Honeymoon Registry- worth it?

jbasore1123

So my FI and I are debating doing a honeymoon registry. We have two other registries with BBB and Sears but wanted another option for guests that want to do something different and not just give cash. However, I'm wondering if enough of our guests would even look at it (i.e., want to do something different) and those that just want to give cash will still just give cash and not be interested in doing it this way. We have a lot on our other registries so far (134 items, both big and small) and are inviting about 200 (expecting probably 150)

So what are your thoughts? Worth it?

Francesvm

I think its ok to still add in a 3rd option. I never give cash at showers only because I wouldn't want the bride/groom to think I didn't put in any effort. That being said, the last shower I went to, I knew, since I was the MOH, that they really wanted/needed money so I got them a small gift and gave them money in a card. I think setting up a honeymoon registry is a less obvious way to say - Hey, just give us money! But I don't think its tacky or anything so I think its a good way to get financial contribution without directly asking for money. Some people may be relieved to be able to just do something simple without having to go out and get the spoons off of your registry,

rubyluv

we love our Hm registry...we used Honeyfund.com  and the people who have used it loved the idea of it...plus it's free ( you can pay an extra $30 for a fancier website)  You just need a paypal account that accepts charges (easy and free) we ddn't have one before we made the website.  I reccomend it!  We love it!

emarston1

Personally, I am not a fan.  Not because I think they are tacky but *most* charge a fee for taking the money (and yes, even PayPal does.)  I'd rather cut you a check for $100 than you only get $95 of it (or whatever the fee ends up being).

Plus the point of showers and registeries is to get you items to start your life together, and your honeymoon doesn't really fit in that category IMHO.

ladysunkissed

I love the idea of a honeymoon registry and really wanted to do one. But, we got an incredible deal on Expedia for our honeymoon (close to half the price others had paid before us), so we just went ahead and booked it before the prices went back up. Regardless, traveling is my favorite thing in the world and no one would have batted an eye if they heard we registered for our honeymoon.

Rubyluv, how does Honeyfund work? Where do you register for your honeymoon (i.e. Expedia, Orbitz, etc.)?

mordacious

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:96f24d0b-89ec-48f4-a5f0-f0d9e9459218">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Where do you register for your honeymoon (i.e. Expedia, Orbitz, etc.)?
Posted by ladysunkissed[/QUOTE]

You don't, at least not on honeyfund. You just make descriptions for things you want to do like scuba diving or a dinner on the beach for two. Then you estimate a cost and people can buy it for you and you are paid through paypal. Whether you actually do any of it is up to you.

We made a honeyfund but I don't expect much to come of it. I'll be honest though, I need cold hard cash more than new dish towels! At the same time I don't expect anyone to show to our shower with a receipt print out from honeyfund so we'll see how it goes.

ladysunkissed

Oh, gotcha. I think that's a great idea. I'm not even having a shower because we don't need anything. But we do want to do a few things like deep sea fishing, golf, etc. on our honeymoon. I'll have to look into Honeyfund. Thanks for the tip!

Julz629

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:a2d064fb-5893-4c9b-981f-f291a97fc11d">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I am not a fan.  Not because I think they are tacky but *most* charge a fee for taking the money (and yes, even PayPal does.)  I'd rather cut you a check for $100 than you only get $95 of it (or whatever the fee ends up being). Plus the point of showers and registeries is to get you items to start your life together, and your honeymoon doesn't really fit in that category IMHO.
Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

I'm with emarston on this one.  It just doesn't feel right to me.  I mean, I know that if I give you cash, you can easily turn and spend this on your honeymoon, but I'd prefer that rather than paying directly towards your honeymoon.  I feel like the gift I give is for the two of you and building your new life, and a vacation isn't really building your life together.

I am not going to judge anyone for doing a honeymoon registry, but I just don't like it and I wouldn't give to it. 

boogerbearoriginal

I'm gonna jump on the not for me bandwagon. I think asking for cash is a big no-no and that's essentially what you are doing. Its not as though I am actually getting those things for the bride/groom, just paying a fee to wire them some cash that they may/may not use on their honeymoon.

