NWR Christmas question

Allycat11

I just got off the phone with my mom and found out that my brother's friend will be celebrating Christmas with us this year.  I will give a long and short version of this, because background info. helps but isn't 100% neccessary.

Long Story:
My brother is 29, never married and has not even had a girlfriend since high school I don't think.  He is your typical overly intelligent computer nerd with a good sense of humor, but not the most attractive so no one takes the time to get to know him.  His friend that is coming with him had a MAJOR crush on him years ago, but he said she had too much baggage so he decided not to start a relationship with her.  She did however come to a family wedding and I also met her at our house a couple times (we are talking 6ish years ago), I LOVE this woman...she is so sweet and really cares about my brother.  Since then, she got married and divorced.  Because her parents are out of town this year and it is her first Christmas since her divorce, my brother invited her to our parents' house.  I want to make her feel welcome and like she is with family without being, "OMG I LOVE YOU, YOU NEED TO MARRY MY BROTHER!!!!!!!"

Short version and question:
What do you buy for your brothers' girl____friend for Christmas without being too pushy/awkward?  Or would you get her nothing at all?

emarston1

I would get her something, especially since it's the first Christmas and she's not with her family.

What do you know about her, if anything?  Does she like coffee?  Maybe a starbucks giftcard with a nice coffee mug?  Or if she likes books, a barnes and noble giftcard with some hot chocolate so she can curl up with some cocoa and read a good book?

Honestly, I think anything would be a really nice gesture.  She's probably not expecting anything so just a small gift would go a long way.

Allycat11

My mom said she likes knitting, so I could get something for that.  I was worried that because she is not his girlfriend, she is just a friend that it might be pushy, but I really want to welcome her and make her comfortable.  I've thought about maybe a candle, or a local bottle of wine but I don't know if she likes those things.  I overthink everything. 

ETA: I would ask my brother what she likes but he is the type that would get really uncomfortable and may even uninvite her if he knows my mom and I are buying gifts for her.  I may or may not have just creeped on her facebook and was super disappointed when pretty much everything was blocked.

emarston1

You could get her a nice knitting book, my mom really appreciates those.  Maybe a holiday one with stockings and holiday sweaters or something.  That way it's festive but also related to her hobby.

A bottle of wine is good too.

I think it would be one thing if you got her like an ipad or something ridiculously expensive but if it's just a small gift, I don't think that's weird.  It's nice.

matuofm

I vote gift also.  We often have random people at Christmas dinner (my cousin's roommate who is Jewish and would otherwise be sitting at home alone all night, etc.).  We always try to have a little something for them.  Otherwise it seems so sucky to have them sit around and watch everyone else open presents. 

I like the idea of the "Gift Card +" option, like Liz said.  Gift card, to be used as she wants, but small and coordinating object so that they have something tangible in their hands at the end of the day.

Milsey32

Dude, totally get her a gift... it's always nice to unwrap something when everyone else is too (and definitely when you're not expecting it!)

What about a JoAnns or Michaels gift card?

P.S. When I started to read your story I (for whatever reason) automatically assumed your brother's friend was a dude so when I kept reading to see the crush thing I was like Whoa, her brother's gay? Cool.. ? but then you said she and I was on the same page again.

abbeylynne06

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_nwr-christmas-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:5c15c021-0192-4dcd-bb76-7d29337b28dfPost:f545a98e-3c7d-48d5-b0e5-1b4246f563f1">Re: NWR Christmas question</a>:
[QUOTE]P.S. When I started to read your story I (for whatever reason) automatically assumed your brother's friend was a dude so when I kept reading to see the crush thing I was like Whoa, her brother's gay? Cool.. ? but then you said she and I was on the same page again.
Posted by Milsey32[/QUOTE]

Me too!

Sue-n-Kevin

Me three.

I'd get her something. If she likes to knit, and that is the only thing you know about her, you don't want to duplicate what your Mom may be getting. I agree the craft store gift card is good because they all have nice yarns. I wouldn't get a knitting book with patterns in it because you don't know how advanced she is.

I read about this yarn store a couple of years ago, it's pretty popular amongst knitters and is in Berkley. Not sure if they have gift cards, but maybe you can offer to go there with her?
http://www.haveyouanywoolmi.com/

I have to say I love how you talk about your brother. It's obvious you want him to be happy the way you are as part of a couple. You are a caring person. You don't know for sure if she still has a crush on him, so take it easy. Making her feel welcome will do little to open your brother's eyes, and she may have moved on. But the holidays are the time to be generous and make others feel welcome in our homes, so I hope it all goes well and maybe, just maybe, he will start to pay attention.

My son is a computer geek (and computer game geek........get a life!). He has only had a few relationships, but brought his adorable new galpal home with him from DC at Thanksgiving. They BOTH played Xbox games on the computer while they were here. I know he has met the perfect woman for him LOL. After knowing the bimbos he dated through high school and college, I'm really happy for them both. I guess my point is that if her crush on him was unrequited, and he felt she had too much baggage, that may or may not have changed. Just let them start it on their own and hopefully a spark will be lit. It doesn't hurt to try to help it along, but if it doesn't work, don't feel bad.

Good luck.

rcj2rcd

Ditto Sue on the knitting store in Berkley. My sister is big into knitting and she goes there and also Ewenique Knits in Royal Oak.

Allycat11

Thank you so much for all of the suggestions.  I am glad that everyone agrees that I should get her something.  I love the idea of a knitting/craft store gift card because that fits her interests but allows her to pick something out that suits her own style/experience level.