August 2013 Weddings

Bridesmaid question

So I have a problem- one of my bm is experiencing severe money problems and just told me she doesn't think she'll be able to afford being in the wedding. This is a close friend of mine from middle school. I'd like her to be in... but I'd like some advice from all you ladies.
Should I pay for her dress/shoes and forgo hair/mu for her? She wouldn't be able to contribute to the bachelorette or bridal shower. Is that fair to the other girls?
Or should I not have her in it but have her involved in another way as a reader or something?
I need your suggestions/advice. Thank you in advance!!!
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Re: Bridesmaid question

  • I would definitely ask to be involved in another way. One of my BMs told me she can't afford hair & makeup and I really thought about offering to pay - but it is totally unfair to the other BMs.
    I would incorporate her in some way throughout the day & definitely ask for her to get ready with the rest of your party that AM.
    Good Luck!
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  • I'm making hair and makeup optional for everyone, but not paying for it. If you did that, I think it would be okay to discreetly help her with the dress, assuming she's a great friend who is sincere about her difficulties and you can't imagine getting married without her. I wouldn't worry about the shower and bachelorette; I know in my case not all of my BMs will be contributing equal time or money there either. Good luck!
  • Can you do mismatched bridesmaid dresses so potentially everyone could wear something they already own or something they're planning to buy anyway? 

    I think you should still have her be  BM. I really think it would be okay to offer to pay for her dress. I am not requiring hair and makeup of any of my girls. IDK I just think it's ishty to let money get in the way of one of your nearest and dearest standing up with you. 
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  • Can you make her budget work at all? I am with emeejeeayen on this one. Mismatched dresses are a great way to go (This is what I am doing) hair and makeup is not mandatory.


  • In Response to Re:Bridesmaid question:
    I'm making hair and makeup optional for everyone, but not paying for it. If you did that, I think it would be okay to discreetly help her with the dress, assuming she's a great friend who is sincere about her difficulties and you can't imagine getting married without her. I wouldn't worry about the shower and bachelorette; I know in my case not all of my BMs will be contributing equal time or money there either. Good luck!
    Posted by Xstatic3333
    this!
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    March siggy:THE DRESS
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  • ok I think that's what I'll do then - I'd definitely rather have her standing by my side and participating in everything than just sitting as a guest.. we've been close friends since middle school. Thanks so much for your advice girls! (This sounds cheesy but everytime I have a wedding concern I always think to post it here first b/c you all are so helpful!)
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