If all the registry is doing is getting you money, what's the point? I guess I'd feel differently if I were actually buying a scuba lesson/etc for you, but I'd rather write a check if I'm going to give cash.

mordacious

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:ef67138e-ce34-4b61-a948-dcef3fa6eeb5">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm gonna jump on the not for me bandwagon. I think asking for cash is a big no-no and that's essentially what you are doing. Its not as though I am actually getting those things for the bride/groom, just paying a fee to wire them some cash that they may/may not use on their honeymoon. If all the registry is doing is getting you money, what's the point? I guess I'd feel differently if I were actually buying a scuba lesson/etc for you, but I'd rather write a check if I'm going to give cash.
Posted by Booger+Bear[/QUOTE]

I get what you are saying, and some people may take advantage of a honeymoon registry by just pocketing the cash, but we actually listed thing we want to do and the actual cost. I've been living on my own for 5 years and 2 of those with FI. We have almost everything we need. What we don't have we'll register for but I'm not going to register for stuff we don't need or want just because we need more items on the registry. For us the honeymoon registry make sense.

After all of this wedding business is said and done I will probably never buy a wedding gift for someone. Have some money and do what you want with it!

Julz629

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:fa99bce4-5262-44a3-9a15-ec094e6c768c">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it? : I get what you are saying, and some people may take advantage of a honeymoon registry by just pocketing the cash, but we actually listed thing we want to do and the actual cost. I've been living on my own for 5 years and 2 of those with FI. We have almost everything we need. What we don't have we'll register for but I'm not going to register for stuff we don't need or want just because we need more items on the registry. For us the honeymoon registry make sense. After all of this wedding business is said and done I will probably never buy a wedding gift for someone. Have some money and do what you want with it!
Posted by mordacious[/QUOTE]

I am completely with you on this mordacious.  By the time I get married, FI and I will have lived on our own for 5 years, FI will have had his house for 4 years, and we will have lived together for 1.  Between combining both of our things, and adding in the fact that my parents sold their house to move to their second home that was already furnished, thus causing me to inherit a whole set of Pfaltzgraff dishes (less than 5 years old), Calphalon pots and pans, a whole set of La-Z-Boy family room furniture, and a whole bedroom set.  So we're pretty much set.  And we can't even say we're saving money for a new house. 

What we're doing is registering for a few things at BB&B -- some things we'd like to replace and/or upgrade, some house decorations (I'm still transitioning his "bachelore pad"), as well as a few items we've never splurged on before.  We are also registering for a few household items at either Home Depot or Lowe's.  What we want to do more than anything is some home improvement projects (kitchen, bathrooms, etc) so we are hoping that people will do Home Depot or Lowe's gift cards, or just cash.

mordacious

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:f4ab561d-9008-4961-a9f4-ec0b3b75a5d6">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it? : I am completely with you on this mordacious.  By the time I get married, FI and I will have lived on our own for 5 years, FI will have had his house for 4 years, and we will have lived together for 1.  Between combining both of our things, and adding in the fact that my parents sold their house to move to their second home that was already furnished, thus causing me to inherit a whole set of Pfaltzgraff dishes (less than 5 years old), Calphalon pots and pans, a whole set of La-Z-Boy family room furniture, and a whole bedroom set.  So we're pretty much set.  And we can't even say we're saving money for a new house.  What we're doing is registering for a few things at BB&B -- some things we'd like to replace and/or upgrade, some house decorations (I'm still transitioning his "bachelore pad"), as well as a few items we've never splurged on before.  We are also registering for a few household items at either Home Depot or Lowe's.  What we want to do more than anything is some home improvement projects (kitchen, bathrooms, etc) so we are hoping that people will do Home Depot or Lowe's gift cards, or just cash.
Posted by jholbel[/QUOTE]

Same here, we are registering at BBB, Lowes or Home Depot and Honeyfund.

boogerbearoriginal

Mordacious - We're in a similar position too with living together for 3 years plus living on our own separately beforehand. Mostly we're upgrading, better pans, matching dishes, new towels/sheets, kitchen gadgets that are wants, etc.

I don't think there's anything wrong with honeymoon registry, well except that you have to pay a fee which IMO is sucky, but its just not something we're doing. I don't think they are any more 'tacky' than a regular registry because ultimately you're just asking for gifts either way.

mordacious

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:f4029f5e-8b1c-423e-99b3-b89e5c97585a">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there's anything wrong with honeymoon registry, well except that you have to pay a fee which IMO is sucky, but its just not something we're doing. I don't think they are any more 'tacky' than a regular registry because ultimately you're just asking for gifts either way.
Posted by Booger+Bear[/QUOTE]

Yeah, the small paypal fee sucks but maybe it helps people feel like they are actually buying the couple something rather than just forking over the money :)

Knottie1435582995

I've never been a fan of the honeymoon registry.  No offense to anyone who as decided to use it, but I feel like it's tacky, and I've heard the same from a number of my relatives.  One of my cousins used on last year and most of the family was quite taken aback by it and felt that it was inappropriate.  Thus, I wouldn't ever use one.

