Proper Invitation Etiquette

katiebelle85

Hi everyone.  I'm actually posting for my cousin, who is getting married in October.  I searched all of the website and couldn't find the right answer to my question (or I did and just didn't realize it).  Her question is regarding my parents and my brother on their invitation.  My parents are married and my brother has been dating a girl for over a year.  Though my cousin has never met the girl (and therefore said she wouldn't feel comfortable addressing her by name on the invite), she would like the invitation to make it clear that my brother is welcome to invite a guest.  Is there a proper way to word all of this on the invite?  My brother still lives at home, so he and my parents will all be included on the same invitation.  Thank you for your help!

cvl105

how old is your brother? If he is over 18, he technically should have his own invite. If she really just wants 1 invite I would do: Mr. and Mrs. Dad Last Name Mr. Brother Last Name and Guest Adress

h+j6510

personally, i would put your brother's girlfriends name on the invitation. when my fiance's brother got married a year and a half ago, they wrote "my fiance's name and guest". we had been dating three and a half years and i had spent a lot of time with my fiance's brother and his now wife. i was hurt and offended, so i'm probably biased in this situation. even if your cousin hasn't met your brother's girlfriend, she's clearly an important person in his life and i think that should be noted. just my two cents.

anyalee

Like pp said there should be two seperate invitations going to that house.  One for your parents.  And one for your brother and his girlfriend.  It doesn't matter if the bride has met his girlfriend, if they've been dating for over a year her name should definately be on there too!  I was insulted when I went to a wedding with FI after we had been dating over two years and the invite AND place card said "and guest".

JBs_Bride

I agree with h+j. If your brother is over 18, he should get his own invite and it should be addressed to Mr. Brother with Ms. Brother's Girlfriend on the second line. Having the word "and" between the names means that they are married.

uta10

I agree with the pp, the invite should be:Mr. Brother's NameMs. Girlfriend's NameYou would definitely want to get the name since they've been dating over a year, and you wouldn't put the two names on the same line since they're not married.  You would give the brother his own invite.Good luck!

kebmtm071605

Separate invitations.And if he has been dating her for over a year, she really SHOULD be invited by name...that is proper.

Beantown Mama

Fi and I went to 2 weddings when we were dating and the invitations were addressed to: Mr. Michael D. Ms. Marieke S. One of those wedding was only after we had been dating for a few months and they still put my name on the invite. And yes, I agree he should get his own invite separate from his parents.

LucyD1029

Definitely address her by name.  My husband has several cousins whose SOs we hadn't met yet; they were all invited by name.  2 invitations. 

bombtones

2 invitationsAnd put the girls name on it. It doesn't matter that she hasn't met her- doing "& guest" isn't acknowledging that they are in a committed relationship.

amethystgirl03

If they really aren't comfortable addressing her by name, they could  send the invite to your brother (yes, separate invite is preferred, although I sent one invite to my aunt, uncle, and cousin, and they all were perfectly fine with it), and then call your brother and say "by the way, of course so-and-so is invited."  Personally, I far prefer that to writing on the envelope "& guest"

erilouboston

Agree with the PP's - send a separate invite, address the girl by her name, put the names on separate lines. "And guest" should never be on an invite - I tracked down the names of everyone coming and their dates (which, is much easier with facebook!) - or like someone mentioned, she can send the invite to your brother alone, then tell him in person that he can bring a guest (which is the proper etiquette when you absolutely cannot find the guests name).

RedSoxGirl10

PLEASE address her by name!!!! I am very lax about wedding rules and I can tell you it is a MAJOR pet peeve when people dont' find out dates names. I was listed as "guest" on an invite this summer when me and fiance are engaged- plus I was invited to the bridal shower of the bride, by name that time lol. Whether you have met her or not, just address her by name.

kriscasey

definitely send two invites if possible. if not, and your brother is under 18, you put his parents names on the outer envelope. the inner envelope is meant to actually list who is invited and the outer envelope is basically used for just GETTING the invite to arrive at the correct address and correct people, so you would put your parents names and address on outer. on inner envelope, list your parents and then your brother and his girlfriends name. again, this is IF you use one invite. but if over 18, definitely use 2 invites, my fiance's parents have 4 kids, 2 of them over 18, so they got their own invites even though they all live in the same house.

katiebelle85

Thank you all so much for your help!!  I had no idea details like the placement of "and" could take you from dating to married, whew!  I'll definitely pass all of this along.  Thanks again!Katie