Conundrum Du Jour (long, sorry)

spuccio

So I got married in September. A couple of weeks after the wedding (maybe by the beginning of Oct), we got a check from DH's relative, Aunt Albany.

Fast forward to early December. Aunt Albany's check is hanging out at the bottom of a pile of assorted crap in my kitchen. I've forgotten about it.  I get a verbal WTF via my MIL plus some emails from Aunt Albany asking about the check.  I feel badly about it, I apologize profusely. But with the holidays happening, and houseloads of people in town, I don't get to the bank until this week.

So here's the deal. She's put a stop on the check. Aunt Albany sent an email to DH saying something about her "not wanting the money to be gone with her buying Christmas presents and all". She said she would give us a money order next time she saw us (we NEVER see her---I only met her once before the wedding).

FTR, I feel terrible that I was such a louse about this. I get that I was forgetful and irresponsible. I don't even care about the money, honestly. If I never see that hundred bucks, I'm OK with it. Although I have to say that I would never, ever stop a check for a wedding gift (or any check, for that matter), even if it took someone forever to cash it. I think that kind of delay is annoying, but nonetheless, I know how to balance my checkbook...

Never mind that though. Here's my question:  I have yet to write her thank you note. What should I say?

EKobrenski

Hmm that's a weird one.  Maybe you could say something like "thank you for thinking of us with the generous gift" (since she did think of you), but then apologize (lightly) for forgetting to cash the check.  I think it's odd she put a stop on it though.

spuccio

I do too. I can't blame her for being irritated or just downright pissed at us for not depositing it right away. I get where she is coming from. But I definitely don't think its OK to stop the check? And I am just being honest here, we will never see that gift---its the elephant in the room, I think...so part of me thinks it would be cheeky to write "thanks for the gift" in the card...

EKobrenski

Maybe like "thank you for thinking of us"?  HA you should send this in to a column, this is a unique one. 

Worst case: she feels awkward for stopping the check and you feel awkward about the thank you note...I would rather be on your end

MeaghanandMichael

::nods along with what Ekobs said::

I think that is SUPER weird she put a stop to the check. Even if she wanted to, why not just mail you a money order in it's place?

FutureMrsJRoberts

Dear Aunt Albany

I wanted to thank you for thinking of us with your thoughtful gift. I am so sorry that in the craziness of the wedding and the holidays that I was late in getting to the bank to deposit your check. It means so much to both of us that you were so generous in celebrating our marriage and we look forward to seeing you soon.

Would something like that work? I always think it's better to kill someone with kindness? I'd throw in a couple of photos from the wedding too.

Good luck!! And I just found an Amex gift card from 2007 that I got as a Xmas gift and I think it expired so I know how it is!!

spuccio

Nice, MrsJ. Well done. Thanks to Meaghan, EKobs, and Mrs J!   The post script that I really want to write can remain between us Knotties.

(it goes something like this "Um, okayyyy auntie whacko....")

Krystalynne21

Spuccio. If it makes you feel better....last month we used an Amex gift card from Reilly's 2nd bday (he's 3 1/2 now) and found a $25 check from my friend that she gave him as a bday gift.  Needless to say, I won't cash it since it was a year and a half ago, but I totally forgot about it because it wasn't given to us with the rest of his gifts.  Stopping payment on the check is definitely odd....is she going to deduct the amount it cost her to stop payment from your final gift total when she gives you the money order too?

deborah2121

I think your thank you is perfect! 

Shazzie116

I love cash. For reals. Cash is awesome.

Spooch (which is what I shall henceforth call you since that's how I pronounce "spucc" in my head), I think you should write you Auntie Whacko card and post it here for us to see. I need some entertainment. 

Ainslie325

Spucc,

Why are you being so hard on yourself?  The check was for the two of you as a couple-- not solely to you.  In my book, the "whoops" on its getting lost in the shuffle falls to both DH AND you-- at least spread the mildly unjustified guilt around!  (-:  Give her a call or pop a card in the mail to apoligize for your oversight.  Given the flurry of activity after a wedding, Auntie should really understand.  If she can't be understanding after a heartfelt apology, forgive yourself-- you've made appropriate amends for what was, in my opinion, not a very big deal.

jwatts23

I agree with the ladies, don't feel too bad. That is just bizarre that she put a stop to the check. I mean, really?  It wasn't THAT long ago.  I think people forget how much you do after the wedding not to mention the holidays.

I would be a bit cheeky in the thank you note- it may not come off that way to Auntie Weirdo but at least you get some satisfaction ; )

[Deleted User]

I agree with the girls that being polite is the best way to go, but I'll also be the snotty knottie and say that maybe DH should be writing this thank you note if it's from his side of the family... just sayin...  ;-)

Really, good luck with that.  How awkward!

spuccio

Thanks for the affirmation that I am, in fact, NOT a soulless bitch for thinking that Aunt Albany was out of line.

And just to clear things up--the reason why DH isn't handling the situation is because he would play nice about it, and I am way too much a an alpha female to let that happen. :-)