Reception Venues - HELP!! (Long)

lovelybeautiful

Hi all,

Well, first off, my mother is being incredibly obtuse and won't let me plan anything about my own wedding.
At first she said we could probably expect a guestlist of 200+...then said that she'd be willing to give me "more than enough" for a nice wedding.
So of course, I got my hopes up, thinking this could be a good amount!

Come to the day after Christmas, and we have the Official Money Talk: she's willing to give a total of $6k FOR THE ENTIRE WEDDING, plus the cost of a dress.
She wants EVERYTHING but the dress to fit into this $6k -- from ceremony & reception venue rental fees, chair/table/table cover rental fees, centerpieces, flowers, decorations, photographer, videographer, guestbook, FOOD, drinks, wedding cake, etc etc and even the hotel rooms we stay in the night before if we have it in NOLA.
Now, I am grateful that I have parents who CAN and WILL give me any money at all, but the part that's really killing me is that she refuses to allow me to add my own money to the wedding funds, and that sucks because I want just a teeny bit more than what her $6k will buy.

As for the dress budget, she wouldn't tell me how much it was, because she didn't want the budgeted amount to affect the dresses I looked at, or how I looked at dresses? wtf?  So of course, we went to David's Bridal in Slidell yesterday, and the dress I fell in LOVE with was a David's dress, for $799.  Add in the undergarments/shoes/veil/blusher/jewelry/tiara, and it comes to about $1500.
She huffed and puffed and made me feel like I must have been an idiot for even dreaming of such a thing.

THEN my matron of honor and I went to the other side of the store to look at bridesmaids dresses & colors...and mom sits there on the couch like I've kicked her dog.  Made snide comments about how she felt like she was "just along for the ride"... seriously? I've been engaged for a month, you don't think I've been looking this stuff up online every day?

THEN, omg, my FI and I had decided we want to do our ceremony in Jackson Square (lots cheaper than I expected), and she had said "Oh that sounds pretty!" but then yesterday she said it was just an awful idea and how would any of my elderly family/friends make it, and said Dad hates New Orleans and why do I want it there, blahblahblah...she kept making all these excuses.  Um, hello there's no shortage of hotels nearby, that people can seriously walk a VERY short distance to Jackson Square for my wedding! Seriously?!
She told my David's Bridal Consultant we're getting married in Picayune & having a reception in Poplarville at the Holiday Inn!

SO now my FI and I have decided that we will just pay for the whole thing ourselves.
Any ideas for decently priced reception venues in NOLA?
My entire budget is about $10K, and I'm already spending about $3200 on my photographer, but that's one thing I just can't be talked out of.
Then, I'm thinking about $1k on ceremony venue & chairs.

If ANYBODY has any tips, info, help, ideas at ALL, as far as logistics, vendors, reception venues/catering/etc....I am so open to your ideas, you have no idea.

Alert, this Knottie needs help!

*pulling hair out*

hollybee92

Christina O'Malley for flowers, and talk to Oceana for renting their big room. It's really nice, right downtown, and super affordable. Tell them Janel sent you. I would have the ceremony in the courtyard and then move upstairs for the rehearsal dinner. I had my RD there, and my wedding at the St. Louis, but I heard their minimum has gone up outrageously! Also, Rosy's Jazz Hall is very pretty!

alyss21mom

When my daughter started to plan her wedding I had a few moments of sticker shock.  One of the first things I did was to google the average cost of weddings in New Orleans - it's an eye opener!  The Knot also has a really useful budget planner too.  We realized pretty quickly that we were going to have to increase the budget in order to do what we wanted.   Maybe if you print up this info and you and your fiance figure out what you want to spend and where, then you and your mom can have a productive meeting.  My daugher's ceremony will be in Jackson Square and I think the cost for the veune is coming in just under $1000. 
Even if you don't make any headway with your mom, it will be useful so that you know where you need to be when planning. 
Good luck.

lovelybeautiful

Yeah, see she just absolutely DESPISES the idea of us doing it in New Orleans, and I can't figure out why.  "Cruisin' the Coast" will be all over our home area, the MS Gulf Coast, October 2-9, which covers both my desired date of Oct 9th, and my alternate date of Oct 2nd, and that will drive all the local prices on the coast waaaaaaaaaay up too!  I had thought of a simple beach ceremony, but do we really want random cruisers honking their horns at us or catcalling? Know what I mean?

Plus, I'll be living in Dallas by the end of this month, with my FI still trying to get a job with company HQ out there, so by the time we get married, at least one of us will be living far away, if not both.  The drawback of MS and AL is that both states have a pesky 3 day wait  between marriage license and marriage ceremony, whereas in Orleans Parish you can have that waived!  This would be super convenient to us because a 3 day wait would mean we would have to take off an extra day early before the wedding, leaving less vacation time for honeymooning...OR we'd have to make an extra trip out there sometime within 30 days before the wedding, to do the marriage license application, if we went with MS or AL.
AND, we both are in LOVE with NOLA...and I feel like this wedding is about us.
If my mother wants to call the shots, then she should do a vow renewal for herself and Dad, not take away all my input from my own special day.

