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We had this conversation at work when there was 3 of us engaged. According to the family law atty until there is a legal binding agreement, no matter who calls off the wedding it should go back to the purchaser. After the wedding its stays with the person who's wearing it. However, if something happened before we were married I would give it back because I wouldn't want the reminder of the guy/failed relationship. I wonder what legally happens to the ring if there was a joint bank account and the guy purchased the ring using that account. Hmm...