B List for invitations

cincin35

So, our rsvps are almost all in and we've had more "no"s than anticipated.  My FI wants to invite people on our B list (mostly his co-workers).  I think we should just stay put with our current headcount.Question to you is, did you have a B list, did you use it and/or how would you feel if you were invited to a wedding with only 3 weeks notice?

Bmore09Bride

I think people understand...we had a B list and then it ended up only have 3 people on it so we invited them...now as we get no's we're giving a few people who were singles who don't know people at our wedding guests and they seem to appreciate it and understand we have a large family.  I think if you call people as well as send an invite asking them personally and explaining the situation they will be fine with it...and if they are offended or can't come that's one less person you have to feed!

highdee

I'm going to disagree with pp and say that it's really in poor taste to invite someone 3 weeks out.  Though I do totally understand the purpose of having and A&B guest lists.  I think in order to really do it, you would have had to send your invites out early enough so those on the B list wouldn't necessarily know they're on the B list.

weezie825

I pretty much agree with Highdee.  I can think of very few exceptions.  Perhaps if you invited anyone without a plus one, now might be the time to contact them and let them know they can bring a date.  Or maybe if you wanted to invite the parents of your childhood best friend... But I wouldn't send out an entire batch of B list invites 3 weeks out.  I had a couple call me last minute to tell me that they wouldn't me able to make my wedding because of health issues.  I ended up inviting my grandfather's old college friend and his wife who just happened to be in town that weekend.  They totally understood that they were only invited because we had a last minute cancellation, but they were so appreciative.(Of course I wish the other 8 people that no showed would have called me.  I could have had an open call for knottie seat fillers!)

MrsNDM

I think B lists are pretty classless, people always find out they were on it and it's just shitty to make them feel like stand ins. Even with more than 3 weeks notice I would say no, send out every invitation at the same time and leave it at that. It's very, very obvious someone is an after thought when you send them an invite with only 3 weeks notice.

LauraT25

This is kinda tough.  I know I was on a B-list once and was pretty peeved - I was given a week, and was expected to book a flight and arrange a hotel.  I wouldn't have minded not being invited - I was surprised I even made the B list.  If it had been much earlier, I wouldn't have known I was B-listed because I hadn't talked to the other guests.If your co-workers already know that they're not invited because of budgetary concerns, maybe it would be ok to say, 'Hey, not all of the family could make it, we're really glad that you can come now.'  I don't know how to make that sound less tacky - but I think it would actually work with my co-workers, since they already know our wedding is pretty much family only in order for us to fit our budget, but that I wish we could invite them.  They would have a great time if they all went because they'd get to party together.  I just don't know how you could say it.

vjcjenn1

I had a kinda b list, like one person was one of my friends sisters who was just happy to come...another was a friend from college.She did say they are mostly coworkers and I think they would honestly not feel like stand ins but would feel like you had to do family and friends first...and now there is room for coworkers...I say go for it

fitzhughh

We have a B list and it mostly consists of co-workers and +1's. We decided to take care of the +1s first. We told ppl up front that we could only have a certant amt of ppl and that we had such large familys that we would need to see what family was doing first. Everyone understood. My 2 uncles cannot make it so I told my 2 friends that they could bring their boyfriends (they were not invited initially b/c we do not really know them, they do not live togeather, and they have not been dating long. So far it is working out fine.

fitzhughh

PS. Cin Cin we have the same bracelet. I love it but Im scared it will fall off...

cincin35

Thanks for your responses.  We are going to hold tight for now and not invite anyone else.  We ran a little over budget anyway and this will even us out.  Fitz- I love the bracelet!, You could probably pinch the hook/clasp closer together, I plan on wearing it tighter to my wrist.