Michigan-Detroit
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Babies at Wedding

Soooo... this is going to sound terrible and will probably change, but I have to say it. I pretty much hate babies. They drool, they throw up, and they scream and cry. And I hate it. So, I thought I was going to skate by with no babies cause my cousin who just had one can't come. Then, I find out that my cousin from AR is coming up here for the wedding and bringing her 14 month old. Now, I didn't say no kids on the invite (cause I thought it might be a little rude to write in big letters NO BABIES), but I'm kinda leary about having them there and keeping them quiet. So I got the email saying they were coming (cause apparently they all suck at RSVP cards) and I want to mention something. So do you think this is appropriate or should I just suck it up and let them bring the baby without saying anything? Is there something different I should say?"As far as the children, we have a chicken tenders and fries plate available for them, which I'm sure the 8 year old will love, but will the 14 month old be able to eat solid foods? Also, is the 14 month old well-behaved? The church has a loud echo and I just want to make sure that everyone will be able enjoy the ceremony."
~*~ Shauna & Patrick ~*~ 9/5/09 ~*~
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Re: Babies at Wedding

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    beersnobbeersnob member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OK since they are travelling so far you can't really tell her no. You could maybe find a sitter. Unless she is a crazy peron like my sister in law who wont leave her daughter who is also 14months home with the baby daddy even. Anyway she is a nut and whatever. I didn't want kids at mine either but to be honest, after dinner I ran around so much I didn't even notice they were there. Just ignore and enjoy your day. I totally agree though b/c the way I see it noone really watches their kids as they feel like they are in a safe enviroment. Peole are stupid. DH had kids on his side. I didn't invite mine since my family all pretty much feel the same it's not a place for kids. Drinks sitting all around and things. But when they are out of town it is really an issue saying no since they might not have anyone to watch them
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    edited December 2011
    I hear you that with the baby in the church. It sucks but they aren't local and unless you can find a sitter the baby might be at your wedding. You didn't put no kids on the ivite and I think that leaves it open. I dont hate babies, I have a two year old who is going to be at our wedding and the only other two kids that are going to be at the reception are my nieces. I will be giving them the speech of when the girls start acting up they have to take them out and have them calm down.
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    mollylovesumollylovesu member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I completely understand, and unless you can get a sitter for her since she is out of state... I would say the dumb baby has to come! Just pray for no tears and hellacious screams that echo into the bell tower etc!
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    moeoscarmoeoscar member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with not having children on the invite. I don't think just b/c you didn't put the "no kids" clause that people can bring their kids, it's all about who's name is written on the invitation. But that's just my little soap-box moment.Anyway, since she is coming all the way from Arkansas, I would let her bring the kids. I don't think it's appropriate of you to flat out ask if the 14-month-old is well behaved. I think you just need to make it clear that you expect a peaceful ceremony without interruptions.
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    edited December 2011
    dont they come with a muzzle? (i kid, i kid) i'm actually going through the same thing! it just really sucks because A) AND FAMILY was not included on the invitation & B) my invitation clearly states adult only reception....while i know the ceremony is not the reception, point A) overrules everything else! :) if i hear the slightest peep out of the babies im going to be pretty mad... especially since our church is very echo-y too
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    alarthamealarthame member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with this issue. The invite only had her and a guest. She is originally from here, and is trying to move back, but they are having some baby mama drama with the 8yr olds bio mom. I think the only ones who she'd feel comfortable with them watching the baby are all going to be at the wedding anyway. It's funny, cause FI said flat out no when I read the email to him. And her mom apparently asked my mom about it at the shower and my mom told her a flat out no too. But I would feel like such an azz just saying, "I know you're driving all the way here from AR, but you're gonna have to find somewhere else to keep that thing during the ceremony." But I really hate crying babies and parents who don't control them. And I don't mind so much that they are at the reception, but the ceremony is kind of important. Ugh... maybe I can have someone who is opinionated kind of keep an eye out for the crying baby and ask for her to step out and calm them down before re-entering. 
    ~*~ Shauna & Patrick ~*~ 9/5/09 ~*~
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    eclipsethecateclipsethecat member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kevin's sister INSISTED on bringing the baby to the church ( I think mostly to tick me off,) and she was in the basement of the church with her father during the ceremony. Maybe you can figure an option like this out? And yes, you would hear a baby crying, despite what everyone tries to tell you, OH YOU WILL BE SO FOCUSED ON YOUR HUSBAND. I heard a cell phone go off and for a minute I was PISSSED.
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    alarthamealarthame member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was just thinking about cell phones and was wondering if we should have the pastor/cooridnator mention something about this before we begin. I swear, if I hear one cell phone during the ceremony, that person is going to get such a look of death that they will wish they had RSVP'd no.
    ~*~ Shauna & Patrick ~*~ 9/5/09 ~*~
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    edited December 2011
    If anything just tell her nicely that you would greatly appreciate her stepping outside with baby if he/she starts fussing/acting up duirng the ceremony because you don't want it to ruin the moment. 
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    eclipsethecateclipsethecat member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think one of the groomsmen made an announcement to that effect. It was short but I definitely heard it and it made me really really angry.
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    edited December 2011
    We had a 6 month old at ours because his parents came all the way from Hong Kong.  At one part of our video, I heard him cry, but I didn't notice it the day of...and our church is huge, with an echo.They also brought him to the reception and our friends parents watched him...kind of.  I was pretty adamant about not having a baby at the head table (the dad was a GM) and they kind of followed it, but not really.  All in all, I didn't really notice until seeing pictures or the video.  He was not the only kid, we had around 12 kids under 12 at our wedding.If you didn't specify adult reception, there is nothing you can really do...especially since they are coming from out of state.  I would not ask them if he is well behaved.  I would just say something to effect that there is a cry room or parish center or whatever, for her to go to if and when the baby gets figedty during the ceremony.
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    amberdawkinsamberdawkins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    People with babies always act like their baby isn't THAT loud when they start crying. YES your baby is loud and YES he or she is disturbing everyone around them! (I work in a restaurant and you would be amazed at how many people stay seated at the table while their baby screams and screams!) I would have an usher or hostess on hand to escort them out of the sanctuary if they start crying.
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    edited December 2011
    I've never been in a church that didn't have a cry room for parents to take their children when necessary. Some even have speakers so the people can still hear the mass (or in your case the ceremony).If your church has one than that would be the best place for her and her darling baby. Perhaps mention to her that you will be making an exception for her due to her coming from out of state and explain to her about concern for the ceremony. At 14 mos that kid will be babbling too so it may not be crying you hear, just some kid yammering on nonsense.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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    edited December 2011
    I'd also check with your reception place and see if they will charge you for baby, I know mine doesn't for kids under age 2.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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