Confessions/Vents

emarston1

Let's hear 'em!

matuofm

Confession: I spazzed last night.  Not hard-core, but I definitely got upset and frustrated and expressed it to FI in such a way that he felt like he was doing something wrong, even though I repeatedly tried to specifically point out that he wasn't.

I'm just so stressed.  There's so little time left, and so much to do.  And because I'm a detail-oriented person, I feel like I can't hand off the tasks - I have to do them myself so that the details get done right.  FI wants to help so bad, and keeps asking for jobs, but I don't have anything for him besides "go pick up some napkins in this color" or "please drop off this contract at the vendor's."  He flat-out says things like "baby, I really want to help.  But I have to be honest - they're flowers.  I'm a guy.  I don't really have an opinion."  Which is absolutely fine.  I get that, and respect it.  But at that point - I don't want him working on the flowers.  Because I want someone who cares to be working on them.  But that leaves me to do it, and we're starting to get to the point where I'm feeling a little grumpy because I ask him what he did this afternoon before work, and he tells me he grilled himself a steak for lunch and watched a movie.  And i'm thinking "well, isn't that nice for you.  I haven't watched a movie or read a book for two months now, because every second that I'm not at work or asleep, I'm working on wedding stuff."

I know that this is a problem of my own devising, and if I wasn't such a spazzy detail-oriented control freak I'd be a lot happier right now.  I just don't know how to be that person.

Here endeth the vent/confession.  Sorry.  :[

lndskelly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-47?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:1aa042e5-de33-4041-95b2-d10257125382Post:a108aaf0-38e1-4207-ac70-1c4d8b650e8a">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]Confession: I spazzed last night.  Not hard-core, but I definitely got upset and frustrated and expressed it to FI in such a way that he felt like he was doing something wrong, even though I repeatedly tried to specifically point out that he wasn't. I'm just so stressed.  There's so little time left, and so much to do.  And because I'm a detail-oriented person, I feel like I can't hand off the tasks - I have to do them myself so that the details get done right.  FI wants to help so bad, and keeps asking for jobs, but I don't have anything for him besides "go pick up some napkins in this color" or "please drop off this contract at the vendor's."  He flat-out says things like "baby, I really want to help.  But I have to be honest - they're flowers.  I'm a guy.  I don't really have an opinion."  Which is absolutely fine.  I get that, and respect it.  But at that point - I don't want him working on the flowers .  Because I want someone who cares to be working on them.  But that leaves me to do it, and we're starting to get to the point where I'm feeling a little grumpy because I ask him what he did this afternoon before work, and he tells me he grilled himself a steak for lunch and watched a movie.  And i'm thinking "well, isn't that nice for you.  I haven't watched a movie or read a book for two months now, because every second that I'm not at work or asleep, I'm working on wedding stuff." I know that this is a problem of my own devising, and if I wasn't such a spazzy detail-oriented control freak I'd be a lot happier right now.  I just don't know how to be that person. Here endeth the vent/confession.  Sorry.  :[
Posted by matuofm[/QUOTE]

<div>I totally could have written this myself at my 2-month mark. I don't know how your schedules match up but what we ended up doing was doing all of the to-do's together since I could not just give him things to do himself (because I'm a crazy wedding control freak). In the last month or so my H came with me to every Hobby Lobby trip, helped me DIY our pie stands and table numbers and whatever else there was left, and I gave him every task I didn't want to do (usually calling people, making appointments). Even if I didn't want him actually doing anything on the task (like the cardbox) he would be my "assistant" and hand me the glue gun when I needed and keep me company. This helped me and our pre-wedding relationship tremendously and I felt on the day I could say "we made this happen" and not just "I did all of this". He was really sweet and said something in his reception speech about how hard I worked - to AW him: "You have worked so hard to get to this day with me, I am continually amazed at what you are capable of and forever grateful that you have chosen me as your husband". </div><div>
</div><div>So, even if you can't hand off tasks it can help to do them together :) </div>

rcj2rcd

Melissa - your post is what I was going to write!! The wedding crunch stress has hit. I have a weekly checklist and I have no clue how I'm going to get everything done. I've been working on the invites FOR.EVER and FI was like, "why don't you have someone else help you?". Because if I want it done right I'll just do it myself and I'm tired of hearing everyone else's opinions. Ok - end vent.

matuofm

Yay!  Craziness is so much funner when it's done in group form! 

lesley909

vent:
1: i feel like crap i think i cought some sorf of bug
2: fi hasnt made his mind up about our vacation in 13 days!!!!!!!!!
3: i am so over work, i need a pool day!

thats all i have now, im sure i will have more by the time today is done

Meegles4

- I really don't feel like working this week.
- Netflix has increased their rates for the second time in under a year. Seriously they should have just done it once and been done with it. Bad planning.
- I've got something unpleasant happening on my skin so I'm trying to get into the doctor to have it looked at, but a) they're not calling me back and b) my doctor is literally across town from work, so I'll have to take time off to get out there today when I'm already taking time on Friday for a wedding. And it's a new job so I still feel weird about taking time off, even if it's for a doctor appt.
- I haven't been sleeping well, which is unusual and annoying. I'm amazed I'm not a zombie at this point.

