Gift Etiquette

mrsbunyip

So, I haven't been to a wedding since I was around ten years old, so I need help.  When I go to my SIL's bridal shower, am I supposed to buy off the registry?  Or do I save that for when we go to the wedding?  Do we get them two gifts?  Or is one gift supposed to be for her and the other for them?  I'm so lost.

rak123

Typically, I give a gift off of the registry for the shower, and a gift of money or gift card at the wedding. 

sasha213sw

Ditto PP - I usually do a gift from the registry at the shower and a card with cash/check for the wedding.

Allycat11

I agree, a gift off of the registry for the shower and what my family calls "the flat gift" for the wedding.  I also like the idea of a flat gift for the wedding because then you aren't showing up empty handed, but you aren't carrying around a huge gift either.

Meg1036

I normally give off the registry for both; I'm one of those people who just doesn't like giving money.  I think its best to give something for both the shower and the wedding, but if you need to cut down the amount of money you spend on each (since you're giving two), that's more than understandable. 

That said, I normally ship the wedding gift, so that the bride and groom don't need to transport it after the reception.  And I normally think of both gifts "for the couple" as opposed to the shower gifts being for her and the wedding gifts being for both.  I'm not sure if that's right or not, I just always thought of it that way, since presumably the groom will end up using the shower gifts as well.

lisa89760

I agree with PP's about registry for the shower and money for the wedding.  I have lately been sending gifts for weddings of people that we aren't as close with and I wasn't invited to the shower.  But I always ship the gift if it's for the wedding. 

aegrish

I usually buy off the registry for both, and I usually buy the wedding gift when I get the shower gift (and just hold onto it until the wedding) so there's a decent selection of gifts still available.  I don't feel comfortable giving cash for wedding gifts (unless they don't registery, which is silly).  It's not that I'm totally opposed to cash, but I just think it's nicer to pick out and wrap a gift for them, rather than toss cash in an envelope.

larzhope

i'm with most pp, gift off the registry for shower, cash for wedding.

songbrd410

I also prefer to do a gift off the registry for both, but I ship the wedding gift as a PP mentioned.

mrsbunyip

Wow, I saw Kansas City and two people from Seattle.  I thought I posted on the wrong board, lol.  

Thanks everyone.  We were already thinking of giving them a monetary gift at the wedding until I remembered their registry.  We'll figure it all out.

rak123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_gift-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:c65bf66f-81ca-4f40-a822-1dc415850531Post:5afc649e-10ed-41aa-b638-71cb8516e41b">Re: Gift Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow,<strong> I saw Kansas City and two people from Seattle.</strong>  I thought I posted on the wrong board, lol.   Thanks everyone.  We were already thinking of giving them a monetary gift at the wedding until I remembered their registry.  We'll figure it all out.
Posted by mrsbunyip[/QUOTE]

I saw the same thing too, and was scratching my head...

songbrd410

I just moved to Seattle in July, but I grew up in and am getting married in Michigan.

mrsbunyip

I was wondering! lol