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Change of Plans (Bridal Party)

bstan7399bstan7399
First Comment
in Maryland-Baltimore

So it's always been my desire to have a kid-free wedding, with the exception of my child who is 15.  Well, my matron of honor has 2 children and so when I asked her, I also asked her kids to be a part of the ceremony (flower girl and junior groomsman) since our kids practically grew up together.

My dilemma - I now want to go back to my original idea of no kids except my daughter.  Is that okay?  How do I break the news to my MOH?  The upside - dresses and tuxedos have not been ordered yet, so there is no loss of expense on her part.

Help....want to call her soon

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Re: Change of Plans (Bridal Party)

  • bmoremeganbmoremegan
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hm. This is tough. How long ago did you ask her and how soon is the wedding? If you only asked her a couple weeks ago and the wedding's like a year away, I think you could do it. But if you asked her months ago, it's going to be tricky. I would just say, politely, that you changed your mind and want to have a smaller wedding without any other attendants. Be prepared that she may get mad/upset though. HTH!
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  • sac615sac615 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    that is a hard one..

    our son who will be 4 is in the wedding and so is FH's goddaughter who will be 5. we are inviting her grandparents too and they will take them both home when it gets to be to much. they are the only 2 kids who will be there.

    maybe just make sure there is someone who can watch them or get them early so your friend can still enjoy her self.

    good luck! :)

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  • vjcjenn1vjcjenn1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I kind of disagree with you here, if you've already asked them then you would need a better reason (in my opinion) to unask them, a better reason that I changed my mind.

     I feel like the kids themselves would have gotten excited about
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Keep them in the WP.  WP members should not be demoted, and a child like a little girl who is looking forward to being the flower girl will probably be particularly heartbroken.
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  • strawberrycrzstrawberrycrz member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm with the PP who said it's too late to unask them.  If I was little and asked to be in someone's wedding, and then was told that they changed their mind I'd be really upset about it.  I'd also be upset today if someone asked me to be a BM and then told me she changed her mind.   
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  • dawnmhaydendawnmhayden member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I also agree with pp, I think it's kind of late to change your mind now.  Maybe just draw the line with those children-don't invite any others besides the ones that are in the wedding party.
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  • bstan7399bstan7399
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for the responses.  I thought more about it after I posted the question and I have to agree with the last few posts - too late to uninvite them.  Their father will be there (not part of wedding) and so he'll be able to step in so the MOH won't have to be pre-occupied with the kids.

    Thanks again for your support.  This wedding planning is a little more stressful than I had dreamed of as a little girl.  Oh well, the end result is I get the spend the rest of my life with the man that makes me so VERY VERY happy.

    B
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