Maryland-Baltimore

Alcohol Situation--kinda long

I know this has probably been brought up time and time again and I even checked the earliest post before I typed this and didn't see anything.My parents are paying for the reception, which includes beer and wine in the catering price.  My FI and I were going to pay for open bar, but with my mother's ever growing list, we can't afford it now, unless we hit the lottery.  We would pay for open bar for anyone over 21, and half of the people my mom is inviting are not drinkers (I know this from growing up around them)Our venue is being VERY particular...will discuss in vendor reviews after the wedding...and will not let us bring in any outside alcohol, which I understand and are giving us the option or cash bar or a bar tab.  They won't even let us do one signature cocktail or something like that.Our dilema (sp?) is that we are either going to go cash bar or just stick with the beer and wine.  Cash bar seems like we are cheapos, but it's a rough time right now with money!I know ultimately the decision is ours, but I would like to have a little bit of help from fellow knotties as to which direction I could take.  That way it'll be easier when we do the final sit down with these people.TIA and Sorry so long!
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Re: Alcohol Situation--kinda long

  • ruffian99ruffian99 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you haven't considered this/talked to your caterer about it, what about a consumption bar? That means your caterer would run it like a cash bar, but instead of having people pay their own tabs, he would run one long tab to give to you at the end of the night. The great thing about this is your guests think it is open bar, but you don't have to pay a huge per person fee for people who don't even drink. If your crowd is lots of not drinkers you will definitely come out ahead this way. Also, if you do a consumption bar, you can do a few things to save money. You can limit it to rail drinks (or whatever brands you choose) or you can set a max $ amount, so that the bar simply closes (or converts to a cash bar) when you reach your preset tab amount. And, there is NO reason your caterer shouldn't let you do this--every caterer I met with was open to this option. Its really pretty standard. I hope this helps!
  • edited December 2011
    The caterer did say something like running a tab.  I thought this was a GREAT idea, but my always worrying FI said what if the bartender adds a couple extra tally's.  Then of course I think yeah what if!! lol   I am getting super anxious about EVERYTHING so he helped add to the list.We are mailing out invites today (!!!) So I think I am going to wait until we find out a final count to make a decision.  I agree with PP about people coming out and bringing a gift and then having to pay for drinks.  I just feel like I am in a pickle and hate making decisions.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would opt for just beer & wine over a cash bar. I am just not a fan of the cash bar idea.  Beer and wine is perfectly fine!
  • bethybeachbethybeach member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would be concerned over the beer and wine thing depending on your guests.I know the liquor would be missed at my wedding so you really have to think about your guests and what they drink before you make the decision.I would be a little nervous about the per drink option but it may be the way to go in your situation.  But your caterer is a professional they shouldn't be cheating you.
  • edited December 2011
    I think cash bars are the owrse i am sorry. In this day noone carries cash but my dad. Go with Beer and wine. We are in a similar situation so we are not serving alcohol at all. I think  beer and wine is the best answer and you are being very nice.
  • MereFM99MereFM99 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd go with beer and wine.
  • edited December 2011
    I'd go with beer and wine or the consumption idea. We have been to weddings which were beer and wine only, and then if we wanted to pay extra for shots or drinks not beer and wine we could- and many people actually did... which makes me think you should go for the consumption bar. We have also been to weddings where it was beer and wine and then rail liquors- which I'm thinking must have been a consumption bar. While both of those weddings were very enjoyable (in comparison to weddings with a full open bar), it was kind of a pain to have to pay. But I'd avoid the cash bar altogether if I could.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would go with the beer and wine. I know most people who drink liquor usually drink beer or wine too. I went to a wedding with a cash bar and overheard people making rude comments.
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