MOH speech question

baileyleev

Ok ladies...so my step dad just told me that he and my sister (MOH) are planning on doing a speech together because she only wants to say something quick. 

I don't know why, but this really upsets me...I would really like my sister to give a full MOH toast/speech and not have it shared. Am I wrong to feel this way?

How would you guys feel about this as a bride? Or as a guest? 

brandym22

I would want my MOH to have bit of a longer speech... but not too terribly long, not wham bam thank you mam either. Maybe she jsut doesn want to talk in public but feels like she needs to say something because that is what is approporiate for the MOH. That being said, I wouldnt let myself be upset- I am sure my MOH and BMan both wont give long speeches. I would actually prefer mini speeches from all of my BMs... again , that probably wont happen either. My wedding party are all king of a bunch of duds- yay me.

Maybe ask anothe rone of your close frineds that is next in line- or all of them- that if you want to say a few words you would be happy. Or jsut accept the speeches are they are and focus on what makes you happy on your day!

mlynn1223

I think it would depend on how it was done.  If she just gets up and says, "love ya, thanks, here's ..." I would be a little upset.  However, if it is done in a loving, kind of tag team way, I would be ok with that.  They would have put some thought and planning into it and would be showing how they care about you and your new husband in a way that works for them/her.  I hope my MOH gives a relatively short speech.  

Sue-n-Kevin

Sometimes you just have to trust the people involved.

Perhaps your sister is not good at writing something down that she wants to say from her heart. Some people are nervous about speaking in front of a crowd as well. Perhaps your dad is such a great speech giver she feels she'll be inadequate.

My example: my son was in our wedding party last year, he was 24. Because my dad was in his 80's, he was not comfortable getting up to speak. My son took over for my dad as the "host" in this situation, and would NOT tell us what he was going to say. I was a bit nervous, but had to have trust. He got up and said some really great things, and then he let loose with probably the funniest line of the night, and had everyone laughing hysterically. It was not mean spirited, it was actually quite funny.

Before you make any assumptions, ask your sister about her reluctance. You may find it is something she can't overcome and you will have to accept her reasons. In that case, if you feel the need for a longer speech, ask her if she'd be upset if you asked someone to present the speech you think needs to be said.

Good luck.

baileyleev

Great advice everyone! Thank you! And thank you Sue, you always give very heartfelt advice and I know we all appreciate it!

I am just going to trust them, and I'm sure I'll love whatever they do. 

Jashley05

My sisters were both my maid of honors and one lives long distance, and the other is a full time student so they didn't really find time to write a speech. I found out the day of that they were writing their speech while we were all getting our hair done. I was a bit nervous, but it was probably the best speech I have ever heard. It truly captured their personalities and our relationships. Just sit back and let whatever it may be happen, you may be surprised!

sinnedambition

My sister (my moh) didn't give a speech at all. I was hurt at first, but realized it was better off that way. More time for the fun!

MrsGilliatt

I believe there was a time...many moons ago...when only the Best Man made a toast on behalf of the entire Bridal Party. 

That said, I was very thrilled when my best friend asked me to speak as the Maid of Honor at her wedding reception - but I made sure to keep it short, cute and humorous. 

Now that the tables have turned - I will certainly offer/allow her to speak - but if she doesn't want to - or just wants to say "cheers" I'm ok with that.  The Best Man on the other hand; needs to take a minute to toast the newlyweds properly!

As long as having your step-dad speak was already in the game plan - I wouldn't worry too much about it.