TGIF Open Letters

foolforfood

Dear Mother Nature,Why has this entire week been rainy with grey clouds?  I wanted to wear my cute open toe shoes for the last time this seaon, but instead, I moped around in loafers.  Please do not f*ck around with my weekend, k?Dear foolforfood,Why did you invest so much into your education only to have dreams of being a stay at home wife?

LucyD1029

Why did you invest so much into your education only to have dreams of being a stay at home wife? HAHA!  Me too!  I'm getting my SECOND masters degree and I hope to stay home after baby #2.

foolforfood

Dear Lucy, Does that mean you're already prego with #1???

LucyD1029

Dear Fool, No, not yet, but I'm hoping to be before Christmas.  DH just turned 35, so we're not wasting any time!

foolforfood

Oh congrats!  DH will be working 80+ hrs a week for the next 3 years, and I told him there's no way I'm raising an infant without his help.  So we're on a 2-3 year time frame. 

MeaghanandMichael

Dear foolforfood,Why did you invest so much into your education only to have dreams of being a stay at home wife?YES!!! I watch these women at the club all day long play with their kids by the pool. Now that school is back their main worry is getting home in time to meet the bus. NO fair.My letter:Dear Wedding Gods,Tomorrow is my first wedding here at work that I have reallllly been involved in. The bride is really relying on me. Please don't be freezing out, please let all the flowers get here on time, and please let no one be passed out drunk in the bathroom at the end of the night for me to deal with.Hugs and KissesMeaghan

MeaghanandMichael

ps- Dear Fool and Lucy, Please stop making me insanely jealous with your wonderful baby talk. I am not ready but my baby brain wants me to think I am. xoxox, Meg

foolforfood

The baby makin' is on hold for now, so I am also jealous of Lucy.  I feel really horrible about giving up my career ambitions, but I feel like I can't fight nature.  Baby brain is just wired in me.  Ever since I got married I have looked at babies in a completely different way.  I work near a huge mall, so I go there for lunch sometimes.  There's always an army moms pushing their strollers (which are invariably armed with huge shopping bags), and I get realllllly envious. Then I read my student loan statements and I think, "WTF is wrong with you?  Start paying off this debt!"

MeaghanandMichael

Then I read my student loan statements and I think, "WTF is wrong with you? Start paying off this debt!"This to the max.but, but, but, they are just so cute!

LucyD1029

Meaghan, I got my first post-pill period yesterday.  Don't be jealous.  After 9 years on the pill, I forgot how horrible it was!

foolforfood

Oh, another reason for delaying the baby machine - my complete intolerance for pain.  Lucy - Aleve usually works wonders on me.

MeaghanandMichael

What a bummer Lucy... maybe it will settle down after a few cycles. But yes, recalling trips to the nurse in 8th grade to lie down is just not fun.

futuremrstoddo

oooh, i like this one!Dear Boss,I don't work Monday and Friday. Please stop setting up conf calls on those days. Thanks.Dear Fool, Totally agree. At least DH is supportive of my stay at home mom dreams. Putting that ivy league education to good use!

LucyD1029

The worst part is I'm supposed to go shopping at Copley with a friend after work and I cannot even imagine trying clothes on!  I guess I'll have to get shoes.... I should have started this whole thread with "Dear Period".....

izzy9

Dear Apartment,     Please pack yourself. As much as I cannot wait ti move into my new home I just dont want to pack up all the crap in the old one.             Love - LizOh and I'm right there with you Fool.....last night FI and I were in bed and I tried to convince him that he should try to make partner at his accounting firm so that I can not work and we can have kiddies - he laughed in my face and told me JD did not stand for home maker  it was worth a shot

foolforfood

I hear you Izzy.  Sometimes I hate my degrees.  My DH had dreams of having two great incomes, but I think he realizes how disappointed and sad I am about my current career... Military recruiters came to his hospital yesterday and they have a program that gives residents an extra $70K a year for the duration of the residency program.  He told me, "I wish we weren't in war with Afghanistan and Iraq right now, otherwise, I'd take the job so that you can stay at home."  I felt honored and pathetic at the same time!

