Michigan-Detroit
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Bparty Question

So last night my MOH called and wanted to discuss the bachelorette party with me..  She was telling me her plan and  ended it with ' the bridesmaids and you can all stay at myplace.'   and i asked, well what about the out of town girls?  THeir not going to drive two hours home after partying, and  IMO they shouldnt have to fork out $80 for a hotel room.   'well finding them a place to stay the night isn't my problem.' is what she said.  i was always under the impression that if you have guests coming from far away like that you find a place, wether its crashing at the house where the pre party was or the hotel the preparty was and the splitting the cost.    At least, that's how its been at all the bachelorette parties i've been to.    She got pissy and told me she couldnt afford to do that.. I said i dont expect you to pay for it. but i thought it was crappy to  do that to my friends.  and then she says well ow many of these people will honeslty come down two weekends in a row for you.  Ouch.I mean some probably wont.  But still. Ouch.WHat do you think?   should the out of towners be left to fend for themselves?
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Re: Bparty Question

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    edited December 2011
    Awww, that sucks that she said that to you. The only out of town b-party I went to was 3 hours away and the cost of the room was included in it, which is one of the reasons why I went.  If I had to find my own hotel or something, I doubt I would have gone because that gets pricy...
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    TruchanaTruchana member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hmm...well yes, i'd say it would be nice for her to allow them to stay the night at her place unless there is a ton of them.  I've never heard of just the bridesmaids.  On the other hand, if there are 20 girls, that's a lot to expect out of someone.  In that case, I think she just needs to give them some info on hotels.  Could you instead have the out of towners stay at her place and let the bridesmaids fend for themselves if they are from the same time town or could possibly stay somewhere else?  I just had mine and some people stayed at my house and some at one of the bridesmaid houses.  Honestly, I was drunk, so the end of the night is a blur.  It's not like you will all sit around until 5am talking or something.
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    cindaycinday member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think she should be obligated to have everyone stay at her house, but it would have been nice if she found a hotel nearby for people to stay at. She could have offered a few hotel rooms to everyone when she told the girls about the party. How many girls are invited?
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    RachelCheetahRachelCheetah member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How many OOT girls do you think will be staying? Can a hotel room somehow be included in the cost of the BParty contribution, if any? For mine, my MOH and BM asked $30 from each participant which included transportation to the bars, champagne punch and snacks at the hotel room, and the option to stay in the room if they wanted. The room slept 6 and we had 6 stay, but I think about 10-12 girls came to the BParty. If all wanted to stay, we'd have been wondering what to do about sleeping, but it happened to work out OK. I didn't think $30 was a lot to ask, but I think even $50-$75 is still fairly reasonable to ask people to contribute depending on what you are doing and whether or not a hotel is included.    
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    edited December 2011
    She has a huuuuuuuge house--- But i wasn't expecting her to open it up to everybody.  It's just like..  you have a 2400 (give or take a few hundred) sq ft house and youll only let five people stay?About 20-25 are invited.  Realistically 15 may come.  and of that about 5 are from the area
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    ejayejay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would let her know that with so many girls coming from out of town they really need a place to stay. If she can't let people crash at her house could they possibly sleep at yours? If so then you should just politely tell her that she needs to have the end of the night end at your house so everyone gets there safe. But yeah I agree with you, OUCH!
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    edited December 2011
    That was pretty rude.  Usually at b-parties I know of, the MOH's take all the guests invited and come up with an amount that each girl should chip in to stay at a suite or hotel room.  If someone is offering up their house knowing that there are one or two people coming from OOT they usually offer it up to the OOT people as well, then the rest of the group can go home or do what they please.
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    mardoll10mardoll10 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think she should be obligated to have everyone stay at her house, but it would have been nice if she found a hotel nearby for people to stay at. She could have offered a few hotel rooms to everyone when she told the girls about the party.I completely agree with this.  At this point, I would just make sure any OOTers know what the deal is.  I don't think it's unreasonable that they have to fend for themselves, but they need to know in advance that this is going to be the case so they can either make arrangements or decline the invite.  And yeah, what she said about doubting many people would come was just plain mean.
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