Bridal Party is being difficult for the Bachelorette Party

kloftus16

My sister is planning my bachelorette party, and some girls in my bridal party are not being very flexible with dates/costs.  I would think this would be a priority, as it would be for me if I were in their shoes.  How can I get them to participate more and be more flexible for my sister's sake?  Has anyone else experienced this before?  Thanks!

courtney1188

I don't think you can really say what it would be like if you were in their shoes, because you probably don't have a great idea of what their financial situation is, and some workplaces do make it pretty difficult to get extra time off, especially when they're already taking time off for the wedding, rehearsal dinner, shower, etc.

Is your sister trying to plan a trip for your bachelorette party? Because as much as I love my best friends, I know that if one of them wanted me to do that I simply wouldn't be able to - I don't have the money and it's highly unlikely my work would give me the time off, regardless of whether or not it's a priority for me. If this is the case it sounds like your sister needs to come up with a new idea for the party that everyone can afford.

picklesmurphy

I think it all depends on what your sister is planning. If they refuse to pay a six dollar cover charge its one thing, but if the party involves a trip, or expensive rental, then I understand. In this economy we all know how hard money is to come by, but people will use it as an excuse too. If your sisters plans are over $50 a person before drinks I would have a talk with her. She may have to find affordable alternatives for everyone. If not I would have a talk with your girls. These are supposed to be your besties and if they are standing up for you they must love you. I would let them know how important it is to you etc. As far as dates go, you will never make everybody happy. Pick a day and stick with it. People will prioritize as they see fit.

mrsbunyip

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_bridal-party-being-difficult-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:ec2bda41-516b-48d2-9528-15e711a9503bPost:10fd1d16-771b-4941-9fa8-9de76a923317">Re: Bridal Party is being difficult for the Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you can really say what it would be like if you were in their shoes, because you probably don't have a great idea of what their financial situation is, and <strong>some workplaces do make it pretty difficult to get extra time off, especially when they're already taking time off for the wedding, rehearsal dinner, shower, etc</strong>. 
Posted by courtney1188[/QUOTE]
This.  <div>
</div><div>My SIL's wedding in March 19th.  I had to ask for the day off to get the BM dress, for the shower, and the RD (when she thought she was having one).  Her bachelorette party was on Friday, and I had no way to make it.  I felt really bad about it.  It was basically go to this event or not go to the wedding.  I haven't been able to request any days off for ourselves because of all of her wedding events.  It has given me more insight on how to plan my own wedding events next year though.</div>

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_bridal-party-being-difficult-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:ec2bda41-516b-48d2-9528-15e711a9503bPost:b3fa2569-3455-4b91-99dd-19c77ed00b89">Bridal Party is being difficult for the Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister is planning my bachelorette party, and some girls in my bridal party are not being very flexible with dates/costs. <strong> I would think this would be a priority</strong>, as it would be for me if I were in their shoes.  <strong>How can I get them to participate more and be more flexible for my sister's sake?</strong>  Has anyone else experienced this before?  Thanks!
Posted by kloftus16[/QUOTE]
1.  You should not be involved AT ALL in the planning (except say for help with the guestlist.)  Do not get involved with the "problem" bridesmaids because it's not your concern.

2.  The only thing a bridesmaid has to do is wear the selected dress and show up the day of the wedding.  Anything additional is a bonus.  They don't have to help plan the bach party/shower.  They don't have to attend the bach party/shower.  If they wanted to help they would.  If they wanted to attend, they would be more helpful with dates.  If they wanted to contribute financially, they would offer.  If they don't offer to do any of these things, THAT'S OK.  And you don't make them do anything.

Your sister should plan the bach party and then let each guest know how much it is going to be per person.  Then they will let her know if they can attend - including the bridesmaids.

Milsey32

Of course Vegas (or any sort of weekend trip) sounds good in theory.. but realistically some people can only afford one Friday or Saturday night at your sister's place, doing shots named after men and watching a stripper dry hump you. 

As a bride, you can expect an awesome bach party thrown by your wonderful sister, unless she cannot plan a party well without the input of all BMs. HAVE FAITH that she will pull through with something fun and creative. If you worry too much about it, you won't enjoy the time and effort she put forth in planning it. 

Weddingness is supposed to be fun and exciting... don't stress. 

rcj2rcd

:
[QUOTE]Of course Vegas (or any sort of weekend trip) sounds good in theory.. but realistically some people can only afford one Friday or Saturday night at your sister's place, doing shots named after men and watching a stripper dry hump you. 
Posted by Milsey32[/QUOTE]

Lol! I actually laugh/snorted! FI is now looking at me like I'm crazy!!

klreese0213

Here's my thought on the Bachlorette parties is that ultimately it's the maid of honors responsiblity to get things figured out. Maybe she's irritated with the people and venting to you but it isn't your place to really get involved (although i know it's somewhat unavoidable)
I was MOH in my sisters wedding last summer. I added all her BM's to my face and corresponded via FB emails (since i didnt have their other emials, and frankly everyone checks their FB about 100x's a day!). It worked out well. I presented the ideas/dates if they could come cool, if not. whatever. The date i picked actually was a day my sister said she could do it- as it's HER party, ultimately she's the only person whos HAS to come.
I laid everything on the line and told them what was going on. They offered to help bring dishes, etc. Since no one helped me financially but everyone wanted the limo, etc i had everyone pay a certain amount for the night which included food, booze, limo, etc. It actually worked out really well and was SO much fun! no one seemed to complain

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_bridal-party-being-difficult-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:ec2bda41-516b-48d2-9528-15e711a9503bPost:39109daf-4e1d-4ee4-8a17-5d18a66e6246">Re: Bridal Party is being difficult for the Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's my thought on the Bachlorette parties is that ultimately it's the maid of honors responsiblity to get things figured out. Maybe she's irritated with the people and venting to you but it isn't your place to really get involved (although i know it's somewhat unavoidable) I was MOH in my sisters wedding last summer. <strong>I added all her BM's to my face</strong> and corresponded via FB emails
Posted by klreese0213[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I'm sorry but this typo made me giggle! [:</div><div>
</div><div>& @rcj2rcd - I'm glad to have made someone smile with that one! (It's true, though)</div>