Married Ladies - Hindsight being 20/20... re Wedding Day

Mrs0toBe

is there anything you wished you had done for your wedding but didn't?

anything you did that you wished you hadn't bothered with?

Anything you worried about that ended up being not that important on your big day? 

any general wedding advice for those of us taking the plunge soon?  

corinne2010

There is not one thing I regret about my wedding day. I am glad that I went against DH's wishes and booked a videographer. Seriously. He was not happy, but I swear he has watched our wedding video more than I have.

My advice: If you have the money to spend, get a DOC. Mine was a lifesaver. Some of my vendors were late getting places and I knew nothing about it the entire day because they called my DOC, not me.

Also, take every single moment in starting the the second you wake up in the morning. I remember sitting on the couch of my hotel room looking around at all my close girlfriends, mom, and MIL and was so happy they were sharing my special day with me.

Another thing I did that was advice given to me was to take a minute and look at the details of your wedding at the reception. I walked around to see all the work I (and DH) had put into making the reception what it was. Both DH and I walked around and just stood in the corner watching people laugh, drink, and dance. And they were all there to celebrate with us. It was an amazing feeling to see how happy everyone was.

Don't forget to eat! A bunch of ladies said they weren't able to really enjoy the dinner they chose because they were up walking around. I knew that would be the only time I'd get any kind of food in me for the evening. Plus, I had to sample what we had everyone else eat!

Lastly, don't sweat the small stuff (easier said than done). People are going to be late, people may even show up to your wedding even after they RSVP'd no, hell, people may not even show up. That is going to happen. Just go with it and enjoy your day with the people that did come to support you. Try to make the best of every situation. If it rains on your wedding day, so what. It may be an inconvenience, but if weather is really the worst thing that could happen, I'd take that over anything else. Remember, it's about you and your DH. Everything else just adds to the celebration. So what if your flowers aren't the right color or if you forgot to put menu cards down. So what. Enjoy your day. It only happens once (hopefully)!

emily1004

First off, it was the most amazing day of my life and it was very romantic. But when I look back there were several , somewhat insignificant things, I would change. (This is YOUR wedding so do what you want, for the record, these are just thing I would of changed.)

I would of hired a better photographer (maybe two, we had at big party). My photographer was good, but she missed a lot of people that weren't on the dance floor. Someone who has a photo journalist style plus knows how to make you look good in posed pictures. I was so happy I hired a videographer. We love our video!

I would of saw my DH before the ceremony for more pictures, but that was because we only had an hour in between the ceremony and reception, for religious reasons. 

I would of hired another florist, because mine was just average. And she was overpriced. But someone else paid so, I would of ordered different things.

 I would of hired a band over a DJ. However, my DJ was just wonderful and sometimes it's just not in the budget. But it was a formal occasion and a good band would of been really nice. Don't buy into that "a DJ can make or break a party." Not true. (unless they are drunk and say inappropriate things.) People are going to dance if they want to dance. I found myself, my DH and guests made the party not my DJ.

 

I had to bring my ceremony inside because it was soggy outside. Which was fine but in the pictures there are exit signs behind our chuppah. I would of put up some type of fabric backing.

I would of hired a different string quartet. They were awful but that's another long rant that I've made too many times last year. So I'll just leave it as that.

I wouldn't of spent the money on a complimentary bathroom basket for guest. I was robbed by someone. They were there to use, not take. I did however get amazing compliments for the bags I made for our hotel guests.

I was happy I picked better food over a pretty venue. My venue was still very nice, it was just more retro feel because it wasn't newly renovated. But I liked that.  I've been to some very nice venues that had awful food. I remember good food over what the room looked like. 

I would of took my dress to a different seamstress.. I had a few wardrobe malfunctions, but nothing too bad. And she was a crazy lady. I would of liked to worked out a little more before, but time flies when your planning a wedding.

Spend the money and get a good DOC. They make a world of difference and it keeps things organized. 

I for one believe while the day is about you and your DH. The party is for your guest to enjoy too. They spent a lot of money to travel, get you gifts and be there on your big day. The reception was our thank you to them. So I made sure they had a good time.

Make sure to take some time to take it all in. Eat Drink and be Married! It goes by so fast! 

