Hey All,
I am having a MAJOR meltdown. It's midnight and for the past hour and a half I've been thinking about what a fool I've been about my wedding! It started while I was on Groupon and Living Social scoping out deals in general and saw all the stuff for vacations and getaways. I started fantasizing about going on vacation and realizing how much I want to get away.
We are not having a honeymoon because we decided to invest in buying a house. But even though I'm thrilled about that, I'm having panic attacks about that as well, wondering if I'm making the right choice in buying a house now and if I'm ready and if I can handle it. I'm 26 so it's not like I'm older but I'm also not super young...
I feel like everything I've been doing with the wedding just isn't me. I originally, before I even got engaged, entertained the idea of going away on a vacation with just our parents for a week somewhere and getting married, like in Italy, in some small church with a dinner after. Then my FI and I could go for another week to another country as our honeymoon. My FI's father offered us quite a bit of money to elope, whether he was joking or not, I'll never know. My mother talked about having an intimate wedding. I'm kicking myself for not listening to them right now! I'm legit having a panic attack and can't sleep thinking about this. I'm doubting whether I'm doing the right thing in having this elaborate wedding that's going to cost thousands and thousands of dollars (over 15K but below 40K) for just one day.... ONE DAY!! I'm spending that much money in one dam day!?!? I could take that money, reimburse some people for their expenses like bridesmaid dresses and suits and stuff, spend maybe a total of 2k for that stuff and then take 6gs and go on a wonderful vacation and still have money left over to put into the down payment for the house or into the house itself to make improvements... why am I doing this? Why am I making this extravagant wedding (and in reality, I've kept stuff very simple for my wedding, its not that crazy, my dress is under 2k for goodness sakes) and spending all this money?? WHY?
It's gotten to a point where I'm legit thinking of excuses to get back my deposits from different people. I still have just around 2 months... no one's gotten us presents yet, not even half the RSVP's have come... nothing's super done. People can still cancel reservations to the hotel and not get penalized... it could work to cancel all this. I could even book a last minute vacation to still get married, in August, a little earlier even. Ugh why was I so stupid in planning all this forj ust one day!?!?
Sorry about the rant... there's no place and no one I felt I could turn to at this hour...
-Paola-