Guests You Don't Give Gifts - So Annoying

nicole701

So its been about 3 weeks since the wedding and I believe we have all the gifts and cards accounted for and I will be working on thank-you's soon. As I we looked through our list to begin cards we had quite a few guests not bring anything!! I just find this sooo rude, I would never attend a wedding or special event and not bring anything. I know the economy is not the best but you can't scrape up $25 to put in a card?? We put so much thought and effort in planning a wedding that our guests would enjoy and for people not to bring a gift is just plain rude!! What are you ladies thoughts on this???

KSO926

Depends on the circumstances. Some people might not be able to afford to give you a gift. Its only been 3 weeks so I wouldn't write people off...you will most likely get more gifts.

FieryIrishAngel

I didn't have a wedding to get gifts.  I had a wedding to celebrate with my friends and family and they all shared in that by showing up.  Gifts were appreciated and we were very grateful, but I don't know off the top of my head who didn't give us one and would never think to sit down to compare the gift list to the guest list.I'm sure you're not, but this post makes you sound rather greedy.

rechance

I'm not sure but I think traditionally guests have up to one year to give gifts, so you may have a few more coming. As I've worked on my guest list I already have a good idea of the circumstances of some we're inviting, so I'm keeping my expectations under control. We just want to have a fun party and hope everyone enjoys themselves.

Ragdolls

I'll echo what FIA said, word for word.  I'd also try to keep in mind that attending a wedding itself can be rather expensive.It's also true that guests do traditionally have up to a year to give a gift.

blondeintgeragrl

What if people went in on a gift with someone else and you just don't know? What if it was out of stock and they are waiting for it? What if they just don't have the money? When I was in college as a wedding guest, I always hardly had money and if the wedding required me to spend the night due to distance, that was a expense enough to me! You should be having your wedding to celebrate with everyone love , not to get presents.

unionbay7

I agree w/ FIA that this post makes you sound like you got married just for some cash.That being said its been 2 months since my wedding and I just got a card in the mail last week from a guest who said they forgot to leave the card at the wedding and just found it. Things happen.  It doesn't mean your guests are rude.  You could have charged an entry fee if you wanted to make sure you got at least $25 from everyone.

Joanis018

Gifts are optional.  I once bought the gift before the wedding, forgot to bring it to the actual ceremony and then left it with the newlyweds doorman right before they moved to Atlanta.  Lives happen.Plus we got a bunch of gifts after the wedding.  DH's grandmother sent us a gift 6 months after the wedding, which happened to be the week of his birthday, so naturally I assumed it was a birthday gift.  When MIL told me a month later that they had never received a TY (I'm always very prompt with them) I told her that was Jon's job because it was his bday gift and that's when she clarified that it was a very late wedding gift.

2have2hold

I wouldn't think it's rude if a guest didn't bring gifts. I'd rather them show up to our wedding than them NOT showing up just because they didn't have $25 to give us.That being said, ditto pps about the time limit thing.

vjcjenn1

I don't think you sound greedy on the basis that you would never go to a wedding without giving a gift and I  agree with you, I wouldn't either.  I did receive gifts throughout the year after my marraige, the last gift being a cousin of ours took us out to dinner as our wedding gift months later.  In the  end, we had 1 bridemaids and one groomsmen that did not give gifts.  She traveled from England and explained she didn't give me a gift because of her travel costs.  He never said anything but his financial position kinda of goes without saying.  I may sound greedy, but I was mostly hurt not to get a card from either of these people, but we're all still very close.

MrsNDM

I don't think it's odd to know based off your guest list who didn't give you a gift, we had 1 person do this and we knew because we printed out the guest list then wrote next to it what each person gave us so we could mention the specific gift in their TY note, I don't see how you wouldn't know who didn't get you a gift? Regardless, while you wouldn't go to a wedding empty handed and I don't think anyone on this board would, it's not a requirement and right now more than ever people might not have the $25 to spare, maybe they spent extra in gas, hotel rooms, attire, etc and don't have anything additional. Did they give cards? That's what would bother me, no gift I can understand but no card is ridiculous, a simple congratulations and good thoughts can go a long way, imo.

Joanis018

Just to be fair, I know exactly who did and did not give gifts because I'm a list maker.  I made a spreadsheet of everyone who was coming, with their address and an empty box to write in the gift and another box where i would put a check mark after I wrote their TY.  So it was obvious on my list where there were a couple blank spots.  And I don't necessarily expect the BP to give gifts.  To me, their being in the wedding is plenty gift enough.

lsgarver

Times are tough and some people may be unable to give you even $10.  And it's embarrassing to be in that situation so some people just can't bring themselves to give an empty card.  I don't think they should feel that way but it definitely happens.It's disappointing to think that someone didn't think enough of your marriage to give you a card of congratulations but I really don't think that's the issue here.  People just don't have the funds they had a year ago and it's easier to not give you a gift than to forgo a week of groceries or the water bill.

fitzhughh

Im sure that your not being greedy or concerned about gifts. I agree with others that a card would be nice. It should not matter if there is money in the card. I would also not attend with out a card/gift. But also times are tough...

tmp101108

We had several guests not give us a gift.  I, too, was more hurt that we didn't even receive a card from these people.  I can totally understand the circumstances that may prevent a person from giving a gift (and we honestly didn't expect one from anyone), but I think that showing up without a card is uncalled for.Also, I was married 10.11.08, and we JUST received a gift last month from one of the above mentioned people.  As mentioned before, rule of thumb is that guests have up to a year to give a gift.Take it for what the day was - a celebration of your marriage!  Thank your guests for sharing in your joyous day, whether or not they gave you a gift.

biensoul

Be sure to still write a thank you card to them for attending anyway.