Sue-n-Kevin

These are great questions! There were a LOT of things I wished I'd been able to afford, but in the end, probably would not have made much difference.

is there anything you wished you had done for your wedding but didn't? Not a thing. I did a lot of DIY, but I'm pretty crafty and love doing things myself. It allowed me to get everything "tied together" that I wanted, ie decor.

anything you did that you wished you hadn't bothered with? LOTS of this, LOL. I'm a big internet shopper, and my house was overtaken with so much STUFF. But most of it I needed. In the end there were only a couple of things I ordered/purchased/made that were not used: glass hurricanes that were going to go on my candle holders, but I was talked out of this due to the fact they might fall. I made silver branches wired with lights on them for the DOC to put in the flower arrangements, then realized the silver paint on the bottoms of the branches would probably kill the flowers. (It might not have happened, but still, I was afraid since we took the arrangements over to the venue the day before).

Anything you worried about that ended up being not that important on your big day? Nope. I hired highly recommended vendors from this board, and everyone came through with flying colors.

any general wedding advice for those of us taking the plunge soon? I'd highly recommend getting a "day of coordinator" for your wedding. Even if you are not doing a lot of DIY, having someone else be responsible for your entire day (for about $500) is SO worth it. I struggled with this decision early in the budget process, but it was probably the best decision I made (aside from the caterer who was amazing as well).

If you can afford it (about $150 or so), get your hair and makeup done on the morning of your wedding. Our vendor was great, but I've seen so many brides love theirs as well. AND, get the airbrushed makeup. I looked and felt amazing all day, in spite of my age.

The best advice is start with your budget then plan from there. I actually ended up with more money than I thought I'd have due to about $1000 in a work bonus. Plus, when our guest list dwindled, we didn't need the tent and dance floor outdoors, everyone would fit inside.

It's smart to decide a percentage of your budget goes to X, another % is spent on Y, etc. Your largest expense will be for food/alcohol. What's left gets divided up, then decide what you want to spend on everything else.

GOOGLE, GOOGLE, GOOGLE, GOOGLE. Whenever I wanted to find something, I'd do a google search. I found almost everything I needed on the internet, from white 9" candleholders with dangling crystals, to my rhinestone headband, to trims for my wedding dress, to particular ribbons I wanted. Yes, it is time consuming. But for someone on a tight budget, you can find so many things discounted it's amazing. Be specific with your searches (ie I googled "black and white toile curtains", and found black & white toile curtains that I cut into table runners much cheaper than any fabric I'd buy).

PS: no, I don't work for Google, LOL.

emarston1

is there anything you wished you had done for your wedding but didn't?
The only small, absolute minor thing is that I wish I would have ironed the table runners.  But if that's the only thing I wish I would have done, I think we had a very successful wedding!

anything you did that you wished you hadn't bothered with?
Nothing that I can think of.

Anything you worried about that ended up being not that important on your big day?
Except for the world ending (May 21st), I wasn't worried about a whole lot   But seriously, when every.single.person. is mentioning to you that you won't have your wedding because the world is supposed to end, it puts things in perspective.  As long as I got to marry Todd, nothing was going to ruin the day.

any general wedding advice for those of us taking the plunge soon? 
- Ditto everyone else about take the time and let it all soak in.  It will FLY by so make yourself take a few moments and just watch.  Watch everyone dancing at the reception.  Watch your DH dance with his mom.  Watch your parents dancing with each other.  Look to see how much love is in the room.  People get all lovey dovey at weddings and it's really sweet to watch.

- Take a mental picture of the look on your husbands face when he sees you for the first time.  Whether that be in a first look or while you are walking down the aisle, no look he will EVER give you will match the love and excitement than when he sees you for the first time on your wedding day.

- You know all those details you are stressing about because your wedding will be ruined if you don't do them perfectly?  They don't matter.  Let me repeat:  they don't matter.  No one cares about the escort cards matching the lettering on the guestbook.  No one cares about the shoes on your bridesmaids feet.  No one cares what your cake cutting and serving knife look like.  This day is not about escort cards, shoes, or cake cutting sets.  It's about you and your DH and the love you have for each other.  Remember the big picture and don't sweat the small stuff

- Use the vendor recommendations from this board!  I cannot emphasize this enough.  I loved all of my vendors and most of whom I booked based on previous knottie's recommendations.  Nothing is as good as a personal recommendation from someone (and even better:  lots of someones.)  Reputation is everything and if they have a good reputation on this board, it's for a good reason.

Mrs0toBe

Thanks Ladies!