Sister/MOH Troubles

MeganL2022

I asked my sister to be the maid of honor for my wedding in December (New Years Eve wedding, woo!) and now I'm kind of regretting it.

Ever since she got home from college (she's 19), she's been nothing but bratty and self-centered. She hasn't helped at all with wedding planning and on top of that sent this really nasty text to me today that is seriously making me reconsider having her as my maid of honor. At this point it would almost be better NOT to have anything but bridesmaids. She could maybe be a bridesmaid, but I don't know. At this point I'm at a loss.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? I'd really appreciate them!

prettycapri314

I ws having similar problems with my big sis.  Since I'm the little sister, I asume it is kind of hard for her seeing all the attention on me and my wedding... But after a few weeks of akward silence, I finally talked to her about how she ha been acting towards me adn the wedding and now everything is ok.  So, my advice would be to talk with your sis and let her know how you feel.  Also, as her about how she feels about everything, and make sure you express to her how much you value her input with planning the wedding. Communication is key!

angiems97

Yeah.  I agree with pp.  Also, she might just be immature.  I was in my friend's wedding and her younger sister was MOH and was just immature and didn't know what to do.  It was the first wedding I was in too so I wasn't sure either, but everything worked out. 

fam6

You have already asked, so I don't think you can really take it back.  You might go to one of your bridesmaids that is more mature and responsible and ask if they would mind planning things and taking a lead position even without the title.  Hopefully your friend would be happy to help you during your planning instead of worry about a title issue.  And in the grand scheme of life, you will probably be glad that you had your sister stand up with you.  Also, you could try talking to her and telling her how important she is to you and how glad you are that she is standing up with you and maybe it will help her put it into perspective and take it more seriously.

maryandkirk0909

19 is kind of a selfish age in general- so I don't think your sister is deliberately behaving this way to you because of the wedding.  At that age you go off to college and start to develop your own identity outside of your family- and she may feel as if the wedding is pulling her back into the role that she has already served so many years and as a result have some resentment.

I think you need to take her to lunch, sit her down, and discuss how important it is for her to be there with you- nothing else.  Don't threaten to take away her title- that is just childish- there is a reason you asked her to be MOH in the first place.  Unless she is stringently objecting to her standing position for an hour (which I seriously doubt), she'll be fine day of.  

My sister was 20 when she was my MOH and she didn't do anything.  One BM threw my shower, another threw my bachelorette party, and they were happy to be part of my big event and the planning that led up to it.  I consider myself lucky and have especially wonderful friends, but I'm guessing you have one or two exceptional friends yourself.  Just sit down with them and ask them to take on certain things that would more traditionally be a MOH's responsibility.  It won't be a big deal to them I'm sure either.  

triciakos

Check out this group - can help tremendously with planning your wedding and saving you time as well:

http://www.meetup.com/STL-and-Metro-Brides-To-Be/