please help who to invite and who not to invite

I am having a reception after my wedding but due to my budget i can only invite 100 people. more than that wants to come to my wedding but how do i tell people they are invited to the wedding but not the reception. can i even put that in a invite? I dont want any hurt feeling i wish everybody could come to the reception but my budget wont let it happen. what do i do.

Re: please help who to invite and who not to invite

  • Options
    emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited January 2012
    You cannot invite people only to the ceremony.  The reception is a thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony.  Invite ONLY the amount of people that you will be able to accomodate to both functions.

    The way we put our guestlist together was make a "the absolute most important people in our lives and we could not imaigne getting married if these people weren't there" list.  This list includes immediate family, grandparents, us (because you have to include yourselves in the count), and life long best friends.  Then it went to the "It would be awesome if we could invite these people" list.  This list was the current good friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  Then the "if we have room list" which was coworkers, family friends, etc.

    You should also cut people in the same circles.  For example, no second cousins, or no coworkers, etc.  You can also exclude plus ones for truly single people (not in a committed relationship), etc.

    Good luck.
  • Options
    Find a way to invite the most impt. people to both. We did immediate family and super close friends. I even cut some aunts and uncles because we are not close family. We also have our "b-list" once people start declining. I wouldn't tell people outright that they aren't invited. You could always do a different style wedding or change to a cheaper venue/caterer in order to invite more people. Also, one of my friends was invited to the reception only AFTER dinner. Super tacky. Keep it all or nothing. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    I agree with everything that Liz has said, and I would also urge you not to create a "B-List."  Those who are invited from B-lists know that they've been b-listed.  People figure it out.  And your responsibility as a host, first and foremost, is to make every guest feel welcomed, valued and comfortable.  Any one of your guests knowing that they're only there because someone more important/well-liked declined means that you have failed in all three areas.

    If you absolutely must have a larger number of people than your 100, then your other option is looking into where you can cut costs.  Although it's not ideal for many people, you can look into purchasing a pre-owed dress instead of a new one.  You can also look into having non-floral decor (flowers are expensive!), doing cupcakes or cookies instead of a cake, a dj instead of a band, foregoing favors, having only beer and wine instead of a full bar, etc.  A wedding on a budget can definitely be done - you just need to determine exactly what your priorities are and then make sacrifices elsewhere.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited January 2012
    I agree with all the posts so far. There really is no way to invite people to just the ceremony. It's all or nothing.

    It would appear you are working with a budget. That budget can be reviewed for other areas where you can save money.

    Have you chosen a reception venue yet? If so, work with them to negotiate what you can and cannot afford. Weddings can be expensive, but it's up to you and your fiance to decide what is most important. Many people have only beer, wine and a signature drink instead of an open bar. Set lower expectations for things like centerpieces, favors, etc.

    Are you paying for everything yourself? If so, it can sometimes be easier, because the family members don't have much say in who or what is happening, and your response to anything they think you need to include is that you cannot afford it.

    Good luck. This is a wise board with many ladies who have planned weddings within their budget.
  • Options
    Ditto Sue, Mel, and Liz.  You cannot invite people to the ceremony and not the reception - the whole point of the reception is to thank people for coming to the ceremony.  Ceremony-only invites (and also B-lists) tell people that they are less important than your other guests.  Mel suggested some other great ways to save money if you want to expand your guest list.

    You do not outright tell people they are not invited, unless they ask you directly.  Then you say "Unfortunately, we were unable to invite everyone we wanted to.  I'm sure you understand.  We look forward to spending time with you after the wedding."
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards