My fiance & I recently started wedding planning. We have very few details firmed up, but our first chosen task was to ask our wedding party potentials if they would be a part of our day.
I asked one of my friends to be in my wedding party, and her response was "....really?" Not a "really?!", but a ".....really?", like I was asking her if she would care to lick my shoe. It was a really uncomfortable pause after that, so I told her that she didn't have to answer right then, and tried to give her an easy out to say 'no' by saying that I totally understand that being a bridesmaid is a lot of time and hassle, and I wouldn't be insulted or offended in the least if she declined. She ended it on something along the lines of "Ask me again when you have a set date" and rambled into something along the lines of a begruding "I'll be there for you if you need me".
Today, she sent an email saying she realized she may have been rude, and she would TOTALLY be in my wedding. Here's the thing: I would have been very understanding if she wasn't up to the time and money that goes into being in a wedding party. Her lukewarm begruding ok was much more awkward. My feelings & pride were hurt, and now I'm in the awkward position of having someone in the party who doesn't seem to want to be there. I'd much rather have a 'no' so that I could have asked one of my other friends who would have been excited, or at the very least, faked it.
Is there anything I can do? Am I stuck with a barely willing bridesmaid, or is there anyway I can get out of this with tact?