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OOT guests?

jesslajessla member
Tenth Anniversary 10 Comments Combo Breaker
in Massachusetts-Boston
I have a quick question.  Now, I realize that you are supposed to invite OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner.  But, what constitutes an OOT guest?  I have two friends who are from my town and are still supported by their parents, but they go to school out in the midwest.  But they will be flying home for the weekend of my wedding.I also have a friend who lives in NYC, and will be getting a hotel room with her boyfriend for the weekend, up here, to come to the wedding.Would you consider these people OOT guests?  Should I extend them an invitation to the rehearsal dinner?TIA :o).
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Re: OOT guests?

  • The Little OneThe Little One
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Usually I thought the rehearsal dinner was just for family and the bridal party.  I am doing an OOT dinner the night before instead of a rehearsal dinner so we are inviting all the OOT guests, which would include those you mentioned.
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  • jthennigarjthennigar
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you HAVE to invite OOT guests to the RD. We did not. If you have it in your budget and the place you've chosen allows for the space, then I don't suppose it can do any harm. We just wanted our bridal party and immediate family there - no need to have everyone who was going to be at the wedding the following night. Just my opinion, though!
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  • bharnettbharnett
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You don't have to invite them. We only had bp & immediate family. I wanted to keep it intimate.
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  • october010brideoctober010bride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    FMIL is running the show for our RD/Welcome Dinner. If she had read your post she would say, the NYC person + their bf would get an invite but not your friends from your hometown. We're inviting literally every OOT guest to the dinner. I wanted something small but lost the battle since she's paying.  
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  • Shazzie116Shazzie116 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're just having immediate family, BP, and whoever is directly involved in our Mass who is going to the rehearsal for dinner. Since FILs are hosting at their house which is less than 1/4 mile from the inn where OOT guests are staying, we're inviting OOT guests later for dessert, coffee, drinks and socializing.
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  • killian09killian09
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We didn't do this b/c we didn't have a rehearsal dinner, and it would have been HUGE had we invited all of our OOT guests. THat was like 80+ people. Anyway, just saying, I don't think you have to invite them. Just stick to family + bridal party, and they should understand. Unless you really want them there, but then there is no dilemma. :)
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  • october010brideoctober010bride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ugh, I wish FMIL would read this. We're not having rehearsal either yet 80+ ooters will still be invited. bah!
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  • JBs_BrideJBs_Bride
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We're inviting all of the OOT guests to our RD at my parents request.
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  • arcmtgarcmtg
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would consider the friend who lives in NYC OOT- I'm not sure why you wouldn't- in what way could she be considered in town? I wouldn't consider the friends from your town OOT because they are from town and their parents who support them still live there.So- if you do decide to include OOT guests at the RD, I would include the friend from NYC but not the other two.
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  • Perci101009Perci101009
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We invited all OOT guests to the dinner...  most are OOT, as I am originally from NY, and FI has a lot of friends from school in Chicago...I thought we would get far more yeses than we did, but found that a good share of ppl are coming Saturday, and we actually didnt send the invitation until we got a response card back.  Out of 116 OOT invites, about 70 are coming to the dinner.I would definitely invite the NY ppl, but maybe not the others...  Up to you and your numbers...  We found that we used a lot of loose interpretations where need be, for fear of the numbers... GL
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  • LucyD1029LucyD1029
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We only invited family, wedding party, and spouses to the RD.  We invited everyone to brunch the morning after the wedding, but only people who stayed over or lived nearby by attended. 
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  • GardenBrydGardenBryd
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto many above: the rehearsal dinner was just those in the bridal party, and anyone involved in the ceremony (some uncles, aunts) and everyone's spouses.For our next-day brunch, we invited everyone at the wedding (and had 120 of 150 guests come--was great)!
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  • choppinbroccoli22choppinbroccoli22
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yup, I'll just say, we have a ton of OOT guests. I have asked a few to come for drinks after the RD, but my FMIL is only having the people who are in the rehearsal, at the RD.
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  • w8tilucmew8tilucme member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just what we did...and it worked out well. Rehearsal Dinner THURSDAY night just immediate family and people in the wedding. Friday nite invited everyone to the hotel bar for beverages so we could mingle and greet our out of town guests. Saturday night wedding.We opted to not do a brunch on Sunday since we had a 6 hour drive back to Philly  
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