Is it me or...

AFP07

are the main topic boards kind of unhelpful to Northeasterners?

I just had a girl from Nebraska rip me a new one for saying that transporting myself around to visit vendors costs money. I've also had all sorts of etiquette suggestions that are so out-of-touch that they make no sense.

Has anyone else had this experience?

Osterizer

I read the post you were referring to.  I think "Ms. Nebraska" gave you some good advice.  From the looks of it, she misunderstood your line about transportation and possibly thought you were talking about transportation for your vendors -- not transportation to meet with vendors. 

I think you overreacted.  You thought she was attacking you when, in actuality, she was trying to help you and give you some ideas to save money.  Maybe it was her choice of bold red font that inferred that she was on the attack, but I think she was just trying to help.

You will find that some traditions/customs/norms can vary region to region, but etiquette is pretty much universal.  An etiquette faux pais committed in Montana is also a faux pais in Massachusetts.

crystal5724

No I kinda agree with AFP. Question...is it common or uncommon, etiquette or what to host a full open bar the entire night? My opinion is that it is uncommon in New England to have a full open bar, however very tacky in other parts of the country to not host a full open bar.

AFP07

Osterizer, it's one thing to comment or disagree with someone else's input. That's fine and a part of normal discussion. It's completely out of line to copy and paste someone's discussion and "correct" it in red explaining all of the reasons why she is wrong, like you're a teacher checking a test against the answer key. If she'd disagreed with me, fine, but the way she handled it was so astonishngly rude.

Crystal, I think the liquor laws up here are so strict that open bars are cost-prohibitive unless you're very wealthy. One of my friends got married in New Jersey about 5 years ago, and he said the fee for a full open bar was $11 a head. I saw someone on here yesterday posting $40 a head in Massachusetts, and most people I know were charged retail-on-consumption.

Justpeachy4397

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_is-it-me-or?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:2849cb24-aa0b-4293-baf6-b02f3c18428fPost:5734c41f-2b86-4bde-9cfe-0cd67fbfe9a0">Re: Is it me or...</a>:
[QUOTE]No I kinda agree with AFP. Question...is it common or uncommon, etiquette or what to host a full open bar the entire night? My opinion is that it is uncommon in New England to have a full open bar, however very tacky in other parts of the country to not host a full open bar.
Posted by crystal5724[/QUOTE]

I only have experience with my venue, so I could be wrong, but I think it's not really "open bar" from the bride & groom's point of view (as in, not necessarily a flat fee per person for open bar). But from the guest's point of view, it's "open bar" because they can drink as much as they want... the bride & groom just pick up the tab. True open bar wasn't an option for me.. I'm going to have to pay for drinks as they are consumed.

tiffad

I agree with Osterizer in that I think quite a bit has to do with differences in traditions/customs/norms varying between regions. But thats where that stops. You're definitely right AFP that what happened went overboard in how Miss Nebraska treated you.

 What I have found is that many people do not fully read what is being posted or misunderstand or quite honestly are mean little...lets say witches. Instead of asking a simple question to clarify they go on the attack. I've had it happen and I just ignore it. I admit I responded then deleted it. I don't need to explain my entire life to them. I feel there is no use to getting all riled up about people on the web that aren't involved with you life.

As for the open bar, I'm surprised that Crystal thinks it uncommon up here. I'm actually from right outside Boston, just a transplant to RI. I have actually never been to a wedding that wasn't open bar and I go to at least a 3-5 a year. For our wedding I was able to bargain all but one hour of open bar inclusive and then we're paying a flat rate per person (under $10) for the last hour. I know that can be  done up in Boston, for just a bit more, as I have family that work in several exclusive hotels and run the functions. Unless you're getting married during one of the busiest weekends for marriages they WANT your money. It's amazing what you can get out of a lot of places when they are pressed for it.