Guest List Question

LOTON01

One of the hardest parts about planning for me has been the guest list. My family is large and we have ton of close family friends. We are inviting 288 people right now at this point. My fi was not happy about this he really wanted to stick to 200. We are both comfortable right now and okay with the 288 but I keep running into situations were I am feeling the need to invite more people.

For instance My little brothers girlfriend sister is getting married this October. My parents are invited to her wedding however, I wasn't planning on inviting her parents to our wedding and I was okay with that. Over the weekend I received a shower invite and was informed that we are also invited to the wedding. So now I feel the need to not only invite her parents but also her and her husband. Then I feel that I can't invite my brothers girlfriend parents without inviting my sisters boyfriend parents.

So right there another additional 6 people. Ahhh

What do you ladies think, do I need to invite them because they are inviting us? Do I need to invite all 6 of them?

emarston1

Invitations are not tit for tat.  Just because you will be invited to theirs does not mean you have to invite them to yours.  If you weren't planning on inviting them initially, I wouldn't add them to this list.

My general rule of thumb was that if I didn't care whether or not they got an invitation, they didn't get one.  Your guestlist has already ballooned up over what you initially had wanted so don't add more stress to yourselves by feeling you have to invite these people when you truly don't have to.

Sue-n-Kevin

I understand the need to feel obligated to invite people. However, in reviewing Martha Stewart's Wedding website, there are many "sticky situations" covered, and I've looked at it more than once, LOL.

There is no need for a "quid pro quo" feeling for wedding invitations. For example, last fall Kevin & I were invited to my cousin's daughter's wedding. Our cutoff however is first cousins and spouses ONLY..........not their kids. We also are invited this coming Saturday to one of his "step-nephew's" weddings, however, they did not make our cut here again, and we invited the parents of the "step-nephew", but not the step-nephew and his new wife.

These are tough decisions, but IMO it's better to be brutal with your guest list now than worry about how you are going to pay for all these "niceties" later. That's without even considering the number of people who will potentially add a "plus 1" when you had no intention of inviting one.

Good luck.

Meegles4

Ditto Liz and Sue. But man is it hard. I feel ya and let us know if you devise a non-difficult way to get out of these situations :-)

baileyleev

I feel for ya! I am in a similar situation! I think the PP gave great advice! Good luck!!!!!

songbrd410

I agree with PP's too.  But the guest list, in my opinion, has been the worst thing in this whole planning process and I've even lost venues and vendors!