Massachusetts-Boston

Wedding favors

My fiancee and I are looking into doing a donation along with a cute container of the sugared almonds.  After searching through charaties, we have decided to go through the make a wish fondation, since our biggest dream is coming true.  My question is, how much is usually given?  Is it done per person or a lump sum?  Have you everr gone to a wedding where a charatable donation was given?  Were you ok with it, or did it bother you?  Thanks for your help. 

Re: Wedding favors

  • megandjaymegandjay
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I was planning to do a donation too, I thought I came up with the greatest idea ever. And then I spent some time on the other Knot boards, and it seems the general thought is that a donation is not a favor to the guests and it may be construed as patting yourself on the back. Most of the knotties seem to think that an edible favor is the way to go, otherwise that it is perfectly fine to skip the favor all together. If you do go with a donation, my thought was that I was going to spend the amount per person that I would have on a favor, so about $5-10pp. I am back to square one.


    Edit: Under Special Topic Wedding Boards is a board devoted to Favors, you might get some advice there too.
  • edited December 2011
    The guests might think it was a nice gesture that you spent the money on something that will not be wasted rather than on something crappy that they don't really want. I personally don't care for the edible favors, but other people might enjoy them.

    My wedding coordinator said that most people are skipping favors or doing something edible now just to help trim the budget and avoid waste. I'm combining my place cards and favors with the votive candles I wanted on the table to trim some waste. You might be able to come up with something creative yourself.
    You will always need something to fix.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Megandjay is right about the general feeling on the boards, but personally I still think the charity is a nice thing. Favors are definitely not required, but if you wanted to do a donation, I see nothing wrong with having a card or a couple of cards at each table saying "In lieu (sp?) of favors we have made a donation to..." The amount is up to you.

    My sister donated to the Humane Society and Included a note about how she found her dog through a shelter and that was why the charity was important to them. Made it a little more personal-- plus gave people something to read during some of the more boring toasts :)
  • edited December 2011
    Personally I chose to forgo favors, and I don't think any of my guests missed them.  We decided that a delicious 4-course meal and free booze was enough to satisfy them!

    But to answer your other question, I have been at a wedding where a donation was the favor, and I didn't care one way or the other about it.  I think I would prefer that than a silly trinket that I would just toss when I got home.
  • edited December 2011
    I've been to a wedding where a donation was given in lieu of a favor.  I didn't think anything was wrong with it.  It was made to the Jimmy Fund, which held special meaning to me as that was the charity we suggested in lieu of flowers when my Mom passed away.  I have 3 daughters.  2 married, one getting married June 12.  We didn't have favors at daughter #1's wedding.  Daughter #2 got married Thanksgiving weekend.  We used mini Christmas Tree ornaments to hold the escort cards.  So that doubled as a favor.  For 3rd wedding in June, we are doing a candy buffet.  I must say, that I never miss a favor if they aren't given at weddings.
  • megandjaymegandjay
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Wedding favors:
    Megandjay is right about the general feeling on the boards, but personally I still think the charity is a nice thing. Favors are definitely not required, but if you wanted to do a donation, I see nothing wrong with having a card or a couple of cards at each table saying "In lieu (sp?) of favors we have made a donation to..." The amount is up to you. My sister donated to the Humane Society and Included a note about how she found her dog through a shelter and that was why the charity was important to them. Made it a little more personal-- plus gave people something to read during some of the more boring toasts :)
    Posted by Karen's MOH
    I was thinking of doing something very similar to your sister, since we adopted our cat from the shelter and he has been such a joy, really the most loving little beast ever. But based on other boards, I don't want to come off like I am patting myself on the back. And it really is not a 'favor' for your guests. I agree though, I would rather get nothing than some trinket with the B&G names and wedding dates, I just feel like that stuff gets tossed when the guests leave and is such a waste.
  • Shazzie116Shazzie116
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I have nothing wrong with donations as long as you're not doing it in a way that comes across as "Look how awesome we are". If you are heavily invested in a charity for personal reasons (illness, animal rescue, environmental causes) I say go ahead and make the donation. I went to one wedding where the couple donated to St. Vincent de Paul Center in Phoenix because they volunteered there for 4 years together during their college spring breaks. It was something obviously meaningful to the both of them and it made me pause and think "That's a fantastic way to give back to a place that enriched their relationship". 

    There are people who will think you're patting yourself on the back, there are people who will think it's wonderful. It's another one of those things that you just have to stand by your decision. 
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I too am going to do a donation.  But I am going to do it along with an edible favor.  Im not sure if I will tell my guests I am doing it or not.  I am having a table with pictures of lost family members and may put something on the table that says we will be donating to "such and such charity" in honor of those family members.

    I personally dont think its patting yourself on the back, but I understand when people say its not a "gift" to donate in the name of your guests.  They feel if the guest wants to donate, they will on their own time.

    I have been to weddings that have done a donation and my first thought was "how nice!".  Not "wtf is this, where is my favor".  I have also been to weddings where I got favors that sit in my drawer.  I dont really care either way if I get a favor or not.  I think the dinner and drinks are the "thank you".  Anything else is just bonus.

    Do whatever you feel is right for you and your guests.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • LMKINSERLMKINSER
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    The idea for the donation is not to pat myself on the back.  My family is very much into giving back, and I cant imagine not doing so on a day as important as our wedding.  The idea behind the donation as a favor is to include my guests in that tradition.  We are planning to included some sort of chocolate to go with the donation- originally sugared almonds, but now we are looking into chocolate hearts and stars.  
    It has been interesting to read how the donation favor can be taken, and I would like to make sure that it comes across in the most positive light possible.
    I know personally I would rather know that a donation to worthwhile cause was made instead of giving me something that I am just going to throw away.

    Thank you for all of you feedback
  • edited December 2011
    we did a donation as a favor.  we adopted all three of our cats from a really nice, small animal shelter out in western ma that is funded solely through private donations, so we decided to donate to them.  we donated about $4 per invited guest.  we put a nice framed sign on the table where favors would normally go and left out some pamphlets for our guests to take and learn a little more about our chosen charity.  a few of our guests even decided to donate as well (the shelter sent us a letter saying they received donations in our name).

    i think it's a really sweet way to share the love you're celebrating that day with the greater community.  idk how anyone can see that as narcissistic. 



    ...hello out there!
    image image
    image
    dx with anovulatory PCOS 2005
    off bcp 11/11
    2 rounds of clomid and 1 round of femara... no response.
    injectables/IUI 12/12... BFN
    02/13 IVF cycle converted down to IUI due to low follicle response.... everything crossed for that BFP!
  • edited December 2011
    we will be doing donations as well.  i got the idea from my cousin, as he and his now wife doned to the MSPCA, where they got their puppy.  i work with brain injury survivors, and FI's dad has had cancer twice, so we will be splitting them between BIAMA and ACS.  Both our families know why we chose this, and are fine with it.  I am personally partial to the donations anyway, as I too think money is wasted on favors. if we weren't donating, we would have gone with something edible. 
  • Blueyed228Blueyed228
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I think the people who are saying that donations can come off as a pat on the back mean that if you want to donate in leiu of favors, then do it privately.  You dont need to announce it.

    Like I said, im impartial to it.  It doesnt bother me either way.  I have never expected a favor, or scoffed at a donation.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • edited December 2011
    I really like the donation as a favor idea.  We did not do that, but looking back it would have been more meaningful than the favors we did give. 
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards