Tacky....or fun and exciting....

TJSnyder

So, I've been reading on different sites that this is COMPLETELY tacky....We were thinking of doing a 50/50 raffle at our wedding.  Now, while some could compare to the Dollar Dance, this is to pay tribute to how we met.....at bowling.  Most of our friends that will be there we both bowl with.  And how many people do you know leave a wedding with money.  I can see some of the Cheese factor, but it's all in fun.  We are by far greedy people, but hey, it could help with the honeymoon.

I'm sure there's going to be some negative thoughts right away, and I wasn't keen on it first either until I saw the whole picture.  It's a choice, you don't have to participate if you don't want to....no mandatory decision.

I even though of writing a poem about it to introduce it....so it doesn't come across as "hey, give me your money"

LOTON01

I would normally say it is tacky. However, with it being the way you guys met I feel like you could pull it off without being tacky. Do you have any other bowling type things going on with your wedding?

No matter what I still feel some people at your wedding won't agree with it. 

Meg1036

Sorry, I'm in the camp of thinking its tacky.  Your guests shouldn't feel they have to open their wallets at the reception, and even though its a choice, I would feel somewhat pressured as a wedding guest, I think.  Plus, I think of 50/50 raffles as a thing for charity, not as a thing to fund a honeymoon.

I would skip it.

TJSnyder

see that's the thing...i'm trying to stay away from bowling decor or the extra cost of a groom's cake because I don't want it to turn into a bowling theme.  I have mentioned it to a few people who I know would give me an honest answer and they seemed kind of excited....even one friend that I thought for sure would turn her nose up....and no.

i know all in all it's what we want to do.  I guess i'm just curious to know ideas of how to approach it, or introduce it.  Still have lots of time to decide.

emilynnp

Meg mentioned that 50/50 raffles are usually for charity, so what if you used it as a way to raise a little money for a cause you both believe in? The cause could be related to a friend or family member who has passed (American Cancer Society, American Heart Association, etc) and it can be a unique way to include their memory in your day as well. There may still be guests that don't like the idea of being asked for more money at a wedding, however.

rcj2rcd

Sorry - it's tacky to me, no matter the reason or charity behind it.

lmalear01

Sorry.  Its not just tacky but its really rude.  I am not just against the 50/50. I am against dollar dances, dashes...etc.   I guess I look at it this way.  If you are a close female in my life and were getting married I probably attended  your bachelorette party and that most likely required a contribution and most likely I brought you a gift.  I then probably came to your bridal shower and gave you a gift.  I now am attending your wedding.  I most certainly bought you a gift and I may even be putting up money for a hotel stay.  I would be a little put off if you then tried to sell me a 50/50 raffle ticket.  It may be my choice to contribute but I would probably feel like I had to.  Your guest should not have to pull money from their wallets at your wedding reception.  So IMO its actually quite rude.  

emarston1

I despise dollar dances and I think they are incredibly rude.  My best friend had one at her wedding and I was in charge of keeping the money for the bride.  I did it with vigor and was enthusiastic about it even though inside I was cringing the whole time.  I hated to see the looks on people who thought they HAD to participate even though they so clearly did not.

Afterwards she suggested we do it at our wedding and I just said "Yeah, I'll think about it."

My point:  those nearest and dearest may not want to hurt your feelings that your idea is kind of tacky.  So I wouldn't necessarily take what they say at face value. 

Also, people see through cutesy poems asking for money. 

courtney1188

Oh man, please don't do it. I'm also of the opinion that your guests should not feel obligated to pull out their wallets at your wedding. You may say it's optional, but come on, you know people will feel pressured. They already bought you a nice gift and/or gave you money and took the time to come celebrate with you. I think it's just a really bad idea.

matuofm

I'm definitely with Meg and Rachael and others on the idea that I wouldn't find this fun, just annoying and grabby.  But if you'd like to have a raffle because you think it's adorable and thematic, maybe you could do it as a sort of guest favor - YOU put up the money for the gift, and everyone gets a raffle ticket at their place setting - then the raffle's held at a certain point in the night, and one or more people go home with a surprise large gift.

abbeylynne06

Tacky!  Guests always end up feeling pressured to give money, which is NOT a good feeling.  Things like this always make me feel so awkward. 

Also, besides it being tacky, it always seems to me that things like this (and the dollar dance, etc) start to interrupt the "flow" of the reception...

Suzette70

I hate any situation at a wedding that asks guests for money.  Even though its a choice it makes people uncomfortable.

janicejab

  I agree that it's tacky to ask guests for money. Even if it's optional, people still feel obligated to participate as a good guestIf you must include it in your reception, maybe you could make escort or placecards that look like raffle tickets. Or just give everyone a raffle ticket that enters them into a drawing for a prize.
  I understand wanting to fund your honeymoon, but that's kind of your reponsibility, not your guests' responsibility. If you can't afford a honeymoon now, maybe go on a mini-moon up north or something less expensive and save up for a trip later- maybe for your one year anniversary.

jolla92126

Please don't, even for charity.

klreese0213

i understatand how the sentiment for it it cutesy. but also get why it'd be seen as tacky...

i like PP's mention of giving everyone a raffle and you footing the bill for a gift.
Or have a table of gifts, each guest gets a couple tickets and they can put their ticket in whichever gift theyd like to win... would be a fun twist.

corinne2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_tackyor-fun-exciting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:5fc6c293-277e-4b8c-81dd-bf38f3f0e5dePost:1276ba68-4ccc-4570-9268-653bb4811492">Tacky....or fun and exciting....</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I've been reading on different sites that this is COMPLETELY tacky....We were thinking of doing a 50/50 raffle at our wedding.  Now, while some could compare to the Dollar Dance, this is to pay tribute to how we met.....at bowling.  Most of our friends that will be there we both bowl with.  And how many people do you know leave a wedding with money.  I can see some of the Cheese factor, but it's all in fun.  <strong>We are by far greedy people, but hey, it could help with the honeymoon.</strong> I'm sure there's going to be some negative thoughts right away, and I wasn't keen on it first either until I saw the whole picture.  It's a choice, you don't have to participate if you don't want to....no mandatory decision. I even though of writing a poem about it to introduce it....so it doesn't come across as "hey, give me your money"
Posted by TJSnyder[/QUOTE]

At least you're willing to admit your greediness. That's just all around tacky and rude--charity or not. I'm also not a fan of dollar dances and fought tooth and nail with DH on that. I won. You're saying "hey come to my wedding. Pay money to dance with me. It would also be awesome if you gave us more money as a gift." No. Work an extra job to help pay for your honeymoon, don't ask others for money.

And, I think your friends that you asked about their opinions on the 50/50 were just not willing to be honest. They didn't want to hurt your feelings.

sunkissed212

Your reception is supposed to be your 'Thank You' to your guests for celebrating the special occasion of your marriage with you and your new husband. 

A 50/50 raffle, regardless of the meaning behind it, is not appropriate in this setting. Obviously, it's your choice what you decide to do. But, asking people for money at your reception....is not how you say "Thank you for coming to share our special day".

rak123

Tacky, sorry.  

TJSnyder

I respect everyone's replies and thank you for your honesty.  I'm by far a greedy person, nor is my fiance.  I'm not looking at it as a money maker, lord knows that.  I cherish my real friends and the fact that they can be honest with me and not bullcrap me, otherwise they would be an aquintance.  I'm not trashy, and looked at it in a positive way of giving someone a large unexpected gift.  Of the 200 we are expecting, I can honestly say that over half would not feel obligated.  Because those people know us and know that we never ask for anything and are the ones that are most likely to understand if someone couldn't participate.  My gosh, we can't even talk to our parents about how much they are able to help with because we appreciate whatever they are able to help with.  That's just how we are.  We don't ask for help with anything unless it's bare bones.  I didn't see dollar signs in my eyes, but in someone else's eyes when we talked about this idea. 

Thank you all though.  I would rather you be honest than blow smoke up my a**...lol.