Michigan-Detroit
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suprising break ups

So, this is a wedding board, so it might be inappropriate to post this, but it's dead so I thought I would throw it out there and see if any of you experienced this before.

I have a friend who got married last September.  He and his wife always seemed very happy and very devoted to one another. In fact we took a trip to visit them a few months before the wedding and I remember thinking how respectful they were of each other and how glad I was that my friend found such a great partner...fast forward about 6 months- she spent their wedding money on new boobs and divorced him.

Has anyone else been fooled before? She is still a nice girl and all that, but i really though they would make it, and they didn't last a year. Obviously I am sad for him, but I'm sure he will be fine. It made me think twice about my abilities as a character judge though, lol
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Re: suprising break ups

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    edited December 2011
    WOW.  I don't have any experiences to share but just, WOW - spent the money on new boobs?  And then divorced him?  Wow is all I have to say.
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    edited December 2011
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    Julz629Julz629 member
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    edited December 2011
    Sometimes relationships can be pretty deceiving as you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.  I am a pretty private person and FI and I had some really rough times when we first moved in together -- we dealt with everything personally, don't fight in front of others, and I don't really tell many people about our disagreements.  We're doing great now and we made it (obviously), but I'm sure some of my friends didn't realize we were having tough times.

    It also makes me sad when marriages end so quickly.  But then hey, I guess it's better than dragging them out for years and possibly adding kids to the mix, right?

    It makes me very sad to think about the divorce rate and all my friends' weddings I have been to and realizing that some of them are likely to end in divorce.  Two of my friends have already gone through divorces and I think one of my other friends is very close if things don't change soon.
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    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with everything you said Julie, I was just surprised it happened so quickly.  I know that my relationship hasn't been 7 years of sunshine and kittens, for sure. I doubt anyone's is (though if you have that relationship, please share how it happens;Tongue out)

    I was talking with one of my girlfriends a few years ago and she was telling me she thinks so and so will divorce and I thought that every couple would really last. She finally called me out and said "You cannot seriously think every single married couple you know is going to make it the distance!"  But i do...I'm kind of a Polyanna in that respect I guess.
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    Julz629Julz629 member
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    edited December 2011

    I have one friend who her and her husband openly fight in front of each other -- screaming, swearing, the whole nine yards.  I have been a witness to many of these situations and it makes me very uncomfortable.  And for how unhappy they seem with each other, I truly feel that they would never divorce.  They are the kind of people who are just happy with being unhappy (does that make sense?) and I don't think either of them would take the initiative to actually end things.

    But I'm with you...I honestly believe that most of my friends are happy together and they are good couples and I am going to be shocked if any of them get a divorce.  Maybe that will change as the years go on though?

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    edited December 2011
    Wow..I agree with PP.  That totally sucks.  I hope your friend is doing alright and realizes he is obviously much  better off now!

    I don't really know of anyone who has been in a similar situation, but do have a few couples I know that I think would be better off not together...but then again as Julie said, I guess I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, and I'm all for people working through their issues.
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, just wow. Who would do that?

    The whole divorce thing is just so sad. I'm only 25, and one of my few married friends I think is heading right down that path already. She even says in front of him "I shouldn't have gotten married" He's the nicest guy, but she's all "he's not ambitious enough and doesn't make enough money"... um, shallow much? Also she's going to be a pharmacist so it's not like they'll be hurting for cash. Bah! People.
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    edited December 2011
    I think a lot of what happens, at least in my circle, is that the people who got together very young and married are now divorcing. DH and a lot of his friends married their high school or college sweethearts, and you change so much as a person and just grow apart and are no longer compatible. Or buy new boobs and take off.

    And I agree with Julie about the misery loves company couples. I can't stand those.
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    edited December 2011
    I actually am friends with one of those miserable couples. Some people just function that way I guess? It seems exhausting to be mad all the time.  I just try to mind my own business when they yell at each other!

    I will admit about my friend though, his ex-wife's boobs are pretty fantastic now( and since technically I chipped in for them, i feel it's ok to have an opinion).  Personally I think she was maybe a little to young to get married, but who knows. It takes all kinds I guess!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_suprising-break-ups?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:bf0ae2a4-7b5c-4cde-a198-8b64961913ffPost:3b6875c0-5a94-4948-8ce8-56ca142c8ec6">Re: suprising break ups</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have one friend who her and her husband openly fight in front of each other -- screaming, swearing, the whole nine yards.  I have been a witness to many of these situations and it makes me very uncomfortable.  And for how unhappy they seem with each other, I truly feel that they would never divorce.  They are the kind of people who are just happy with being unhappy (does that make sense?) and I don't think either of them would take the initiative to actually end things. But I'm with you...I honestly believe that most of my friends are happy together and they are good couples and I am going to be shocked if any of them get a divorce.  Maybe that will change as the years go on though?
    Posted by jholbel[/QUOTE]

    OMG do you know one my friends? Seriously when couples fight in public it is the most uncomfortable feeling.

    I think, and granted I have never been through a divorce nor am I trying to imply in any way that its easy, but I still believe that some people take marriage too lightly and that leads to more divorces. Some people find the big wedding appealing and think that marriage will be easy because they're happy this second and don't take the time to fully learn about themselves/their partner. I really wish premarital counseling could somehow be required to get married.
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    emarston1emarston1 member
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    edited December 2011
    The whole thing makes me sad.  It breaks my heart to hear about marriages falling apart.  I can't imagine going from being so in love with FI to wanting nothing to do with him.  Where does that love go?

    On a side note, I am very proud I made Erin's sig quote!
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    edited December 2011
    Ahhh...this post is interesting. The stories I have could seriously be on Jerry Springer....We all grew up in a nice, middle class community.... I don't get it...one friend is raising the child from her husbands affair, the bride and best man ended up together in another scenario and theres 3 more similar stories of the top of my head I can think of...

    Its very sad and Im so glad I waited until I was in my late 20's to get married. I feel ready and mature enough to handle such a huge life decision. Thankfully,  have a pretty rocking guy so that always helps....some people marry trouble thinking they will be different once they are married.
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    Lisa7310Lisa7310 member
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    edited December 2011

    I agree with Julie on this! I was married before and got divorced within less than 3 years. I was a very private person and never fought in front of others and we would deal with our arguments in private. However, shortly after we got married, my ex became physical. I almost left him about 8 months after the wedding, but I found out I was pregnant. I tried to make it work but he became worse and even got violent around our child. I finally left when he was one and I can tell you everyone was very surprised and could not believe any of this happened without them knowing. Some people just don't share all of the intimate details and things can change in the blink of an eye.

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