That's why we're just going to pay for it ourselves.  I know she'll be mad about it but I just can't care right now.  I'm absolutely flabbergasted that she's given me all these difficult parameters, plus restrictions on adding my own money.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-venues-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:6f34e336-9ad3-4df2-9dd3-d5794388e265Post:d31ae2fc-16d4-4543-b075-e09350e9e6a3">Re: Reception Venues - HELP!! (Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]When my daughter started to plan her wedding I had a few moments of sticker shock.  One of the first things I did was to google the average cost of weddings in New Orleans - it's an eye opener!  The Knot also has a really useful budget planner too.  We realized pretty quickly that we were going to have to increase the budget in order to do what we wanted.   Maybe if you print up this info and you and your fiance figure out what you want to spend and where, then you and your mom can have a productive meeting.  My daugher's ceremony will be in Jackson Square and I think the cost for the veune is coming in just under $1000.  Even if you don't make any headway with your mom, it will be useful so that you know where you need to be when planning.  Good luck.
Posted by alyss21mom[/QUOTE]

dandywarhol

Congrats on your engagement.  Sorry to hear about your challenges with your mother.  

We got married in the courtyard of Hotel Provincial.  We had 25 guests and it cost us $300 for the ceremony.  We had a few older people in our group so having the ceremony at the hotel made it very easy for them.  After spending a few days with my 88 yo grandmother you do start to realize how difficult it can be for them to get around so the idea of a short walk (to you and me) is a lot more effort for those with mobility issues.  That said, taxis are easy to get in the FQ and made our lives a lot easier.  

Our wedding budget was 10k for 25 people and we came in just under budget.  With what you've mentioned ($3200 for photo and $1500 for dress) I think you might have difficulties getting everything you want for your budget.  You've spent almost half your budget on only two items.  It may be doable but I think you're setting yourself up for some arguments, disappointments, and exceeding your budget.  I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.  

Take a breath, sit down with your mom and FI and decide what is important to you, what you all envision, in terms of size & style, and realize you may have to compromise.  

Good luck!  

meganb1977

That's too bad your mother is being so difficult.  Agree with pp that if you get info and show her the costs at different venues it might help her to re-evaluate either her expectations or her financial contribution.  It sounds like you have logical reasons that New Orleans will work better for you so you may have a leg to stand on there as well if you explain in a calm and mature manner about the waiting periods/restrictions for marriage licenses and remind her about the challenges presented by your anticipated move.  Good luck!

lovelybeautiful

Thanks hon, this is why FI and I have decided to go with it, and pay for everything ourselves.  I reviewed the budget, realized that between the two of us, we can afford probably $20k but I'd like to keep it at no more than $15k, and based on some of the inclusive packages I've seen around...i.e., Magnolia Plantation or La Maison Creole.  I think if maybe we do the ceremony in Jackson Square and then travel a short distance to the reception, that wouldn't be too bad.  I've known people to travel 30 minutes or so to the dang reception! So like 7-9 miles driving to Metairie shouldn't be too awful. 
It's incredibly difficult to make everything fit into mom's budget, even if we did it somewhere else ... the only way I can see that budget happening is if we did something very basic, and cut out some of the traditional things (bridesmaids gifts, flowers, dance floor/DJ, etc)...and just did it on a beach and had a BBQ. But that's not me and I don't want that.  I want a wedding that's memorable, and represents who my FI and I are, as a couple, and we freaking adore the NOLA area (we especially love the Quarter and Metairie specifically haha so...Metairie for a reception feels good to me).
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_reception-venues-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:6f34e336-9ad3-4df2-9dd3-d5794388e265Post:e97a61f5-d7f0-436b-8b3c-ec1eefedfd34">Re: Reception Venues - HELP!! (Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Congrats on your engagement.  Sorry to hear about your challenges with your mother.   We got married in the courtyard of Hotel Provincial.  We had 25 guests and it cost us $300 for the ceremony.  We had a few older people in our group so having the ceremony at the hotel made it very easy for them.  After spending a few days with my 88 yo grandmother you do start to realize how difficult it can be for them to get around so the idea of a short walk (to you and me) is a lot more effort for those with mobility issues.  That said, taxis are easy to get in the FQ and made our lives a lot easier.   Our wedding budget was 10k for 25 people and we came in just under budget.  With what you've mentioned ($3200 for photo and $1500 for dress) I think you might have difficulties getting everything you want for your budget.  You've spent almost half your budget on only two items.  It may be doable but I think you're setting yourself up for some arguments, disappointments, and exceeding your budget.  I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.   Take a breath, sit down with your mom and FI and decide what is important to you, what you all envision, in terms of size & style, and realize you may have to compromise.   Good luck!  
Posted by dandywarhol[/QUOTE]