My Big Fat Greek Wedding

lbmsrlotr

Can anyone tell me what to expect from my Greek wedding ceremony? My fiance' is Greek, but I am not. I was told that we don't exchange vows & I'm heartbroken that we won't get to say "I DO"    

allaboutevents

The Greek wedding traditions are beautiful, but different.  I suggest you call the Orthodox church and ask them for a run down of the wedding ceremony.  You can even do this anonymously if you would feel more comfortable.

tomandmarcy

 My fiancee is also Greek and I am spanish and I actual converted over to Greek Orthodox. He is right the ceremony is not like a normal american wedding and although it is a little different the ceremony is BEAUTIFUL! It is about 45 mins long and is very spritual and is VERY meaningful. Have you been active in going to church and look into speaking to the priest regarding converting? If you attend church and look more into the religion you will come to realize that even though you dont say the " I do"s" it just a meaningful and beautiful. I promise your wedding will be gorgeous regardless. I actually watched one of his cousin's wedding on DVD and attended my soon to be bro in law's wedding in Greece (which btw my soon to be sis in law is also spanish and converted over lol ) and it help me understand and know what to expect . ...Granted it is A LOT of information to take in but as long as you have support from your soon to be hubby you will be fine.:0)

sewingdame

First things first: you have a koubaro or koumbara. they serve as the godparent/godparents of the wedding. they are to buy the lambades/decorated candles, the stefana/the crowns, pay the officiant, and buy the altar tray.

The stefana are 2 decorated crowns that are joined together by one ribbon. Until they are used, they are put on a silver altar tray that also has koufeta (jordan almonds) on it.  and the wedding rings. It is tradition to use only odd numbers in the Wedding, showing that no one but God can separate you. Also, the lambades are on each side of the altar tray to signify the everlasting light of Jesus in your union.

It is also tradition for the rings to be placed on the right hand, to show that the bride and groom are seated on the right hand of God, however, some churches now place is on the left hand because of western society.  Also, most everything is done in three's to signify the holy trinity. the ceremony is split into mainly two parts: the service of betrothal and then the sacrament of marriage

The service of betrothal: 

Prayers are said and then the priest blesses the rings, interlocks them in the shape of the 3D circle and does the sign of the cross on your foreheads with them. He will then place the groom's ring on the bride's hand and vice versa. Then the koumbaro will remove the rings from your fingers and replace them 3 times. 

The Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage:

1. Prayers are said and then the priest will join your hands together. You will remain holding each other's hand until the end of the ceremony to signify your union.

2. The Stefana: the stefana are interlocked by the priest to form a 3D type of circle. He holds them up for the entire church to see and makes the sign of the cross with them. He recites a prayer that includes your Christian name and makes the sign of te cross with them on your forehead and the same for your husband, he then hands them to the koumbaro to do pretty much what he did with the rings, exchanging them 3 times, they will rest there for the remainder of the ceremony. The Stefana are very highly treasured pieces of tradition and memories for Greeks. They are stored in beautiful boxes, called stefanokithes, to put on display in your new home. When the first spouse dies, they are buried with the couple's stefana

3. The Common Cup: The priest recites from the bible passages about the marriage from Cana at Galilee. The priest offers both the bride and groom a drink of wine from the cup three times. (some priests can be a little pushy here, not gonna lie. my one cousin said "don't get me drunk!" to out priest haha)

4. The Ceremonial Walk: aka your first steps as husband and wife. The priest holds your hands and places them between his and the bible. You walk around the altar 3 times. The tradition is that rice and flower petals are thrown at this this. some churches dont's allow it, some do. The koumbaro follows behind the bride and groom holding the stefana in place and it's usually the immediate family throwing the rice and petals. 

5. Removal of the Stefana: When the walk is done, the priest blesses the couple, removes the stefana and unjoins their hands from one anothers. he reminds them that only God can break this union. You're officially married!

I know that not having vows that you actually speak and say I do seems a little sad and upsetting to you. When I asked my priest why we don't do this, it's simply that you don't have a choice in whom God picks for you, so there's no need to say that you do or don't. That's also why we don't offer someone to speak up if they feel that this marriage isn't right, because only God can make that decision. You've already proven that "you do" by being there. 

If you really want to write your own vows and have that part of your wedding, then designate a small time between you and your husband between the ceremony and reception just for the two of you, or for your wedding party and close family to witness and read your vows to one another.