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Parent Gift Protocol

tnspighttnspight member
100 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
I posted this on P&E also.  FI's mom is not helping with the wedding/RD.  He told her that it didn't have to be a big deal and that it was, at the time, 8 months away.  Still no.  Since my parents are hosting the wedding, we're getting them a flatscreen.  Do we get his mom a gift?  We weren't planning to.  What's the purpose of the parent gift?
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Re: Parent Gift Protocol

  • jujubee455jujubee455 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would definitely say yes to getting his mom a gift... the purpose of a gift IMO is to say thanks for your support... whether it be financial or emotional. HTH
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  • bmprochabmprocha
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i think you should get his mom a gift as well... we are paying for everything ourselves, but will still be getting both our sets of parents a nice gift...to thank them for all they do for us & for getting us to the point we are today :):) GL!
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  • mordaciousmordacious
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same situation and yes, we are getting her a gift. I would fell pretty crappy giving my parents a gift and not my FMIL even if she never knew.
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  • aprillm730aprillm730
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Parent gifts are definitely not for financial support in regards to the wedding. Giving parents gifts at the RD or whenever you decide to give them, is really more of a "thank you for raising me" type of gift....
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  • liza0828liza0828 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I must be in the minority, but I have never heard of parent gifts anywhere except the Knot. If we gave our parents gifs for our wedding, I think they would have thought it was very odd. We gave them photo albums and a copy of the wedding video, but obviously it was after the fact. I wouldn't call it a "thank you for raising me" type thing. Anyway, to each their own... there's nothing wrong with giving presents for any reason, really, but I don't think they are necessary.
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  • Jacks21583Jacks21583 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was also thinking I would purchase/make them a parent's album and then maybe a little something extra, gift certificate for dinner, etc.
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  • leeshab1982leeshab1982 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am with you liza.  I've never heard of people giving anything else than a photo album of the wedding pictures or something similar.  This has really got me thinking! 
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  • tnspighttnspight member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I mentioned it to FI b/c I saw it on here a few times so I thought it was customary.  I think we'll get her a parent album bc she probably wouldn't get one for herself.  Thanks everyone!  You guys were much more helpful/polite than the P&E board ; ).
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  • *Rebecca & Chris**Rebecca & Chris*
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are in the same boat. My parents helped, so we got them something big and nice. His parent's didn't help, but I will still get them a photobook and a copy of the DVD.
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  • *Rebecca & Chris**Rebecca & Chris*
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and if you get them something but it is quite a bit smaller than the gift you are giving your parents, you may want to give it to the parents in private, not in front of everyone. That way not everyone sees it and is jealous of what the other got.
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  • tnspighttnspight member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thx Rebecca.  We're thinking of not giving them at the RD.  Even if we did a photo book for her, it wouldn't be ready until after the wedding.
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  • TruchanaTruchana member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I defended you on the P&E board:) they really are rather rude. I would say yes, get them a parent album or picture frame.  I would give the tv to your famly in private.  We are dong something similar, more because my parents are giving us more than I ever thought and they are insisting.
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  • aldarraldarr
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I just looked at your post on the P&E board and those have to be some of the rudest bizzatches I have ever seen.  Sorry about that.  I definitely don't think it is a big deal to get your family a nicer gift but I would still get his mom something, maybe a photo album. good luck! :-)
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  • scarywife1026scarywife1026
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yea...I wouldn't recommend asking people on P&E questions like this or anything, really. lol I asked a question about inviting SO's to the RD and I got my head bit off. We gave our parents really nice photo albums from our photog for the wedding and DH made a great DVD.
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