Fun time: Dear...

AlwaysABridesmaid...

Dear Coach, please stop sending me emails with new products. You know I am saving for a wedding.Dear co worker, Please take your hacking, sniffling, swine flu carrying @$$ home. I don't want to get sick and I am tired of listening to you hack up a lung for two weeks. I am sorry you used up all of your PTO to do stupid crap through out the year. Not my problem.Dear landlord, my apartment is STILL making me sick. A new dehumidifier only works if there is not mold already growing in every orphus of my apartment. You said you would take us to see the upstairs apt, you said you would tell us how much it is. STOP BLOWING ME OFF!That is all. Your turn.

Brads Girl

Dear Mother Nature, the last 3 saturdays have been absolutely beautiful fall days, why, on the saturday of my wedding must it rain?  I don't like you anymore! Thanks

spuccio

Dear Rental Company, I am not paying to replace the linen tablecloths I rented for my wedding. I am pretty sure that if someone lit the head table's linens on fire, I would have noticed it. Sincerely,Sarah  

sunshine1084

I second your second "dear co-worker".Our IT guy has been hacking, coughing and hocking up loogies for 2 weeks now...and just the sounds are making me sick. Enough dude! At least close your door!Also,Dear Graphic Design Market,Can you please get busy again? I'm dying for a job to love...and your being so aloof isn't helping! Kthanks.

Shazzie116

Dear FI's Boss, Please stop scheduling him incredibly crappy hours. Not only will I not really see him this weekend for my birthday, but it's throwing off his sleep patterns and making him a little cranky to be around. And really, who watches tennis from Thailand requiring these overnight shifts? Dear Commute, You suck. If I wanted to sit in a parking lot for an hour going nowhere I'd go to the mall. Dear Nose, Please stop getting stuffed up. I need to sing this weekend! Dear Hormones, Please stop making me feel like rubbish. Dear Boston Knotties,

AlwaysABridesmaid...

haha! Spuccio, really!?

evseidl

Dear Neighbor:  Yes, I'm aware that Atticus is a big dog and when standing up by our connecting fences, can look over.  Don't worry, he only shares the good information about what he sees in your windows, and no, I can't a 'security screen' to keep him from looking into your backyard.  He's a dog, not a human.  Your ta tas look about as appetizing as his leg to him. Dear WaysideInn: My apologies that my aunt got drunk and went behind the bar to find her own bottle of rum.  You didn't have to close down one of the 2 bars because of it.  Deat WaysideInn: I apologize. I know we trashed the place and made a mini-swampland with drinks of your dancefloor.  Forgive us.

coppolafamily

Dear Guests, please throw that self addressed envelope back in the mail after checking off yes or no. It's not that difficult really! You have less than a week to rsvp, so why do I not even have half of them yet!??!Dear Dog, stop waking in the middle of the night and barking at the wind, please. I hardly sleep as it is! And it makes it much more difficult to fall back to sleep after being woken to freak barking and getting up to look at the leaf falling from the tree that you heard! Dear sweet child of mine, please stop growing. You are much taller than me at this point and your kisses on my forehead make me want to cry. Dear Wedding, please finish the small details yourself. I need a break so seat people with whoever (if they ever respond!) and the best of luck to you! 

kamedio

Dear Bank, I know the seller of the house we are trying to buy totally screwed you over but PLEASE have pity on me and my DH and let us have a place to live. If you don't I'm homeless and I really don't want to be carting my things around in our car until we find a place to live. Dear Co-Worker, The fact that you have a masters in Church History doesn't make you an expert on everything else in the world. I fear for my students when you give them a lecture on what field of nursing they should go into when you have ZERO knowledge of nursing (or any other field for that matter).Dear Student Workers, PLEASE don't come into work sick. You're passing it on to me and I'd much rather not be home in bed this weekend.

spuccio

Alwaysabridesmaid, yes really. Also add that to the other linens that have "wax stains" on them...there wasn't one candle at my venue that day...not a one....

baystateapple

Dear Upper Management, I'm extremely sad that you are transferring my boss.  But please send me a good new boss who won't want to fire me and who will run this office professionally and well. Thanks, Meg

jkepros

Dear Bank of America, I hate you.  I really do.  Can we please go one month, just one!, without you f-ing up my reserve credit and/or checking account?!  I am so tired of speaking to your phone operators and having to continuously monitor my accounts.  YOU SUCK! Dear FI's stomach: please stop upsetting FI at night!  I need my sleep.  For the past 3 nights he's been up sick bc you hurt him, and neither of us has gotten a proper nights sleep.  Just yesterday on NPR they said that you actually get dumber the less sleep you get.  I don't want to be any dumber! Dear brunch venue events planner: Fricken E-mail me back, already!!!  Do I have to talk to your manager (again) to get you to fricken communicate with me (again)???  If you aren't going to respond to my E-mails don't put "available any time by E-mail" at the bottom of your E-mails.  It took you THREE MONTHS to respond to me the first time.  I need to hammer out these details!

Krystalynne21

Dear spuccio,Your post literally made me laugh out loud.Dear Friday,Where the hell have you been all week?

biron1212

Dear D-bag Neighbor, Yes it is actually rude and annoying that you type IN ALL CAPS! Go find something better to do with your time than email us with your complaints about the condo assoc. If you want it fixed that quickly, do it yourself.Dear checking account, I know I haven't been so good to you these days, but if you could squeeze me some more pennies, that would be great.Dear random stranger who notices my ring, Yes I am engaged and while I am sure you have a ton of great suggestions for me, I would rather finish my grocery shopping. Dear dental hygienist, Why must you ask me so many questions that require more than an "uh huh?" Don't you clearly see that that your fingers are halfway down my esophagus.Sincerely, RB

MandahGirly

Dear Landlord and whoever else came to take away my fridge, First, thanks for finally taking away my broken fridge on Tuesday. The mold was starting to freak me out. But it's not cool to lock my kitty in the bedroom and NOT let her back out when you leave. Thanks for finally finding the right address and bringing our new fridge, but really, you had to give us the CRAPPIEST fridge on the market? FI checked - it was the cheapest that Home Depot sold. And WTF at there NOT being a shelve in the freezer?!! I can't wait to buy a house! Dear Spuccio, That's hilarious. Give them photographic proof that there was no fire and no candles, lol

anyalee

Dear Future MIL; I know you're paying for the rehearsal dinner, but please stop trying to invite people.  We want it wedding party only.  That means no people we don't even know.  And NO kids! (except mine)  Seriously, you're already complaining and worry about how much it's going to cost you.Dear FI; man up and call you friend to tell him he can't bring his gf of 3 weeks to our wedding.  He's in the bridal party and she'd be by herself most of the day.  She doesn't know ANYONE why would she want to come anyway?  Stop procrastinating and call him before the girl buys a new dress or something.Dear weather; please don't rain in NYC this weekend!  It's my b-party and I don't want to get wet and have bad hair.  Please!!!