Venue Complications

jflanigan

So, I'm having some venu agnst lately. We finally got the owner of the restaurant where we're planning our wedding to sit down with us and discuss set up and timing and everything. all was well until we talked about the ceremony set up. There would be no real aisle for me to go down and there would be a half wall between the guests and the ceremony. That and the fact that the owner doesn't want to have a contract (he thinks it's bad luck) is really bothering me. I mean, I trust him and I know he's done weddings there before, but I'm just worried.

So maybe I'm being a bit bridezilla, I don't know. But I talked to my fiance a bit and we're trying to figure out how to handle it. Do we accept the venue as is and try to get him to draw up a contract? Do we have the ceremony elsewhere and keep the reception there? Or do we pick a new venue that's more picturesque and can offer more of the ceremony site I had hoped for?

I know some ladies here looked at the Vandiver Inn and had issues there because they require music to stop by 9 PM, but with an earlier Sunday wedding that's not really an issue. I guess I'm looking for some advice on our issues and maybe some people who have used the Vandiver or been to a wedding there so we have more information.

iamsteph

Sometimes you just have to work with what you're given at a venue (aka walls, pillars, etc).  If you think that in 20 years, you're going to go 'Wow, everything was perfect EXCEPT for that wall", then you could always look around a bit more to see if you like something better.

It's odd that he won't sign a contract though.  It's as much as for his protection as it is for yours -  he wouldn't want you to back out day of, and have already bought all the food, and you wouldn't want to settle on a price, and then day of him tell you it's twice as much.  

jflanigan

That's not even the half of it. I mean, those are the reason I'm freaked out about it. But my Day of Coordinator is really anxious over it and says if we don't get a contract I may have to sign additional paperwork with her to cover her legally in case something goes wrong with it. That threw me over the edge and I asked my fiance to go work with him on it. He hasn't gotten to him yet, but 'm also upset over the aisle and the wall, and now I'm just confused. Ugh.

bkeithley

I agree with PP..there are too many venues out there to just settle for something you are unhappy about. I especially would not deal with a company that refused to have a contract signed proving in writing what you have paid for.

jflanigan

In Erik's defense, we do know the owner and we haven't paid a deposit. He says taking a deposit is bad luck because the only deposit he ever took for a wedding ended with the wedding being called off. We do know him personally and we do trust him. But even still, it makes me jumpy. So if he doesnt want a deposit, that's fine. But I still want some kind of contract.

Ginabean2011

My advice is that you need a contract. If it's not in the contract, the conversation did not happen (legally). For me, this is an event that is way too important to trust a vendor that I don't personally have experience with. On top of that, it doesn't come across as very professional for them to refer to contracts and deposits as "bad luck".

EricsBlushingbride

We went to the VanDiver over the weekend to see about doing a weekend get-away before our wedding with everyone, After meeting with the guy yesterday, He told us up front he wanted 20 percent which is non-refundable, Which is OK with us, because this is what we want to do, Then I was going to ask if anyone had used them, then saw your post, Well it even says on there site 20 percent due on contract signing, Maybe I am confused, But I do know some that had told us locally to stay away from there, Because of the price Subject to change thing, I also don't know if we want to pay 7500.00 for 8 rooms either, Which is like a car payment just for a weekend in July.  

jflanigan

I'm lost, how would you be paying $7500 for 8 rooms? At $125 a room it's $1000 (+ tax and any surcharges) for 8 rooms for the night. Also, the 20% deposit seems pretty normal to me.

Anyway, we're meeting with them on Wednesday. But if we end up having to guarantee the rooms, the place is out of our reach. I can promise 5 occupied rooms the night of the ceremony (and 3 on the Friday before, 4 on the Saturday before) but no more. We're a Sunday wedding so they're a bit less clear about that being mandatory. I figure we have some wiggle room. We're also doing an earlier ceremony since it's a Sunday so we could potentially end it by 7, although I'd prefer not to.

EricsBlushingbride

On there site it has all the mimiums that we had to follow, The gentleman there acted as if that was the price when we were there, also it was because it is a July weekend, That is what we were told, but we are going another route, after seeing your post it just confirmed, but also we have not got the paper work from them as of yet either.

jflanigan

Oh! Yes there site does say there's a $7,500 minimum for Saturday weddings. The rooms can count towards it, but it's not all in the rooms. That minimum is for the whole event.

Did you like the grounds and spaces and all when you visited?

EricsBlushingbride

It was Ok , I loved the rooms for everyone to stay in, but I couldn't have my wedding there, We have to many people, I didn't like the fact of the alley area there, But maybe because it was Saturday.Wishing all the best on your event.

weezie825

Since you personally know the owner of the restaurant I would keep the reception there.  However, I would conside using a different location for the ceremony. 

Also, My mom always said that I could blame anything I wanted on her and my dad.  (IIE in highschool if I didn't want to go to a party, soory my parents won't let me.)  I don't know your financial situation, but you could easily blame you "need" of a contract on your parents.

Tell you friend, "DF and I trust you implicitly, but my parents are paying for the wedding and they are insisting that we get a signed contract.  I understand that you believe that it is bad luck, but they won't budge.  If you won't draw up a contract for me, my parents are going to forcxe me to pick a new location, which I really don't want to do."

Yes, it is lying and essentially guilting the person into it, but I think if you love the reception venue that it is worth it in the end.

smange10.10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maryland-baltimore_venue-complications?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:85Discussion:f7f855cc-e74a-411c-bc57-7880086b555dPost:e9521d5d-ec94-43ae-a328-a42b62a1c07e">Re: Venue Complications</a>:
[QUOTE] Also, My mom always said that I could blame anything I wanted on her and my dad.  (IIE in highschool if I didn't want to go to a party, soory my parents won't let me.)  I don't know your financial situation, but you could easily blame you "need" of a contract on your parents. Posted by weezie825[/QUOTE]

my parents always told me the same thing!  i think that's a great idea weezie.

SweetCFly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maryland-baltimore_venue-complications?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:85Discussion:f7f855cc-e74a-411c-bc57-7880086b555dPost:e66cb1cd-cf19-4aa9-8690-b1c459f45e65">Re: Venue Complications</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Venue Complications : my parents always told me the same thing!  i think that's a great idea weezie.
Posted by smange10.10[/QUOTE]

ha that's funny- my parents never told me I could, but I was constantly using it because my mom was such a momzilla the whole planning process!  It really is a great excuse and it makes you feel a little more sane! 

lindsayrhae52

The limitations of the venue suck, but I would absolutely not feel comfortable without a contract! That is so important for both parties involved. It kinda worries me that he doesn't want to have a contract drawn up and signed. That just seems shady to me. I would start looking at other places. Thats just my opinion.  No contract doesnt sit well with me. Good luck!