Open Letter Friday

stebbe81

It's been awhile so why not! 

Dear Texas,

I know its July and everything but please stop with the 100 degree weather.  I am dying over here.  

Dear Norovirus,

Get the *ell off the cruise ship we are booked for in September.  I am this close to changing my plans because of you.  

Dear Work, 

I really wish I didn't have to go visit you today.  I would rather stay home and watch Say Yes To The Dress.

[Deleted User]

Dear Wedding:
Please plan yourself. I don't have the patience for all your nitty gritty details anymore. kthxbye.

Dear Work:
You do realize that I'm a graphic designer right? Not a programmer? Or a marketing wiz? If you would like me to be these things then I'd love a little help with continuing education!

Dear Self:
Stop being obsessed with your weight, you're driving everyone nuts.

Dear Time/Space Continuum:
Take 5, seriously. You've been working really hard lately and I think you deserve a break. Also, it would give me more hours in the day to get everything done, so it's a win-win!

cmkuno

Dear clients,

Please quit calling me and asking me to do strange things for you.  I am not your one-stop problem solver!!!  I am working SO HARD this week to get everything with my cases wrapped up so I can have a worry free honeymoon.  Help me help you!

Julz629

Dear Lawyer at my work,

Eff you.  You cannot call me screaming at me and not letting me say a word edgewise and then have the audacity to tell me that I have no respect for others.  Oh, and then when you go running with your tail between your legs the moment you realize you are wrong, eff you again.  I apologized for the misunderstanding, the least you could do is apologize for flying off the handle and being a raging a-hole.

You just ruined my Friday.

Knottie1435582995

Dear Boss,

Flying off the handle at me for absolutely no reason is not appropriate.  Further, it is 10X worse because you did it in front of everyone else in the office.  You looked like a raving lunatic.  I was more embarrassed for you than me.  I think you need a vacation.

Step-daughter,

Please, Please, PLEASE stop losing every. last. thing. I send you to camp with.  1 tshirt, 1 water bottle, 1 flip flop, 2 towels, 2 necklaces, 1 pair of goggles, 1 hair brush, and counless hair ties and clips is more than any child should lose.  I have half a mind not give you another towel and make you stay back at camp every day for the rest of the summer while all of the other kids go swimming.  Oh and also, it is not okay to kick other kids or call them stupid.  AND, it's definitely not okay to eat your dessert at lunch and nothing else.

Stupid Customer Service Lady,

When I call you to confirm a price, please do not make me feel like I'm the biggest pain in your ass you've ever experienced.  I'm sorry that my request made you actually do *work* today, but it's that what you're getting paid to do?  Also, don't try to pass me off on someone that I KNOW is unable to answer my question.  And, again, unnecessary to be a complete b&*ch when I call you out on that.  Finally, thank you for calling me back to let me know you can't give me an answer until Monday, however, I'd appreciate if you do not cut me off while I am speaking.  If your purpose from cutting me off was to save time, you reallly messed that up.  My saying "Melanie speaking" takes much less time than you screaming "Melanie, Melanie, Melanie" at me.  It's an entire word longer, 3 extra syllables.  I hope you have a miserable weekend because you are a miserable person.

Hugs & Kisses:  Employee, Mom, Human Being

sammichele

Dear High School Diploma,

How could I have misplaced you?  Where did you go?  Granted, I have not seen you since you were on display at my graduation party three years ago, but I don't see how you could have disappeared like this.  My mother must have put you somewhere herself but she insists that you should be packed away with me.  I hope the new one we ordered gets here in time for my interview in two weeks.  I'm just so baffled that you are no where to be found.

Love, Me.