Wedding Shower

elff20

Do the groomsmen have to attend the wedding shower? I know the groom does. Let me know. Thanks

sunkissed212

No,the groomsman don't have to attend the shower. Matter of fact, the groom doesn't even have to attend. It's all a matter of preference I think.  My FI will be at both of our showers (and actually wants to be! Love him), and a few of the GM's may come too just to hang out but they are not required to be there. It will be nice that there will be some additional muscle to help load things up at the end of the showers though.

Julz629

No one HAS TO attend the shower.  I requested FI to attend the one for his side since they know him better and I'm sure they'd like to see him.  He wants to attend the one with my side because it's at our favorite Italian restaurant, LOL.

Personally, I would never even consider asking the groomsmen to attend.  I feel like that would be torture to them.  Andy doesn't mind attending, but it's definitely not something he's dying to attend.  But I feel like the groomsmen would be miserable!

Andy likes to joke with his brothers (both best men) that they are invited, but in reality...I know they would have a fit if they had to come.

cmkuno

The trend of the groom attending the shower is pretty recent.  I really don't think anyone will thinks its weird if he's not there.  Unless you're having a Jack and Jill, or couples, shower, I think it would be totally weird for the groomsmen to be there.  

My FI attended the shower for his side since I hardly knew anyone there, and he actually had a nice time visiting with his extended family.  The shower for my side was really small, I knew everyone, and my grandma is very old fashioned and thought it would be strange for any man - even the groom - to be there.  So he didn't attend.  My point is, it's optional!  

sinnedambition

This was a HUGE issue with my In Laws and my family. Traditionally the Bridal shower is for the Bride to help her prepare the home for her husband to be.

I didn't have a Wedding Shower, I had a BRIDAL shower so no men were invited. Fi came at the very end (and LATE due to his wonderful groomsmen...grrr) to say thank you and help load gifts.

My future in laws are not currently speaking to us due to the fact that he wasn't invited. They were rude and obnoxious at the shower. It created a lot of tension and drama that isn't necessary and is being carried on to this day. (ie. Fi's ENTIRE family is going up north this weekend to his grandma's cottage...we weren't invited.)

The point is, do what you want and what the host of the shower feels is appropriate, just be prepared for someone to get mad.

Gwenwhyfare

Our first shower was a "family" shower where men (including FI) were invited. The shower my Mom is hosting will be just women. I think the men will be doing something else while the shower is going on, then joining us towards the end to meet/greet/thank everyone.

a2joy

No.  I highly doubt my fiance will attend himself.

Julz629

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c4fac65-29fa-4604-91c9-d8281561741bPost:743d0be3-1428-448d-971a-5ac55e100a92">Re: Wedding Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]This was a HUGE issue with my In Laws and my family. Traditionally the Bridal shower is for the Bride to help her prepare the home for her husband to be. I didn't have a Wedding Shower, I had a BRIDAL shower so no men were invited. Fi came at the very end (and LATE due to his wonderful groomsmen...grrr) to say thank you and help load gifts. My future in laws are not currently speaking to us due to the fact that he wasn't invited. They were rude and obnoxious at the shower. It created a lot of tension and drama that isn't necessary and is being carried on to this day. (ie. Fi's ENTIRE family is going up north this weekend to his grandma's cottage...we weren't invited.) The point is, do what you want and what the host of the shower feels is appropriate, just be prepared for someone to get mad.
Posted by sinnedambition[/QUOTE]

This is ridiculous and I can't imagine a group of grownups would behave/react this way.

JandBFall2010

I agree. I can't believe his family would act like that over something so silly.

corinne2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c4fac65-29fa-4604-91c9-d8281561741bPost:743d0be3-1428-448d-971a-5ac55e100a92">Re: Wedding Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]This was a HUGE issue with my In Laws and my family. Traditionally the Bridal shower is for the Bride to help her prepare the home for her husband to be. I didn't have a Wedding Shower, I had a BRIDAL shower so no men were invited. Fi came at the very end (and LATE due to his wonderful groomsmen...grrr) to say thank you and help load gifts. My future in laws are not currently speaking to us due to the fact that he wasn't invited. They were rude and obnoxious at the shower. It created a lot of tension and drama that isn't necessary and is being carried on to this day. (ie. Fi's ENTIRE family is going up north this weekend to his grandma's cottage...we weren't invited.) The point is, do what you want and what the host of the shower feels is appropriate, just be prepared for someone to get mad.
Posted by sinnedambition[/QUOTE]

What is the difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower?

Your FIL's need to relax a bit! I'm sorry you are going through something like this so close to the wedding. Its very immature of them.

corinne2010

Like pp said, no one HAS to attend. Not even the bridesmaids. Of course you'd think they would want to, but crazy things happen. Anyway, the groomsmen do not need to attend. It's unnecessary for them to be there. FI came to the shower towards the end to open gifts and he wanted to be there because the gifts were not just for me, they were for him as well! The best man came at the very end to help load stuff up, but he offered to come and help. If he didn't call, we wouldn't have asked. We had plenty of help.

ekathleen684

It all depends on the couple I think. FI was in his friends WP and the bride made the entire BP attend. It was women only and the groomsmen were there basically to be waiters for the attendees. FI hated it and told me he refused to sit through another one, ours included. I don't want to make FI sit with a bunch of woman but I would like him to stop by towards the end to thank everyone (and pack the stuff in the truck, tehe).

Kelki

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c4fac65-29fa-4604-91c9-d8281561741bPost:b7b1e047-7503-4a6d-aba0-cf5aa9f2a04a">Re: Wedding Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Shower : This is ridiculous and I can't imagine a group of grownups would behave/react this way.
Posted by jholbel[/QUOTE]

This!  My FI's family is still not speaking over his cousins wedding last May.  His mom and grandparents are always complaining about it and don't want to sit with them at our wedding.

cmkuno

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c4fac65-29fa-4604-91c9-d8281561741bPost:743d0be3-1428-448d-971a-5ac55e100a92">Re: Wedding Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]This was a HUGE issue with my In Laws and my family. Traditionally the Bridal shower is for the Bride to help her prepare the home for her husband to be. I didn't have a Wedding Shower, I had a BRIDAL shower so no men were invited. Fi came at the very end (and LATE due to his wonderful groomsmen...grrr) to say thank you and help load gifts. My future in laws are not currently speaking to us due to the fact that he wasn't invited. They were rude and obnoxious at the shower. It created a lot of tension and drama that isn't necessary and is being carried on to this day. (ie. Fi's ENTIRE family is going up north this weekend to his grandma's cottage...we weren't invited.) The point is, do what you want and what the host of the shower feels is appropriate, just be prepared for someone to get mad.
Posted by sinnedambition[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is CRAZY!  I am so sorry you have to deal with this!  You're right, the tradition is no men at the shower.  I know it's common now for the groom to come, but if he was fine with not coming, why on earth would his family make such a big deal about it?  I hate to see what they'll do when you have a real controversy some day...  Good luck with those in laws!  
</div>

alarthame

I told FI that I would like him there since the gifts would be for the both of us. But it was up to him. Our Best Man came too, to keep FI company and because he was dating one of the BMs and his mom was invited. It just kinda made sense that way. (Plus, he let us dress him up in tp and tissue paper!).

I would say they do not HAVE to come and neither does your FI, but it's nice if he's there at least to say thanks.