EKobrenski

Aw, I have the baby fever too and I'm not even married yet, and def not ready anyways!  How would your day go as a stay at home mom?  I have dreams of doing nothing all day but hanging out with the baby. going to the gym and getting all dolled up after and being a hot mommy.  I would take cooking lessons and make fabulous meals every night. This will never happen bc I can't afford a housekeeper to clean up after me or a nanny if I'm not working. Plus, I'm guessing the baby would not follow my schedule haha.  

foolforfood

hmm...this is how I would the day:create a beautiful home take art classesgo back to school for the pleasure of learning, not for the paycheck that comes as a resulthave nice mommy days with the ladiesvolunteer with local charitiesbe a good mom....not saying that working moms are inferior, but my mom had to work her butt off and we never got to spend any quality time together.  DH had a SAHM and his childhood experiences were soooo much different than mine. 

jenvalet

Oh, I'm right there with you guys!  I keep telling MH that he needs a better paying job because I want to quit my job now and just take care of the house, bake all day and make nice meals    And then baby at some point.

foolforfood

whooops ...insert "spend"

MeaghanandMichael

Think of how skinny, cultured, and well groomed we would all be.Let's make a pact. If one of us wins the lottery we have to share with the rest of the girls a few thousand a year to have a nanny. Come one now girls, put your hands in the middle and swear this oath.

EKobrenski

Think of how skinny, cultured, and well groomed we would all beOh for real!  I'm in on the pact lol.  I think I may get a nanny, but it will be because I'm at work. Not a live in one, just someone during the day.  My mom worked long hours and we had sort of a nanny.  We went to her house like a day care center, but she only watched my brother and I.

choppinbroccoli22

I'm not a mommy yet either, but Fool I think you have your rose-colored glasses on! I think that the first thing I'm going to have to be OK with when we decide to get pregnant is that we will have no leisure time for 18 years. How's that for birth control? :-)

izzy9

Awww I love that Fool, it's the thought that counts right!

MeaghanandMichael

Leah - everything you said is really interesting. I lol-ed at the making friends with the UPS man. Not to be snarky at all, but I am wondering if you think you would be ultimately happier with the stay at home you if it was your choice and not due to a lay off? Just curious.

MeaghanandMichael

But like I said, a lot more of my personal self-worth was tied up in doing well at my job than I realized. I actually wonder about this all the time. Like you said, being a stay at home mom lends itself to the identity as care provider. I wonder how I will handle this identity switch.Also what you said about things that are fun often become quite costly is so true. When I was working part time I was always doing a lot more shopping (even just running to CVS and Stop and Shop) and pedicuring and stuff in the afternoons and it was pretty much negating what I brought in.

livandrich

I have been totally MIA forever, but this thread is so intriguing I am posting!!! I am obsessed with babies right now and have myself convinced that the time to have one is NOW!! However...that is a ridiculous notion. I can barely take care of myself. And pay freaking student loans. I totally agree with losing all time-management skills when you're not working. For several months, I worked only after 2 pm, and I found it literally impossible to accomplish much of anything in the off-hours. Now that I am working on a more regular basis, I find that I am happier and healthier with some more structure and routine. However, something that is different in my situation is that as an actor, I am ALWAYS looking for work. You book one job, and while you're fulfilling that contract, you are looking for the next one. If you're not currently in a show, you're doing a survival job to pay bills- and you still have to do your other job (aka find work as an actor). So on that note: Dear Universe, Please help me book an acting job soon. I am singing better than ever and I am ready. I am over my office job. Thanks in advance. Love, Olivia

Shazzie116

Very interesting thread, as I've been having similar feelings lately. I know we're at least a year or two away from kids, but both FI and I had SAHMs until we were in school full-time, and we've agreed we wouldn't want it any other way.I can't say every day would be a picnic in the park, but I would like to be working from home by the time we start a family. I want to be able to contribute financially, and I have student loans to pay that I'd never expect FI to take on. I would love to be able to do volunteer work and have the time and energy to invest into my family life. I work with some people who never see their kids, and not by choice. I couldn't imagine...

foolforfood

I agree with the rose tinted glasses comment.  DH says that to me all the time, but I chose to ignore him My problem is that I don't get fulfilled by my current career, so even if being a SAHM means diaper duty and teething, it still seems like a better life in comparison.  Ok, now I feel like I'm cheating on all my feminist heroes.  I need to repent!

LexiMS

This thread made me post from our vacation in the bahamas!  Let me tell you--there are a lot of people here on baby moons and it is making me very jealous!  That being said...I dont think I will be wearing a bikini pregnant!  To the whole staying home thing--I will be going down to part time as soon as FI job starts in Feb and I am counting down the days.  Right now I am working 6 days a week for far to little pay.  It is sometimes hard to think about my hard earned degree and career choices meaning so litttle financially to our household...but to be realistic, the house is falling apart with my working Mon-Sat and being out of the house 14 hrs a day...even with FI home full time!  I think it is hardest for my Mom--who worked so hard when I was a kid to hear me say that I want to stay home with my kids. 

decka1121

I have baby fever too.. but to be honest I don't think I could be a stay a home mom. All the power to all you ladies that can do it. my FH really wants to be a stay at home dad.. and I'm finishing up my degree. So I think I'll be the bread winner.