vent: I try not to be a bridezilla.. but...

brandym22

I swear that 2 of mt 4 bridesmaid I wanna jump in a dark ally. They are so lazy, so nonresponsive, so annoying I cant stand it. I have the one,in particular, that NEVER replies to any message (my FI sister in law). As bitchy as this sounded, I had to send her the message just now that said

     "Annie, can you please reply to the messages i send you. Sorry if I sound rude, but its hard enough planning a wedding on my own (as you know) and when i am trying to plan things and bridesmaids are nonresponsive, it hard to get stuff done. If you dont want to be in the wedding with jeff and I, I need to know"

Straight and to the point, and FI and I are so fed up with her crap we are having second thoughts on her involvement in the bridal party.

brandym22

I suppose I could have did without the last sentence, now that I thnk of it, but I am really jusst giving her an out. FI would rather give her a deadline and hopes that she misses it and tell her "oh well" then make her look like th bad person... but thats not me. If she doesnt want in it, then i dont want her in it... and I need to know because she IS replaceable (as sad as it sounds)

vk2204

What types of things isn't she responding about?

Maybe you should drop the wedding talk for a little bit and just focus on your friendship. Has your FI talked to his brother about her? Maybe she is just super busy and hasn't had time to respond?

If she doesn't buy the dress, then she pretty much takes herself out of the party, but I would not recommend kicking her out.

TheFutureMrsB81

sounds like 2 of my bridesmaids. I try to talk to them about non wedding stuff all the time and I get nothing in return. I don't know why I bother anymore with them. One of them, for 5 months, has been saying she's going to get her dress, has stood me up at Davids Bridal 5 times, aind never returns calls, texts, anything. Then out of the blue the other day she sends my FI a post on FB saying her husband needed to talk to him and wants us to go to the orchard this weekend. Really??!?

The other Bm is FI's sister. She's pretty much useless at this point. Doesn't know if she can come from Utah and won't know till April or so. Uh.... the wedding is in May and I need to know.

Good luck with everything and I hope everything works out for you.

emarston1

What planning needs to be done that involves her?  The only thing I can think of is her bridesmaid dress and either she orders it or she doesn't.  If she doesn't, she won't be in the wedding.

Although I would caution you against replacing her.  It sends a message to the new girl that "well I didn't like you enough to ask you the first time around but now that someone has dropped out, you're in!"  If she doesn't end up being in the wedding, just have uneven sides.

It sucks but she's family and you are going to be stuck with her for a loooooooong time.  Take the high road and try not to let her get to you (easier said than done obviously.)

brandym22

I do try and talk about non wedding stuff. She called my Fi after I sent her this message and send "what should I do, Brandy keeps texting me" his response: " What do you mean, what are you supposed to do? stop being rude adn ignoring her.... " and the conversation went on and on..

There is a history.. long story short... jeff and I got into a fight one day "in public: and now they blame me for it.. because they are brats.

But when I send her a message that asks a question.. WR or NWR.. i expect a response. For example, a week ago  I said "do you an brian want to share a hotel roomwith us  for Julies wedding?"  NOTHING.. No Response.

Its just RUDE- ANNOYING- and all around DISRESPECTFUL... since I am going to be around for a loooong time.

emarston1

A few questions that might be obvious but maybe not:

1.  Does she have free texting?  I didn't for a long time and I would get irritated when people would text me and I wouldn't text back.  Just wanted to throw this out there on the slight chance this is true.

2.  Is this FI's sister or sister in law (ie his brother's wife?)

3.  If it's brother's wife, why don't you just start going to the brother for stuff?  Obviously your relationship isn't the best (not blaming you) so I wouldn't keep pushing it.  Can you start asking the brother if he wants to share a hotel room for Julie's wedding and other stuff like that?

Bottom line, I would stop texting her since she never responds.

paulandchelsea2012

I seriously have the exact same problem with my FSIL. My FMIL actually suggested that we kick her out of the wedding because she was such a pain for FI brother's wedding!

I don't know what it is about SILs. But I can't stand it when I'm ignored! It's so rude! If I ask her to come to a movie with me and the other bridesmaids, she won't even answer me. How can you just not answer someone when they ask you a specific question? This has led to FI deleting her from his facebook friends (because she told me she couldn't afford to LOOK at dresses, and then posted that she just spent $500 at Victoria's Secret) and he was sick of it. But it's just too much! FI even gave her an out a couple months ago and straight up told her that we had a back up bridesmaid and she said she completely wanted to be in the wedding...

I don't get it. I really don't. They will be getting married someday - how do they want us to act?

brandym22

Sounds like we have a lot in common..because this is totally up her ally!! We should get together and plot! haha just kidding.. but perhaps we can give each other support for out bit**y SIL's.