For curosity's sake....

carpediem27

I am almost scared to ask this after what I saw on another forum but I am curious as to your opinions on this subject, as I stumbled upon a HUGE war over this on another board and you ladies are typically more level headed....

What are your opinions or what did you do with your head tables? Was it/ will it be just you and DH? Or the WP? Or the WP and their guest?

The OP of this other board was absolutely vilified for suggesting that her WP would sit and the head table and their 'plus ones' would be mixed with the other guests. The poor girl was called names, such as rude and a d*ck for her plan and I felt pretty bad for her. I guess it never dawned on me that this was such a 'hot button' issue.
What do you ladies think?

FWIW, I plan to have the WP at the head table with me, my sister's H with my parents and our friends SO's will sit with each other and the rest of our friends since they are friends anyway which seems fair to me. FI sat with my parents when I was MOH in my sisters wedding and it was fine with me.

chadandsarahm

I didn't realize it was so controversial, either! If given the choice, I would rather sit with my FI if I was standing up in a wedding, but it wouldn't bother me if we didn't. It's mostly just for dinner, then everyone moves around after so seating is not really important. That being said, I am pretty lax when it comes to things like this, so I'm not sure if it would be proper.

I have no idea what we are doing yet. We are hoping for a strolling dinner, so we may not even have assigned seating. 

mlynn1223

Wow, that is horrible!  I had no idea it was such a big deal either.  The way we are doing it is DH and I in the middle then to my right are my BM and to his left are his GM.  The bridal parties guests are interspersed with all the other guests depending on their personalities.  I cannot believe it is such a big issue where people sit.  Like Chadandsarahm said, it's just for dinner and everybody mingles.  

sopraffina

We're having a sweetheart table. Our WP will sit with their dates with the other guests.

I don't think it is controversial. Some people just have psychological issues and like to be mean to strangers.

spartybride3

I've noticed on the other boards that people are VERY rude and think they know everything that there is to possibly know about weddings and whatever they say is gospel. 

Our wedding party is sitting at the head table with us. Two member are married and the rest of the dates will know other guests at the wedding. My fiance and I have both been in weddings where we were at a "date" table or were mixed in with other guests & while it kinda sucks if you don't know people, it was for like an hour & really not that big of a deal. 

Sue-n-Kevin

Some people just have psychological issues and like to be mean to strangers

Soprafinna, I like your explanation best of all. I do agree with you, it's amazing how people cannot be civil.

Because we already had our own families (ie kids) when we married, we had our kids and our parents at our table. Worked out perfectly. Only one of our kids had a significant other, and we put him at a table where he knew people.

emarston1

I understand the logic behind the argument that they are rude--you are breaking up a couple.  Would you have any other couple at your wedding sitting at separate tables?  No so why would you do it to your wedding party?

That being said, we had a head table.  All the +1's of the wedding party knew people at the event so they were seated with those they were friends with.  I've never actually been to a wedding where they didn't have a head table so I didn't know any differently.

I also agree with PPs that it's really just for dinner and then everyone moves around anyway.  I say, if head tables are common in your circle, then you're fine.  There are much more rude things I can think of that are "tradition" than headtables.

zulamay

We had a head table and our plus 1's sat at different tables with people they knew or could connect with.  No one complained.   It would have been super weird for us not to, because we did an entrance with the WP, and the plus 1s would have been sitting at a table by themselves in the interim. 

People get hung up on the weirdest things.  I've had multiple people tell me that our wedding was the most fun they've ever been to.  The key for me was to make sure people were comfortable, had good food, and let the rest of the little details go.  I think people forget that when wedding planning.  You're there because you love the guy, not because of what people think. 

whitemt03

We have a lot of freedom with the venue in terms of layout & have the room for a long table, so we are doing a head table with all our wedding party and their significant others.  I saw this done at another wedding I was a bridesmaid for and really enjoyed it. 

acaponi87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_for-curositys-sake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:b56fcaf8-41b1-4128-8a05-a1930d9006bePost:17f19a25-3fbc-499f-a283-566f47bf796e">Re: For curosity's sake....</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We had a head table and our plus 1's sat at different tables with people they knew or could connect with.  No one complained.   It would have been super weird for us not to, because we did an entrance with the WP, and the plus 1s would have been sitting at a table by themselves in the interim. </strong> People get hung up on the weirdest things.  I've had multiple people tell me that our wedding was the most fun they've ever been to.  The key for me was to make sure people were comfortable, had good food, and let the rest of the little details go.  I think people forget that when wedding planning.  You're there because you love the guy, not because of what people think. 
Posted by zulamay[/QUOTE]

This is what we're doing. Honestly I've only been to 1 wedding where the dates of the WP sat up there with them and everyone thought that was crazy. It's just for dinner, everyone will be fine.

larzhope

personally, we had a sweetheart table and our wp sat with their dates.  at some point during the night EVERY single member of our wedding party thanked us for that - they did not want to be away from their significant others - especially because most of their significant others didn't know anyone else, so it would've been awkward. 

That being said, I've been the date of someone who was standing up in a wedding and I only knew 1 other person.  I managed.  it wasn't fun, but it wasn't the end of the world either.

having wp + dates up at the head table seems like a zoo to me!