August 2013 Weddings

Bridesmaid Dropped Out

My only bridesmaid, my best friend, has dropped out because of financial reasons which she is grossly over-estimating. I said that I understood and was ok with it. Part of me thinks there's something else going on because it's not going to cost $350 for hair, dress, and shoes as she said. She can pick any dress she wants (some as low as $79), $10 for shoes at Payless or what she already has, and she can do her own hair.

I can't afford to pay for it and if I do for one, I'd have to do for all of them. I did ask another good friend to take her place. I debated in the beginning over whether or not to ask her because she's actually my ex husband's cousin, but down one girl- I figured it can't hurt and she can decide if she would feel comfy doing it.

I'm bummed out. :(

Re: Bridesmaid Dropped Out

  • I'm sorry that you're bummed out! Maybe she was just overwhelmed with the prices of everything and the other girls talking about what they are paying for things. Hopefully, everything will work out fine.
  • That sucks. I have found out through the stress of all the planning and finances  I am really having to learn to roll with the punches. Not been easy, but it is teaching me in the process of how to let go a lot more. Good luck.
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  • I'm sorry, that's such a bummer.  It sounds like you were doing everything you could to keep it reasonable for them all.  It could be that there were some parties/showers in the works for you that she couldn't really contribute to, or it could just be life stress.  It was nice of you to be so understanding, and I'm sure your friendship will move past this.  
  • Update: She messaged me and asked if I replaced her. I said I had because I would like everything to be even (It's just the way I am). Then she says she wants back in and could I add another guy? My FI was floored she said that. Then, she said if she's not in it- she's not coming and neither will her parents. Shortly after, it's because of her "kids" not being able to stay with her the whole night (SHE wants them to leave early so that she can enjoy adult time, and go home with her Mom and they won't leave her side).

    What the heck!

  • Oh my gosh this would enrage me!! How dare she tell you she can't do it and then threaten to not even come if you don't make room for her! I don't even know what advice to give, really, but I hope it all works out smoothly, and she gets over it.
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333
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    edited December 2012
    That is very strange behavior, yuck. I'd say all you can do at this point is tell her her children are welcome, assuming that's the case, and that you really hope she will reconsider. You could also have her back with uneven sides if you want her there, it really is common and could be worth it to save the friendship. It does really sound like there's something else going on though...sorry you're having to deal with this!
  • Her children are more than welcome. The issue is that she wants to stay for the 'whole reception' and her mother/father would leave fairly early to make it home before it's to late. She would want the kids to go home with her mom and dad so she could enjoy herself, but they won't go with her. They are attached to her hip at 7 and 9. Still sleep in her bed with her every night- but that's a whole other story..haha.

    Honestly, after what was said- I can't let her back in. I can't be pushed over by her pushiness. If she choses not to be my friend because she messed up, than she wasn't a very good friend to begin with.

  • I agree with what you posted. If she is going to act like that then don't put her back in. You might want to talk to her though because it does seem like something else is going on. 
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