Help! BM backed out

Lindsey_Jonathan

So I'm in a bit of a predicament.  One of my closest friends was going to be a BM, up until about a week ago when she found out her sister's due date for her first baby is the Monday of the week of my wedding, compared to what the Dr.'s originally thought which was 2 weeks after my wedding.  Now she said she can't be in the wedding because she'll be flying to AZ to be there for the birth.  I get it, completely understand, FI however, doesn't understand.  But that's another story. 
My question for all you out there, should I ask another close friend to replace her spot?  This other friend I wanted to be in the wedding but FI only has 6 GM and we wanted to have the same #. My friend understood.  I don't want her to feel as a "replacement".  Also, FI has a SIL that is 10 yrs older than us, she's not in the wedding party.  Should I consider asking her first?  Help! Thanks!!!

noodle_oo

At 4 months till your wedding, I would not replace her.  Whoever you ask will know she is only being asked because you are down a BM.  No matter what, they will feel second string.  At 4 months, would they even have enough time to get a dress that fits and everything?  Just leave things the way they are.

PS.  I'm curious why your FI doesn't understand.  My sister and I are very close and I was on standby with her first baby, I drove out to see her the moment she went into labor.  If they are close, it is a very important event!

Biotechick620

I wouldn't replace her either.  It's ok to have an uneven number of BM and GM, although I can see where it might make you a little peeved.

Plus, who's to say that her sister doesn't deliver early or have her due date changed again?  If that happens than your BM might still be able to make it to your wedding.

JBs_Bride

You don't need to replace her. I agree with noodle in that I would be annoyed to be the "fill-in" BM if I was asked to replace someone in a wedding that's only a few months away.  Uneven bridal parties are very common.

plato79

Not sure why your FI doesn't understand. 

I think that people understand that you wanted a certain number of people in the wedding and if they are invited as a backup, you'll know whether or not they'll take that well. I think some friends/relatives wouldn't care, others would. Just choose carefully if you choose to replace, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a replacement. 

Good luck!

blueloo123

I had to fill in 2 BM's. My MOH dropped out about 4 months before so I filled in another friend who has been awesome. A BM dropped out 2 weeks ago with 7 weeks to go before the wedding and I filled in another friend. Then a GM dropped out last week and FI had to fill in another friend. Luckily we had other friends who were willing to do it and didn't feel badly about it.

ourwedding111111

I read the title and thought Oh my goodness! Then I read your post and thought, Unfortunate that she has to back out, but it sounds like it's for a very valid reason.  Especially, as I believe a pp might have said, if she and her sister are very close.  I'm sure she would love to be in both places if she could.  I think it's wonderful that you are so understanding, and I would have to agree with some of the other posts...It will be OK if the party is uneven.

megandjay

Don't replace her, just have an uneven bridal party. It is not the end of the world.