Michigan-Detroit

What's your take on this....

I was lurking on the E board and someone asked if it would be rude to have a small cake for the ceremonial cutting, but not provide cake as a dessert, but rather have a cheesecake in a martini glass bar.  The consensus was that it would be rude to eat something that you would not be providing to all of the guests.  I guess I just don't see taking a small bite of a cake as really eating something that I'm not providing guests.  Although I've taken away a lot of very valuable advice from the E board - I do think they overthink things sometimes.  I was wondering if this is one of those times.

Probably the main point of this post is that I was thinking of doing something similar.  We are really trying to celebrate Detroit and we are doing Detroit themed foodstations:  Corktown, Hamtramck, Mexicantown and Greektown.  We are serving Faygo pop and for dessert we were going to have Vernors ice cream float shooters, mini bumpycakes, and Sanders cream puffs.  I also wanted a small cake for the cake cutting ceremony.  Is it really that much of a breach of etiquette as the E board claims??

Re: What's your take on this....

  • Love your idea of Detroit themed food stations! 

    I can see how some guests might be disappointed if they don't get to have a slice of traditional wedding cake.  Maybe you could have a small sheet cake cut up in the kitchen and served as an option for guests? (Then you could still have a small round for cake cutting?) 

    Or you could use a not-so-mini bumpy cake for your cake cutting ceremony?
  • i really dont see an issue with it but then again we arent serving cake which sent shudders down my mil's spine so maybe i'm the wrong person to ask about that... =)
  • I mean I don't think anyone will notice or care as long as your guests aren't getting something that seems obiously inferior to what you and your H are eating right in front of them.  Like you get cake and they get a blow pop.  Or their cheesecake slice is the size of a quarter. 

  • I love your Detroit food theme too! I don't see a problem with what you described since your guests will get deserts. If possible you may want to make their deserts available right after you cut your cake so that they understand. Or like Sarah said have a larger bumpy cake for your cake to match what your guests get.
  • I don't think it's a big deal. You can also just cut one of your other desserts if you want. Like PP said, one of the bumpy cakes or maybe you could feed each other a cream puff (I think that'd be cute).
    June 16, 2012
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  • I personally don't think it's a big deal so long as the guests aren't getting like...lolipops and you're eating decadent cake, y'know?

    I personally hate cake, so when there are other desert options I much prefer it.
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  • I have often seen the comments on not having a cake for yourselves if you are not serving it to others. Usually the comments I see the most are that "only" the bride and groom are getting yummy cake, but the guests are getting something that is second best.

    Often, the standard responses are to have sheet cakes cut in the back room, with cake that is similar to the one you are cutting, in taste and kind. However, since you are having so many Detroit type desserts (which I LOVE!), you might want to cut & serve each other something off the dessert station table instead of a traditional yet very small wedding type cake. Bumpy cake is really messy, but the cream puffs might work.

    If you are really set on having a small traditional type cake, make it REALLY small so it's obvious it's being done for photo op only. It shouldn't be so large that people at the wedding (like me who loves wedding cake, LOL) feel slighted.

    Another alternative, if you also wanted to offer cake, the sheet cakes at Costco are FABULOUS and have mousse centers between layers. Each sheet cake serves 48, and they are about $17. They do one that is all white with lots of frosting roses and would look like wedding cake when cut. That would probably be cheaper per person than some of the other desserts you mentioned, and could supplement what you are doing. This could be cut in the back as explained above. I happen to be a frosting freak and LOVE Costco's frosting.
  • chellekelchellekel member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2012
    Ugghhh...I'm actually not a big fan of bumpy cake, but I guess I can suck it up and have the small cake for cutting also be a bumpy cake.  Thank you very much everyone for your opinions.

    And just becasue I'm so excited by our menu, I thought I'd share....

    Corktown:  individual sheppard's pie, roasted potato casserole, sliced corned beef, roasted fall vegetables, and soda bread.

    Hamtramck:  potato & cheese peirogis, Kielbasa, braised cabbage, german potato salad

    Mexicantown:  quesofundido w/chorizo, chicken mole, chilquiles, shrimp ceviche w/tostada shells

    Greektown:  Moussaka w/ground beef and eggplant, saginaki, hummus & tabbouleh, and mini spanikpotia

    Edited for spelling
  • Costco does have some extremely good cake and is very affordable. I agree Sue.  And guests definitely wouldn't notice or care if they got a nice piece of cake from wherever while the couple ate a slice of what's on display cause nobody is staring that hard after you smush each other's faces with it if they have their own slice of something on a regular sized saucer (not super small) right in front of them.
  • Chekellel: your menu sounds AMAZING!!! Great idea!!!
  • very cool & totally fine. A friend had a small cake to cut & then had a table of cupcakes. No one will care or mind, especially when you have all of that other deliciousness going on. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Your menu sounds AMAZING!!!  What a great way to celebrate Detroit!!
  • I have nothing further to add advice wise but I just wanted to say that I agree your menu sounds amazing!
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