think if you are really that upset about it to the point where you aren't sure if you still want her as a bridesmaid then you really need to think about the repercussions of having that conversation with her. If this is a person you want in your life after your wedding day then it's worth working it out. If you don't plan on being life long friends and she's not someone you can depend on then take charge and remove the drama from your wedding and life! Good luck!

Kate504

Weddings make people crazy.

I know that it is hurtful that your friend did this, but I would take that into consideration. I would talk to her an tell her that she hurt your feelings and hope you two can get past it since you are both close friends.

carolemb

Okay. Boundries! It's none of her business what your wedding colors are and vice versa. We're not in high school anymore and getting married is not a competition.  But, weddings are super stressful and it's easy to get wrapped up in the small stuff and lose perspective. I do it all the time.
Is she a close, longtime friend that you have a history with and you think your friendship will last say 10 years down the road? If so, try to build a bridge. Talk to her from your heart. Let her know that you're hurt and that you value her friendship. If that doesn't help then maybe it's time to cut ties.

meganb1977

Agreed.  She's acting like a bridezilla and stepped WAY out of line asking the florist if you were using her colors.  Tell her you're sorry she feels that way and hurt that she didn't trust you.  Then give it time to blow over, especially if she is someone you do want to continue a friendship with.

NatMarie2689

Your wedding=your choices.  I can tell you right now that I bet there are plenty of brides around the country using her colors, so it will be nothing new to anyone!  I say use the colors you want, because you might regret it in the long run.  Your families are not going to the wedding based on colors, therefore it will not matter to them if you both use the same colors.  If she is continuing to make you more stressed, I would not want her in my bridal party.  You don't need the added stresses of someone who is being a bit ridiculous.  Weddings are so focused on the mini details now that people forget the true beauty and meaning of them.  I hope it works out for you.

NatMarie2689

Your wedding=your choices.  I can tell you right now that I bet there are plenty of brides around the country using her colors, so it will be nothing new to anyone!  I say use the colors you want, because you might regret it in the long run.  Your families are not going to the wedding based on colors, therefore it will not matter to them if you both use the same colors.  If she is continuing to make you more stressed, I would not want her in my bridal party.  You don't need the added stresses of someone who is being a bit ridiculous.  Weddings are so focused on the mini details now that people forget the true beauty and meaning of them.  I hope it works out for you.

RYLZ

She sounds ridiculous and immature. My best friend and I are getting married within a year if each other. We use one another's ideas for things with no problem or jealousy. That's what being friends is about. No one owns colors and a reasonable person wouldn't have made such a demand in the durst place. And only someone childish and outrageously immature would actually have checked with the florist. please use whatever colors you want. Wishing you a Happy wedding!

LOLways

What a wack job that she called your florist. It's not like you copied her DRESS. In your shoes I probably would've told the friend to eff off when she started flipping thinking that you "stole" her colors. Or I'd say that it was an ugly combination anyway, haha.