thank yous- how long?

Starmusica

Ok ladies.. my shower was close to my wedding and I never got a chance to get the thank u's out. They went out this week (I am bad about this and striving to be better.. we had some personal stuff that happened right around the wedding that threw life into disarray).

So if the shower thank yous went out now.. how long should i wait to send the wedding? How long do you normally have? Our photographer is making them and they should be in in around 2 weeks.. is that already too late?

jkepros

I am usually really good about these things, but we still have about 2/3 of our wedding TY to send out...and our wedding was JUNE 12TH!!!  :P  Terrible, I know.  BUT I have to say, I am writing, like, a novel to each guest, so at least they aren't just getting a "thanks for the gift, love J&N" note. 

I don't think you need to wait at all.  Basically, I think etiquette says to send them ASAP...I think 1-2 months is normal.  It doesn't matter that the shower TYs just went out. 

bostonbride214

personally, I would wait for the photo TY that you are having made and want to send out --- you don't want to double up in a matter of days with the wedding TY note...I never notice that a TY note is too late --- unless it comes 6 months too late and I have to remember when it is from

Starmusica

thanks guys. I am notoriously terrible about this stuff and really- i have no excuse. I just get so crazy and forget. The shower- it was a month before the wedding or so and soon after that our lives went crazy for awhile. I feel terrible they were so late altho i doubt anyone was terribly upset..

Galaxy8227

I'm sure everyone understands how busy the month before your wedding is and no one will be upset--they will just be happy to get the thank you note. 

Karen's MOH

I just recently got one thank you for a shower gift and wedding gift in one-- her shower was only a week before the wedding so there was no time in between. I know technically it was an etiquette no-no but I definitely didn't care.

I would send them out as soon as the photo cards come in.

sboston06

I am sending out my shower TY's tomorrow, which is two weeks.  I plan to send the wedding TYs within 5 weeks.

I believe you have 3 months though.

noodle_oo

I would try to send the wedding thank you's as soon as you can!  Writing thank you notes is HARD!  I only had like 12 to write for the shower and it still took me like a week and hurt my hand!  (I need to get a padded pen...)  I have a TON to write for the wedding and I plan to start tonight.  If I do a few a night, I hope to get them all done in like 2 weeks.

My feeling is that the longer you wait, the more stressful it is!  I just want to get them out and done asap.  I also know that I always notice when I get thank you's quickly and I appreciate the effort, so I'm trying to that for my friends.  Plus, I won't deposit checks until the TY is out, and I want to do that soon too!

So:  my advice is to start writing as soon as you get your photo cards and mail them as you go.  One thing that helped me:  I wrote out the thank you on the computer first (to compose my thoughts) and then wrote it on the card when I was happy.  That saved me from making mistakes (which I do a lot).  A little anal, but it made it easier for me!

jaguarjen

noodle_oo, that's actually a really good idea about pre-writing the thank-yous.  That would be something Starmusica could even start now while waiting for the cards from the photographer, and even though it's slightly more work overall, could make it go faster and feel less overwhelming when the cards are in -- if you get home from a long day at work completely mentally exhausted, you might not be up to composing 20 thank-you notes from scratch, but copying 20 notes you already have while your favorite show is on in the background might feel doable. 

One thing I was going to suggest was pre-addressing envelopes -- if the envelopes come with the cards, then either asking the photographer if the envelopes for the cards could be picked up/sent early (may not be possible) or, if the cards are a common size, just picking up a box of envelopes for that size (or a box of all-purpose notecards in that size) and addressing them now, and then saving/repurposing the envelopes that come with the actual cards.