That being said, I also am in the same boat as some of you.  I've been living on my own for 4 years and with my FI for nearly 3.  We bought a home in June, and between my stuff and his stuff and the numerous housewarming gifts we got this summer, there is really very little that we need.  I have registries at Macy's and Kohls for some of the bigger ticket items we've never splurged on (i.e. My Beloved Dyson Ball) and a few smaller upgrade things.  However, there is not NEARLY enough on our registries for all of our guests.  On my wedding website, before the registries are listed my FI and I wrote a very heartfelt note to our guests explaining the lack of registry items (and their expense) and giving them a number of other ideas (i.e. Lowe's/Home Depot gift cards for our house renos, restaurant gift cards because we're total foodies, etc).  Most of our family is giving us money because they know we need it.  With a new house (read: mortgage) and 6 figure debt for law school for the two of us, they know we really can use it.

shadow0304

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:37c30903-d11e-4c5a-9ca5-b69314486c8a">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it? : Yeah, the small paypal fee sucks but maybe it helps people feel like they are actually buying the couple something rather than just forking over the money :)
Posted by mordacious[/QUOTE]

People don't even have to pay the PayPal fee if they use Honeyfund. They can just give you cash/check at your shower and print off a receipt that they are donating to your fund. We have a Honeyfund account as well as a Myresistry.com one.

I think if the people invited to your shower/wedding are ok with the honeymoon registry, then don't worry about it. But there seems to be 2 schools of thought on this one and this subject is evil on the Honeymoon or Registering & Gifts board.  According to them, you will rot in hell if you set one up ;)

Like others, I've been living on my own for over 10 yrs, me and my FI have 2 of everything- I don't need a stainless steel toaster when we have 2, I don't even want a Dyson vacuum cleaner! So what the heck does one do when honestly money would be greatly appreciated and USED for the honeymoon? I don't look at it like a 'vacation' like many people term it. I know it's not a necessity, but at least it's something we will both enjoy and not have to return more towels, something we don't need.

jbasore1123

We are debating whether or not to go through a place like honeyfund or somewhere else but also didnt like that they charge. Our travel agent stated that we can give people that are interested her contact information and pay her (rather than us) directly toward an excursion or anything else. We were thinking about making our own website with info on what their money could go to and let them know who to call. That way, they know their money is going to something specific. Once all the excursions are paid for, the travel agent will let people know and we can put that on the website.
Is that tacky???

bmhynek

We have set up a honeymoon fund, so obviously my vote is for YES go for it.  I personally think it's kind of ridiculous that people find it "offensive/tacky" to sign up for a honeymoon fund.  All of us as brides are "asking" for things that we need/want...... if you need/want money to pay for the honeymoon than by all means sign up for it!!

Honestly I don't think it's any different than straight up asking for gift cards to places either.

Also, I think a honeymoon is definitely "building a new life together".  It is one of the first things you do together as a married couple.  Memories are made on honeymoons and to me, I'd much rather have memories to last a lifetime than a pan that will find itself in the back of a cabinet in a few years.

Ok, sorry for the rant, lol!  We set up our honeymoon fund through our travel agent - just seems like the easiest thing to do and doesn't cost a penny!

shadow0304

I have to say, I just received our first Honeyfund notice that someone bought off this registry! They got us the 'snorkeling excursion' and I don't see anything in my PayPal account, so my assumption is that they bring the money/check to the shower. I don't want to look anymore at the registries... I don't like spoiling surprises!!

leeshab1982

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_honeymoon-registry-worth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:74ba2c00-d3fe-4401-adc8-6a852a0ca19cPost:d389739c-4f4a-44e0-a1ba-24c46bf6d999">Re: Honeymoon Registry- worth it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly I don't think it's any different than straight up asking for gift cards to places either. [/QUOTE]

I agree.  It doesn't make sense to me that some people find it tacky to register for a honeymoon excursion, but registering for a $500 vacuum cleaner is perfectly fine.  I say register for whatever it is that you need/want.  If people don't agree, they won't buy off of it, just like jholbel said.  The people who know you well enough will want to get you the things you want most no matter if it's pots and pans or a snorkeling excursion. 

We aren't doing a honeymoon fund, but one of my close friends is and I'd be happy to purchase something from it for her.