NWR: Thank you notes

zulamay

DH and I have different opinions on thank you notes for holiday presents.  DH's family does not write thank you notes, nor has he ever been requried to write them.  My mother always made me write them and expects me to write them for my side of the family.  DH says that for the gifts we received over the holidays, I don't have to write notes to anyone on his side.  They don't write notes to each other.  However, before we were married I always wrote thank yous to his side...and it seems like it is the proper thing to do even if it's not what his family normally does.  DH is pretty set that we not send notes.  Any thoughts on this?  Can you appease my guilt for not sending them? 

We did write all of our thank you notes to everyone, on both sides of the family, for the wedding.  This is just for all other thank yous, like holidays, birthdsays, etc. 

kd1986

If I recieve a Christmas/birthday gift from someone in person, I do not send a thank you note.  If something is mailed to me, like money or a gift, THEN I will write a thank you.  That's just how I've always done it!

baileyleev

we do thank you's for birthdays, graduations, etc. 

We don't for Christmas, if we sent a thank you for every present we got, it would never end. I don't expect Thank You's for Christmas presents, but I suppose if I got one I would consider it a thoughtful gesture. 

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_nwr-thank-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:e1d5a294-4290-448b-9660-48c4736aa369Post:227b8be5-b056-4464-91fa-d090cd570382">Re: NWR: Thank you notes</a>:
[QUOTE]If I recieve a Christmas/birthday gift from someone in person, I do not send a thank you note.  If something is mailed to me, like money or a gift, THEN I will write a thank you.  That's just how I've always done it!
Posted by kd1986[/QUOTE]

For the most part this.  If we open gifts as a group and the people are there to witness me opening their gift, I don't send a thank you.  If I open the gift without the person there to watch, I send a thank you.  MIL was thrilled because I sent DH's grandma a thank you for the money she gave us for Christmas.  Apparently no one else in the family sent one.  Obviously it must not be expected in their family but if it's appreciated, why not do it?

For the record, I used to be terrible about writing thank yous until I got engaged.  Now I'm religious about it :)  And I'll make sure my kids get in the habit of writing TYs as well.

Meegles4

My mom is like yours, so I've always sent thank you notes, regardless of whether I opened the gift in front of them. The only people I don't send thank you notes to are my parents.

Honestly, I'd continue your tradition of writing a thank you note to his side of the family for any gifts you receive. It can just be from you, doesn't have to be from both of you and it's fine if he doesn't want to write notes to your side, you can always explain that and if it's not something he's ever done before I don't think it's alarming or weird. But what's the big deal if you decide to send a note? I think he should "get over it" and let you send a note if you want to :-)

But, yes, if his family doesn't do that, I don't think they're expecting it and thus your guilt can be appeased if you DON'T send one.

rcj2rcd

Normally, if opened with the gift giver there, then I say thank you in person and do not send a TY note. However things were different for any WR-gifts (engagement, showers, wedding, etc). I sent TY notes for all WR-gifts, whether opened in person or not.

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_nwr-thank-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:e1d5a294-4290-448b-9660-48c4736aa369Post:f5cd853b-0af9-4f4b-ba13-ab698a7558f5">Re: NWR: Thank you notes</a>:
[QUOTE]Normally, if opened with the gift giver there, then I say thank you in person and do not send a TY note. However things were different for any WR-gifts (engagement, showers, wedding, etc). I sent TY notes for all WR-gifts, whether opened in person or not.
Posted by rcj2rcd[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_nwr-thank-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:e1d5a294-4290-448b-9660-48c4736aa369Post:227b8be5-b056-4464-91fa-d090cd570382">Re: NWR: Thank you notes</a>:
[QUOTE]If I recieve a Christmas/birthday gift from someone in person, I do not send a thank you note.  If something is mailed to me, like money or a gift, THEN I will write a thank you.  That's just how I've always done it!
Posted by kd1986[/QUOTE]

This is how I've always done it too.

Allycat11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_nwr-thank-notes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:e1d5a294-4290-448b-9660-48c4736aa369Post:18f46721-7e63-4726-9c7d-329bbdfc135d">Re: NWR: Thank you notes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Thank you notes : For the most part this.  If we open gifts as a group and the people are there to witness me opening their gift, I don't send a thank you.  If I open the gift without the person there to watch, I send a thank you.  MIL was thrilled because I sent DH's grandma a thank you for the money she gave us for Christmas.  Apparently no one else in the family sent one.  Obviously it must not be expected in their family but if it's appreciated, why not do it? <strong>For the record, I used to be terrible about writing thank yous until I got engaged.  Now I'm religious about it :)  And I'll make sure my kids get in the habit of writing TYs as well</strong>.
Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

Ditto. 

My mom also made us write thank you notes for EVERYTHING.  She got that from her dad, who actually puts a check mark in his checkbook after receiving thank yous from each grandchild.  DH's family really doesn't ever do thank yous.

Now I follow the rule, if they watched me open it no thank you is needed; if not, I send a thank you note.

zulamay

Thanks ladies.  I think I'll send a couple of notes to the people who gave me gifts.