Reception after honeymoon

PhoneCardLady

Would it be proper to have a reception AFTER our honeymoon, say a week after we go back?

I think if we went this way we'd be more relaxed and not have to worry about missing connections, rushing and things to that nature.

MMRoberts11

Are you going to elope, have a DW wedding, or have guests at your ceremony?

matuofm

I think there are some etiquette problems with this idea.  First off, if you have guests at your wedding, you're basically asking them to come to your wedding, send them home, and then come back again in a week.  I think I'd be a little irritated with that plan, from (a) the amount of driving and wekeends taken up by your events, and (b) the general feeling that fitting in your vacation was more important to you than fitting in your family and friends. 

Plus, it seems like you might have trouble "getting away" from your guests afterwards - to me, the instinct would be "You're married now!  Let's celebrate somehow!" and want to spend time with you socially, but you'd just jump into a car and leave?  And if you have any sort of gathering afterwards, even if it's just drinks at the bar or punch and cake, that IS your wedding reception, and it seems a bit silly to have a second one a week later.  Plus, you hit murky ground on "it's a week later - what's the plan?"  Are you going to wear your white dress again?  Cut the cake?  Have a first dance?  I feel like you lose a lot of the immediacy of celebration when you postpone the reception.

In the end, I vote reception immediately.  Just my two cents.

Allycat11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_reception-after-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:24128ca6-6c03-4305-b09f-fb8bda3ca91bPost:a45b1799-0c5f-4eac-9384-f05f8c473d1f">Re: Reception after honeymoon</a>:
[QUOTE]I think there are some etiquette problems with this idea.  First off, if you have guests at your wedding, you're basically asking them to come to your wedding, send them home, and then come back again in a week.  I think I'd be a little irritated with that plan, from (a) the amount of driving and wekeends taken up by your events, and (b) the general feeling that fitting in your vacation was more important to you than fitting in your family and friends.  Plus, it seems like you might have trouble "getting away" from your guests afterwards - to me, the instinct would be "You're married now!  Let's celebrate somehow!" and want to spend time with you socially, but you'd just jump into a car and leave?  And if you have any sort of gathering afterwards, even if it's just drinks at the bar or punch and cake, that IS your wedding reception, and it seems a bit silly to have a second one a week later.  Plus, you hit murky ground on "it's a week later - what's the plan?"  Are you going to wear your white dress again?  Cut the cake?  Have a first dance?  I feel like you lose a lot of the immediacy of celebration when you postpone the reception. In the end, I vote reception immediately.  Just my two cents.
Posted by matuofm[/QUOTE]

Ditto. A reception is a way to thank your guests for attending your ceremony. 

Meegles4

What Mel said. Way more eloquent than what I could have come up with.

PhoneCardLady

Basically it will be a destination wedding, not an elopement.

baileyleev

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_reception-after-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:24128ca6-6c03-4305-b09f-fb8bda3ca91bPost:9faa8831-6664-4429-9539-b8fa3f889ca4">Re: Reception after honeymoon</a>:
[QUOTE]Basically it will be a destination wedding, not an elopement.
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]
I think if it's a desitnation wedding and you provide some sort of event after the ceremony for those that are attending that, there is no problem coming home and celebrating with those that were not at the ceremony. 

zulamay

A girl I used to work with did this - she got married in Florida and had a small gathering there of her bridal party, and then did a big reception when they got home in her hometown. I always thought it was weird, but she managed to pull it off.  Personally though, the stress is the reception, so leaving afterwards seems like a really, really good idea.  I wouldn't want to be out of town the week before the reception - I'd go nuts!

rcj2rcd

Since it is a DW, if you have a reception in Michigan, inherently, it has to be after; however, the elapsed time between ceremony and reception should be short (ie, no longer than a week or two) and it won't be a wedding reception...more of a large party. So, personally, I would not wear your dress, have a cake, first dances, garter/bouquet and such because it's not a wedding reception.

zeke17us

I think its perfectly fine! We just went to a good friends reception a week ago and she had a small DW a couple months ago! Went on her honeymoon and came back and had an absolutely gorgeous reception! Im very doubtful that anyone there thought it was weird or in poor taste!!