Frivolous vents, but vents nonetheless. I feel for you girls who are 2 months out. Thanks for venting so I know what other unpleasantness I have to look forward to!

lovetruly06

 Im soooo sick of not working, I got a job so that I would have something to do along with some extra cash not so that I could sit on my butt at home and do NOTHING. Bored now.

 Also FI grandma is seriously close to severing all family ties. There is alot of drama there with his grandma and the family, all the family. I guess she just burns alot of bridges with them. I try and stay out of it, but right now I wanna knock some sense into her. She told Ken not long after his grandpa passed that he could have his wedding ring, well now she doesn't wanna give it up, say's it's to hard and there is too much sentimental value to it. That's perfectly fine, but could you have least said something BEFOR our wedding was 88 days away now we have to spend money we don't have to get him a ring. I would be a tiny bit more understanding if she had not said in the phone conversation with him, that "I did some looking and you can find good ring for around 200 bucks".  Umm hello! didn't ya think it was a good idea to say something then?! And she doesn't have the internet so that means she had to do some serious searching that involved going out or calling around. So no im not the least bit understanding about her lack of communication with this. Im very po'd by that.

 

MishGettingMarried

I want FI's truck to get delivered!!! The moving company has had it for two weeks as of today. They were supposed to deliver it on Monday, but they wouldn't give us a time so I had to SIT here all day and wait for a knock on the door. They didn't show. So I had to wait around YESTERDAY as well - no phone calls or e-mails and it wasn't delivered. When I picked FI up from the airport yesterday he received a call from the moving company and asked if they could deliver it before 9am today (it's his first day in the office) they won't be here until after 5 so he had to take my car to work today. So, you guessed it, I'm stuck in this house for the THIRD day in a row. Arghhhhh!!!! 

I realize that all of the he things his company has paid for and done for our move down here is amazing, but I feel like if his car were a Lexus instead of a Chevy pick up it would've been here at 9am Monday .

::End Vent::

larzhope

My photographer emails us our engagement pictures and I REALLY want to look at them but I'm trying really hard to wait until Fi and I can do it together at home tonight after my first fitting.

Also, we had our showers this weekend and flew back with all of our gifts (people were so so generous) and now I can't wait until we can goodwill all of our old hand me downs and start using our bright shiny new stuff!!

emarston1

Oh ladies, I feel you on the 2 month mark vents.  Everyone goes through this and I PROMISE you will get through it.  Yes it sucks during the moment but looking back, you will laugh.

I specifically remember telling Todd about 6 weeks before the wedding, "I do not have a sense of humor right now.  And it will not come back until after the wedding.  Do not try to make light of the situation when I'm stressed.  Do NOT make fun of me in any way shape or form because I will either A) yell at you, start crying uncontrollably, or C) a combination of A&B.  And don't say, "Yes Dear" because I hate that too."

It will all get better.  Just keep calm and carry on

Meegles4

larzhope -- how did the whirlwind shower/bachelorette party/driving everywhere go?! Sounds like you guys had a great time and lived to tell the tale?

LOTON01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-47?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:1aa042e5-de33-4041-95b2-d10257125382Post:b5d85fc9-f570-4986-be90-dfb0cc950596">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]My photographer emails us our engagement pictures and I REALLY want to look at them but I'm trying really hard to wait until Fi and I can do it together at home tonight after my first fitting. Posted by larzhope[/QUOTE]

I am waiting to receive ours in the mail. My Fi said he wanted us to look at them together and I know it will kill me to wait if he to work when I receive them.  Good Luck!!!!

matuofm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-47?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:1aa042e5-de33-4041-95b2-d10257125382Post:41465d55-902f-4191-ad7a-23cdf5d69d16">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh ladies, I feel you on the 2 month mark vents.  Everyone goes through this and I PROMISE you will get through it.  Yes it sucks during the moment but looking back, you will laugh. I specifically remember telling Todd about 6 weeks before the wedding, "I do not have a sense of humor right now.  And it will not come back until after the wedding.  Do not try to make light of the situation when I'm stressed.  Do NOT make fun of me in any way shape or form because I will either A) yell at you, B) start crying uncontrollably, or C) a combination of A&B.  And don't say, "Yes Dear" because I hate that too." It will all get better.  Just keep calm and carry on :)
Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]