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_reception-after-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:24128ca6-6c03-4305-b09f-fb8bda3ca91bPost:04fec9e2-c688-42ba-b9c8-269b1d6c9e3b">Re: Reception after honeymoon</a>:
[QUOTE]Since it is a DW, if you have a reception in Michigan, inherently, it has to be after; however, the elapsed time between ceremony and reception should be short (ie, no longer than a week or two) and it won't be a wedding reception...more of a large party. So, personally, I would not wear your dress, have a cake, first dances, garter/bouquet and such because it's not a wedding reception.
Posted by rcj2rcd[/QUOTE]

This exactly.  This is why I was asking about the ceremony.

matuofm

To me, I think the circumstances behind the destination wedding would also matter.  If my cousin decided to have a destination wedding in Italy, I would be really happy for her.  But I would also feel like they'd decided that having their wedding in a beautiful palazzo in Europe was more important to them than having the majority of their friends and family there.  Which is fine - that's their decision.  But, like eloping, I feel like you then forfeit the whole party thing where all your family and friends bring you gifts.

 There are exceptions - if you hold the wedding on one side of the country because the groom's family is all there, that's one thing.  But I feel like if you decide to have a Hawaiian wedding because it's awesome to go to Hawaii, and the majority of your guests can't/won't fly to Hawaii just for your wedding, then holding a reception when you get home says "I didn't really care if you came to our wedding or not.  But I definitely want to make sure that you get an opportunity to give me a present."

Allycat11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_reception-after-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:24128ca6-6c03-4305-b09f-fb8bda3ca91bPost:7f0ca2f3-15af-49a5-9b70-764fead573ab">Re: Reception after honeymoon</a>:
[QUOTE]To me, I think the circumstances behind the destination wedding would also matter.  If my cousin decided to have a destination wedding in Italy, I would be really happy for her.  But I would also feel like they'd decided that having their wedding in a beautiful palazzo in Europe was more important to them than having the majority of their friends and family there.  Which is fine - that's their decision.  But, like eloping, I feel like you then forfeit the whole party thing where all your family and friends bring you gifts.  There are exceptions - if you hold the wedding on one side of the country because the groom's family is all there, that's one thing.  But I feel like if you decide to have a Hawaiian wedding because it's awesome to go to Hawaii, and the majority of your guests can't/won't fly to Hawaii just for your wedding, then holding a reception when you get home says "I didn't really care if you came to our wedding or not.  But I definitely want to make sure that you get an opportunity to give me a present."
Posted by matuofm[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this.  I would give a much smaller gift for an AHR of a destination wedding because I feel like the bride and groom chose location was more important than family and friends, which is fine.  If the wedding was split between locations because of family being spread across the country, a little more understandable.  Also, if someone eloped I would not be dying to go buy them a present. 

abbeylynne06

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_reception-after-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:24128ca6-6c03-4305-b09f-fb8bda3ca91bPost:89e9bb6e-81f6-4e8b-b1fd-685bb621be25">Reception after honeymoon</a>:
[QUOTE]Would it be proper to have a reception AFTER our honeymoon, say a week after we go back?<strong> I think if we went this way we'd be more relaxed</strong> and not have to worry about missing connections, rushing and things to that nature.
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]

It sounds to me like the honeymoon is more important to you than the wedding itself, then.

And I'm actually pretty confused about what you're wanting to do...

Why don't you:
-Have your wedding and reception on the same day, then have a day with nothing planned and leave the day after that for your honeymoon.  (like, Saturday wedding, leave for honeymoon on Monday)
-Or, have a DW, then have an at home party celebrating your marriage later?  And, I would have it be more than a week later, because I feel like coming back and immediately having your reception would give you the opposite problem of not being relaxed on your honeymoon because you're stressed about missing connections/not having time to get the party ready.