I'm relieved to hear you say that, Liz, because now FI and I are in a protracted (calm but still unpleasant) email back-and-forth about how he thinks I now owe him an apology for (a) blaming him for my stress because he can't do embroidery and now I'm forced to do the wedding project that involves embroidery (what?  I know he can't embroider.  If I chose a project that involved embroidery, of course I'd assume that bit was on me.  Additionally "I'm Stressed" does not equal "I't's your fault that I'm stressed because you never learned how to emboider."), and (b) thinking that he's stupid and couldn't learn embroidery to do the project if I'd just bother to sit down and show him.  (Seriously?  You want me to teach you to embroider with 2 months before our wedding?)  GAH!  Clearly, 2-month mania is not limited to brides alone.  We never fight, and it would never have occurred to him before to read a situation like this.

lmalear01

I work nights and I woke up to find out that there was a terrorist attack in mumbai while I was sleeping. There has not been a terrorist attack on Mumbai since 2008.  My fiance is there for work right now.  Even though I know he is safe...I still don't like him being there it has made me very nervous  but I can't let him know that because he is nervous about being there and I have to be the strong one and tell him that its fine.  He is in another city now but he has to go back to Mumbai to fly home and now I am wondering if this is going to create issue for him coming home.  It really sucks because I don't get to talk to him very much.  Oh...and work has too much drama for me right now...I need the weekend STAT!

emarston1

Lisa - T&Ps for a safe return of your fiance   I was in London when they bombed the subway so I know what you're going through (or well DH does anyway.)  He'll be fine but I definitely understand just wanting him home.

Melissa - I literally LOL'd at the embroidery story.  I definitely think guys can get a little nutty around the wedding as well and it shouldn't just be limited to brides.  But isn't it a good thing that he's willing to learn even though it's extremely misguided?  Good luck with everything and I PROMISE you will get through it.  And you will definitely laugh when you remember these stupid little fights.  Because they are absolutley stupid (but seem so necessary at the time.)

larzhope

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_confessionsvents-47?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:1aa042e5-de33-4041-95b2-d10257125382Post:8e270830-27bf-49ae-be26-85619a7f9ae3">Re: Confessions/Vents</a>:
[QUOTE]larzhope -- how did the whirlwind shower/bachelorette party/driving everywhere go?! Sounds like you guys had a great time and lived to tell the tale?
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

Thanks for asking Meegles.  It went great.  I'm exhausted but it was so so fun.  Fi's mom's shower ended up taking more than 3 hours (and there were only 6 guests there!) but FI hauled butt on the highway and we got to my BM's apartment in Ann Arbor around 8:30.  They had lingerie and a sash and veil for me and we went out to buffalo wild wings.  My pregnant MOH left around 10 and we stayed out til about 12:30.

I was supposed to get back to Seattle at 10pm Monday night but because of the storms, my flight was delayed and I missed my connection in Chicago so I went back to my parents house in Detroit Monday night and yesterday my flight schedule looked something like this:

12:45 arrive at DTW
2:00 fly to chicago
2:15 (chicago time) arrive in Chicago
6pm leave Chicago

Then I had a "direct" flight to seattle.  Which I learned is NOT the same as a non stop flight.  Chicago />Seattle is a 4hour flight.

We stopped in Omaha, NE and Denver,CO to get more people.  7 1/2 hours instead of 4.  and lots of delays b/c of lightning in Denver. 
Didn't get to bed til 2am. I'm exhausted.  but it was a GREAT weekend all in all

Lisa - sending thoughts and prayers for your FI that he gets home safe!

abbeylynne06

Melissa--I am seriously LOL'ing at the embroidery thing.  Guys can be so weird sometimes!

courtney1188

Right there with you, Melissa. FI has been continually asking the last couple days what is wrong and that he feels like something is because I always seem to be tired...and certain activities that he enjoys haven't been happening much lately. ell of course I'm tired, I just started working full-time about a month ago and I'm getting into crunch time for the wedding!

But then I can't think of anything to hand off to him to do. Although some help around the house would be nice...I was doing pretty much all of it before when I only worked part-time, but it's a lot harder now that i've got a ton more hours. He works a lot too, but I told him today I'm sick of hearing about how he never has clean clothes to wear, he knows how to work the washing machine!

My other vent/confession is that I HATE scary movies. LIke horrible awful fear, will need to sleep with the light on and have nightmares for weeks, if not months. We just got DirecTV and now it's like every night I go to enter the living room and FI says not to because I won't like what he's watching. After a bit of prodding from me he'll change it, but I'm sick of having to ask and not being able to hang out in the living room. And all of the sudden he's making it out to be this huge sacrifice that he never gets to watch scary movies anymore - but this absolutely isn't something that I can compromise on, and he knows it, so it's hard for me. I think he's just crabby cuz of the first thing in my post.

Milsey32

Vent: Still don't have a working computer, and I'm starting to get tired of this work 7 days a week / 70 hours a week AND go to class Tues/thurs 6-10pm. soooo... that's why I'm barely on TK anymore and why all I do is sleep and wake up and realize it's halfway through July!